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Must see! Halarious! You computer techs will love this!



<< I own a computer store. One day, two policemen came into the store and told that they owned a 486 and a 286. They asked if a 486 and a 286 could be assembled together into a 686. I replied to the dumb request by asking them if two 200 horsepower police cars can be used to make up a 400 horsepower Ferrari. The policemen didn't get it and replied angrily that altering car engines is strictly forbidden by law. >>


hahahaha
 
thanks FishTankX i needed a good laugh lol

and this is so true

i have a friend who wanted to upgrade a computer but had no idea how things worked who constantly bought the latest and greatest parts for his 286? and then get mad at me when i told him i could not install them
he would then try for months to get mom and pop stores to install them lol

but the kicker was best buy installed a cdrw 24x in his 286? charged him 60.00 and it was a different type mobo it had no cdrom and the harddrive had no master/slave (setting no setting at all)

he brought it to me and asked why his cdrw wouldn't work

imagine my suprise when i opened up the case to see if the cable had come unplugged and found that there was only a single device cable going to the harddrive lol

oh and it did have a cddrom option but was a proprierty piece like the harddrive

wolfsraider
 


<< "Yeah, surfing the Internet is really cool. You do it with this thing called Netscape -- what's the technical term for that, a program? Oh, no, an icon, that's right. Netscape's an icon!" >>


 
What I love is when the people who are describing stupid people are almost as rude and stupid as the people they're criticizing. For instance:

Well, I had one event happen to me, where one lady had just bought a Apple IIc and complained that she was having problems with her monitor, so we told her to bring her monitor in, and we'd check it out. So she brings her monitor in, and we plug it in, and it works without a flaw. We tell her that the monitor isn't the problem, and to bring her CPU in. She stares at us blankly, and asks, "What's the CPU?" Joe explains that it's the piece of equipment that all your devices plug into. So about twenty minutes later, she returns and walks in carrying the surge supressor. When we explained to her the item that we needed her to bring in, she replied, "Oh you mean the keyboard!" (On Apple IIc's, the CPU box and keyboard are part of the same unit.) And to make this all the more interesting, she was a gradeschool computer class instructor.

Uh...if you want to get REALLY technical, the CPU is a SECTION of the main processor core. However, it is a certainly acceptable usage for the entire processor. This is my number one pet peeve: THE COMPUTER IS NOT THE CPU!!! It's not the Hard Drive, it's the whole box, the case, the base of the machine. The CPU is smaller than 1 in sqaure. You can't plug anything into it! AHHHHH.... Furniture companies are notorious for this: "Has CPU storage." Bugs the hell out of me.

Jman
 
A girl walked into the computer center where I work. She said she was having problems with her Mac. I asked what kind of Mac she had. In an indignant voice, she replied, "Duh, Intosh."


LOL!

-Andy
 


<< Edit:This link was given to me by Daovonneax (Lemme know if I spelled that wrong, I'm pretty sure I did) And I give him all the credit.
>>

That was nearly correct. However, you placed the penultimate letter of my name in the antepenultimate position, and vice a versa.

My personal favorite section is the "Hardware Abuse" section, which was filled with brilliance.😉
 
There were several amusing cases where PC owners tried to install Mac OS, and one instance where a Mac owner tried to install Windows 98.
 
hehe, took me a few reads before I finally laughed.



<< A customer called saying he was getting an error in Windows 95. He told me what the error was, and I recognized this as a typical error that occurs after installing MS Office 97.

Tech Support: "Sir, did you just install Office 97?"
Customer: "YOU'RE IN MY COMPUTER, AREN'T YOU?????" (click) >>



sigh... I can relate to some of the stupidness though, I remember when I was afraid of getting busted when I played a pirated game so I'd unplug the modem... 🙂
 
I'm not sure why some of these are on the list:



<< Customer: "Excuse me, there is an empty-folder virus on my disk." >>



There actually was a sort of virus on the Mac that caused it to have empty folders all over that couldn't be deleted.



<< One day a customer brought his computer in, complaining about a problem.
Customer: "My computer has been acting strange. I'm afraid it might be a virus."
Tech Support: "Have you been downloading a lot of software?"
Customer: "Mostly I just download pictures. I think I may have got it from there."
Tech Support: "Not likely. Where are you downloading pictures from?"
Customer: "Different channels. Mostly from my favorite show on NBC."
...

I checked his computer out, fixed his problem, and he left. Needless to say the other techs and I had a good laugh about that new NBC virus that was being broadcast to people with video capture cards. >>



This may seem funny now, but I'm working on tech that will actually make it possible to send a computer virus over the TV signal.
 
LOL I like this one.

===============Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not."
Tech Support: "What program is it?"
Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows." ==================================
 
LOL, this brings back memories from my days in techsupport 🙂

The best part with techsupport was when people left lotsa "funny" pictures on their comps, and you run into them testing the comp.

Two very memorable ones were one guy who complained that the computer would crash often when he used photoshop, and indeed it was a bad memory stick, but when I was testing it to make sure it worked, I noticed he had quite the interesting "Recent file" list, considdering the names of the files Im quite sure it was a load of kiddie porn.

Another guy had shortcuts on his desktop to loads, loads, and more loads of hard core leather gay porn.
And the best part was this guy showed up and picked the computer up in person at the repair shop 😀
 


<< Tech Support: "What operating system are you running? Windows 95?"
Customer: (a little too excited) "95, 97, 98, I've got them all!" >>

I know this one all to well! I've had a few people tell me they have windows 97, or better yet 99. LOL...

<< Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
Tech Support: "And that is what?"
Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it."
Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."

Then it took me fifteen minutes to convince him that he had a Mac. Even after showing him "About this Macintosh." I spent another fifteen minutes trying to convince him that Windows 98 wouldn't work on his Mac. He said it should work because Windows 98 is for PCs, and he had a PowerPC. I think he's still trying to get it to read that CD, because I never could convince him. >>

Mac users...
rolleye.gif
😱😛:Q
 
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