Beautifully written. Take solace in the fact that you can be so articulate in expressing your sorrow - most people lack even that ability. I lost my dog 2 weeks after moving to the U.S. We had her from 1986 through 1997. Back home I was the one who would take care of her, bathe her and play with her the most. The strangest thing was that as soon as I learned she had died, virtually every memory of her was wiped from my mind. I literally have to struggle to recall any time I spent with her and even then it only comes back as disjointed, vague and clinical recollections. I can only surmise that my brain is protecting me from handling the pain.
EDIT: I just remembered - in the weeks after moving here, I wrote two-three letters to my dog, asking my parents to read it out aloud to her...I must've loved her more than I am aware now. I remember my parents didn't inform me for a couple of months after she passed. My fiancee broke the news finally, finding herself unable to keep me in the dark any more.