My first YAGT: When should I call this girl?

[Koing]

Should have called on Monday or Tuesday. Don't leave it too late.

Make it a 'date'. Some girls just otherwise kick you to the 'friends zone'. Try and kiss her at least on the cheek at the end of the day. This will at least indicate 'some' romantic involvement with you. A lot of girls are very touchy feely though so you can't tell unless you kiss them properly.

Saying that if your with a girl that likes you romantically you can get away with almost anything and still hook up with her. But that goes without saying

Koing

PS whats with the gf of ATer's not picking up the tab some of the time?! Stingy...at least offer some of the time if they are able to.

 

[Pepsei]

good advice, here's Mystery's kiss test.

you: "do you want a kiss?"

rarely, they would say yes, but you know what to do with that answer......
most of the time, if you play your cards right, they will say "maybe", then you can say "let's find out..." and kiss them.
if they say no, "oh, i don't mean with me, it just looked like you have something on your mind." ...you still need to work on attracting them.

 

[jjones]

I can't give dating advice to geeks. I never asked girls to "hang out" - I asked them to go out, as in on a date. If I'm not kissing her and/or making body contact on the first date - no call back but I'll probably go out again if she calls me. If I'm not having sex by the third date - adios, time to move on to the next. Rules to live by. I'm surprised some of you ever get laid.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

have you made your intentions known? it doesnt sound like it. She needs to be assured you ar einterested in her sexually/romantically. otherwise you may lose her.


EDIT: to address your original question. There are no hard rules about when to call a girl. Call her when you want to.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: MrChad
Um, I don't think that was a date. I think you grabbed some drinks with a friend.

this was actually the best first date you could probably have. Little money was spent. He didnt do the typical movie and dinner bullsh1t that never works. the terms of the "hang out" were ambiguous so that created that sexual tension. It allowed him much time to talk with her and get to know her in a low pressure situation. I give him a thumbs up for not being a typical suckker. If he plays his cards right on the next hang out and kisses her and escalates physically this one could be in the bag for him.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2
1. I met her through my mutual friend. We went to a standup comedy show then dinner with friends. She and I hit it off instantly- not romantically but we were actively chatting together throughout the night.

2. A day later, via friends' circle of mass emails, I found her email address and wrote her one. "Hey it's me from comedy show, I had a good time. We should meet again, blah blah..."

3. She emails me back and voluntarily gives me her number. Tells me to call her.

4. I call her two days later, at night. We talked for about two hours talking about bunch of stuff. I asked her that we should hang out. (I didn't use the word 'go out' or date'). She agrees.

5. We had a 3 hour date on the following weekend: 6-9pm. I insisted on this since I had to meet up another girl (a friend). We just took some walk around the city.. talking about random stuff...

We go to this trendy bar. It was just perfect- not crowded. I had two scotch ($18) + she only had cranberry juice. ($3) This was the defining moment of our date. We talked about our ambitions, goals, passion, dreams... etc. It was nice to make her laugh. She reaches then pays the tab. I was impressed. My friend calls, I tell her I have to go. She says, I guess you're leaving 15 mins early huh? (Since we were leaving at 8:45pm).

We say goodbye in the middle of a busy street. A nice squeezy hug and I'm off.

That was past Friday. Today is Wednesday after and I'll be leaving to NYC for THIS weekend. When should I call her?

She digs you. Call her up and ask her out. Close the deal. Forget all these people telling you to wait x number of days, or suggesting smooth lines- you want to call her (obviously), so do it. She wants to hear from YOU, don't play games and turn it from something genuine into something artificial - don't think for a second about what youre going to say, just wing it. Tell her you had a great time, you want to see her again, yada yada, and kiss her goodnight next time out. Don't stalk her, just call her, be a man, don't pussyfoot around what your intentions are, and DO IT.

 

[pclstyle]

yeah, sounds really casual to me. but maybe since it's a new face, it still has potential to go somewhere -- but i have 'dates' like that all the time (with girls that grew up with me from pre-school, my friend's sisters that are in-town, etc)

NOTE: the no-alcohol thing is a little strange to me. don't know, maybe it's a personal rule or preference? but to me it comes off as not quite completely comfortable, a little on edge, etc.

don't call her unless you have something else to invite her to, that's my advice. doing the whole 'phone' thing this early could seriously be thwarting any chances you have by coming off too needy or attached, too soon. 2 dates, it's not make or break, take your time and just have a good time with her. You'll catch her vibe real soon, and you'll know whether it's worth trying to pursue an actual relationship, or keep it friendly.

Didn't quite get you- you want to invite her to NYC, or you'll be out of town this weekend and won't see her? In the latter case, wait till the wed/thu (not too early that you seem like a douche that has nothing better to do than plan dates a week in advance) after you get back and invite her out for the friday (not sat, don't occupy her sat this early) for something not centered around drinks again. you can always hit a lounge afterwards or whatever, but get some variety under the belt.


Like i said, it's all you from here. just don't push too hard, don't walk in with expectations, don't see things for what they aren't -- and you should have a great time, at the very least.

It's a good thing to find a girl you can connect with, but there's more than a few out there. Please don't delude yourself into thinking that you stumbled upon your one true love, and that it's worth pursuing to the ends of the earth. make a good friend, a close friend -- and who knows

 

[Saint Nick]

Call her when you feel like you need to call her and ask her out on a second date again.

"Hey, you want to go do _____ at _____________?"

And yeah, call her ASAP, honestly. Right now, for instance.

 

[DougK62]

I feel bad for ppl that ask advice about girls on this forum. There are many responses in this thread that should definitely be ignored.

She obviously likes you. Call her soon.

 

[thereds]

Where's the motha effin update, beyotch?

 

[DannyLove]

thereds, wow i remember that name

 

[FrustratedUser]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2
1. I met her through my mutual friend. We went to a standup comedy show then dinner with friends. She and I hit it off instantly- not romantically but we were actively chatting together throughout the night.

2. A day later, via friends' circle of mass emails, I found her email address and wrote her one. "Hey it's me from comedy show, I had a good time. We should meet again, blah blah..."

3. She emails me back and voluntarily gives me her number. Tells me to call her.

4. I call her two days later, at night. We talked for about two hours talking about bunch of stuff. I asked her that we should hang out. (I didn't use the word 'go out' or date'). She agrees.

5. We had a 3 hour date on the following weekend: 6-9pm. I insisted on this since I had to meet up another girl (a friend). We just took some walk around the city.. talking about random stuff...

We go to this trendy bar. It was just perfect- not crowded. I had two scotch ($18) + she only had cranberry juice. ($3) This was the defining moment of our date. We talked about our ambitions, goals, passion, dreams... etc. It was nice to make her laugh. She reaches then pays the tab. I was impressed. My friend calls, I tell her I have to go. She says, I guess you're leaving 15 mins early huh? (Since we were leaving at 8:45pm).

We say goodbye in the middle of a busy street. A nice squeezy hug and I'm off.

That was past Friday. Today is Wednesday after and I'll be leaving to NYC for THIS weekend. When should I call her?

YESTERDAY!!!

 

[Mo0o]

you should probably do it today and tell her you're going out of town.

by the way, the next one better be a dinner and not "walking around" else you're gonna walk your ass straight to friendville

 

[thereds]

Originally posted by: DannyLove
thereds, wow i remember that name

Remember you too bud. How's J Love doin'?

 

[SociallyChallenged]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2

Originally posted by: czech09
Ok first of all which real guy lets a girl pick up the tab? You should turn in your man card right now...YOU ALWAYS PAY FOR THE GIRL EVEN IF SHE'S YOUR FRIEND - unless it's like 10 of them then they can pick up their own tabs...

I'd say you need to call fairly quickly if you want to be more than a friend.

Please, it's easy for every man to pickup after the girl. I do it all the time. A REAL MAN is someone who can get the girl to pay for you. (not forcing but volutarily).

Says the cheap guy with a lack of class / respect / suave attitude. Seriously though, YOU should've picked up that tab. You were the LARGE portion of the bill. If you did anything, you should have at least fought her playfully over it.

 

[ChiBOY83]

don't call her..email her FTW

 

[DannyLove]

Originally posted by: thereds

Originally posted by: DannyLove
thereds, wow i remember that name

Remember you too bud. How's J Love doin'?

I traded up. I'm with Elisha Cuthbert now.

 

[platinumike]

Definitely 2 days, thats the industry standard. but I've been thinking about 3 ya'know. ya 3 days man, 3 days is money.

 

[Tbirdkid]

I say send over 2 dozen roses, and a box of chocolates. Then, just sit outside her house until she brings another guy over to bang because you havent called her. Then, get mad, and spray paint wh0re on her car, and beat the hell out of the guy....

Ok, now, the real deal, call her man. Dont get caught up in the bs, it aint no game, unless you want it to be a game. She can play too remember....