My Daughter was born with Duplex Kidneys. She was operated on at 6 weeks old where one of the right sided Kidneys was removed. But unknown to me they did not remove the tube coming from that Kidney, The Ureter i believe its called.
While growing up, wetting herself was a daily thing. I too would asked her "why?"
I got the same reply as you. "cant make it to the bathroom in time"
I did not take the approach you did, with punishments.
Personally i feel for whatever the reason these healthy and normal young ones do it. There is one major thing that sticks out. They are in all sense and purposes desensitized to it. Especially when they are young.
Now for us folks who manage to go to the toilet everyday that just seems unreal doesnt it?
But thats the reality of the situation as it grows over time. Time as in years.
This is not something that can be fixed overnight. To enable you to be abe to help her in the future with this problem. Scolding i believe is not the way to go.
As she grows and the more of the scoldings she will start to hide the one thing she knows dissapoints you.
Yep that means wet underwear shoved in allsorts of places, as it drys, imagine the smell in your home?
She wil start to close down about the very subject and then nobody will be able to get access to her head to help her. If thats the future you want your going the right way of getting there.
Roll on approx 14 years and a change of Doctor. My Daughter was referred back to the same Kidney Surgeon that operated on her as a baby.
I thought our new Dr was nuts! What the heck was he sending her back to him for??
Turns out that tube they left in there and the seal where it joined her bladder was the possible cause of her problems. Nobody would say "yes thats it!" but it was possible.
That day sitting in the Surgeons office....
I looked at my teenage Daughter and tried to imagine her as an Adult with the wetting problem she had. Simple things like crossing a road were a nightmare. She would drop to the ground, middle of the road and hold herself, desperately trying to hold in the wee.
I shed many a tear over the years for her future.
I begged the surgeon to operate again. It took me several months to make him realise that if this was the possible cause, then by jolly lets tackle it head on.
The day the Iraq was started. I dont remember that day for the reasons most do.
I remember that day because i was sitting watching the news at 1pm GMT time. Sitting in a Hospital ward, while my Daughter was having 5 hours of surgery.
The result of which was two Kidneys either side, two ureters now both on the left side of her bladder. The dodgy (oh dont know if i can spell it but ima try!) ureterecele that was left from the third kidney taken away.
I think its around 6 to 7 years now since that war started (day of my Daughters op)
She is about to celebrate her 21st Birthday.
No longer has any problems wetting herself. We can still to this day sit and talk about her wetting days past.
That to me has been the most important thing in all of this...being able to talk about it.
All focus falls on the Child in situations like this. When really the whole family, especially Mum and Dad, Siblings need to be able to understand the plan of approach and stick to it as a unit.
I am telling you my story not because your Daughters reasons are the same, but in the hope that you can pull just one snippet out of it all, that can help you in the circumstance you find yourself in.
We never went for therapy. However if your suspicions are correct, i would not only recommend therapy for your Child but also for your whole family.
Its not easy for a Parent to cope with this. You know that though, i guess its sheer frustration that has made you make your post here.
As for the soiling (encopresis) Roughly how long after the wetting herself did the soiling start? Hows her diet, poor or good? I assume this soiling started after succesful potty training? Her underwear when she doesnt soil, sometimes is it marked when she takes it off
Ie skid marks? Her stools, are they hard or soft?
I know it maybe hard to do. But sometimes problems that seem connected are not connected at all. It is possible she may have something called overflow constipation.
Has she been checked for this?
As for the comments of oh "she shits herself" and "sew her vag shut"...Boy oh boy, you people really know how to help someone dont ya. I hope your Daughter never hears anything like that around her. It does not help the situation one bit.
If there is anyone around her talking like that, remove them instantly.
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