I read your first post multiple times, westom. I appreciate anyone that is trying to help but frankly your post contradicts itself multiple times (you say in some spots that ONLY earth ground can be used and then say elsewhere to never use earth ground), and you referred several times to things that either simply don't make sense (what is a "wall receptacle in a computer"?) or go against what people I have come to trust
You are trusting what scams and myths have told you. If what you have hearsd contradicts what is posted, then either 1) you were told a lies, 2) you did not understand what they said, 3) you completely misread what I posted, or 4) you still don't understand why your 'contradictions' are really saying the same thing.
For example, did you see the expression "single point earth ground"? It is an almost biblical expression for your solution. You MUST have a single point earth ground at the breaker box. And no earth ground in the computer room.
BTW, electricians typically do not understand this. Electricians are taught what must connect to what for human safety. Learning that can take years. Only the few and better electricians also know why code required these things. And rarely understand additional requirements for surge protection. For example, radio engineers and ham radio operators would understand this because impedance (that electricians need not learn) is relevant to exceeding what is required by code. The electrician typically knows what is done to meet code. Surge protection is about exceeding code requirements.
Another example of why you might be confused. That wall receptacle safety ground is not earth ground. A third prong on an AC receptacle safety grounds the rack.
Server room is earthed via the wall receptacle and AC power safety ground. Not to earth anywhere in the computer (server) room. Everything in the server room is or is not earth depending on what exists at the service entrance (breaker box). If directly earthing anything in the computer room, then future damage is encouraged –a single point earth ground no longer exists anywhere in the building. To be earthed, computer room wires must be distant from the earth ground (located 'less than 10 feet' from the breaker box). Do no wiring anywhere inside the building (assuming your server room is powered from a three wire circuit as required by code). See again the part about how telcos have no surge damage? Protector and earth ground are up to 50 meters distant from their 'server room'. You must do same. Probably not 50 meters. But the point - to be earthed, the server room must be distant from the single point earth ground.
Any wire that enters your building must enter within feet of that earth ground so that it can connect to that earth ground. Every wire inside every cable must connect to earth ground before entering the building. Connect short (ie 'less than 10 feet') either directly (cable TV) or make that short connection via a protector (AC electric, telephone).
The figure in this application note demonstrates same. Even underground wires must be earthed before entering. In this app note are two structures. Each must have its own single point earth ground. Any wire that enters or leaves either structure must first connect to single point earth ground - directly or via a protector:
http://www.erico.com/public/library/fep/technotes/tncr002.pdf
Things like "safety ground vs earth ground", single point earth ground, 'less than 10 feet', up to 50 meters, "every incoming wire inside every cable", etc - these are critical important details. If you did not understand the significance of those details, then you will see contradictions.
What do telcos do? Where the wire connects to earth and where the wire connects to your server room electronics .... up to 50 meters separation. That distance increases protection. Expanding earth ground (and again, the only earth ground must be the single point earth ground) means protection inside the server room is enhanced. Yes, what is done farther away is important.
Appreciated a concept. You must view the entire building to have protection in that server room. Anything you do only inside the server room can even make damage easier.
Also inspect your primary surge protection. It this critical component in the primary protection layer is missing, then your server room is at risk:
http://www.tvtower.com/fpl.html
Another example of how far away solutions are best located - and you don't rewire anything inside the building. That was averting future damage.
Back to solving the current problem. Based upon what you have posted, well, the problem can be computer hardware layer, computer link layer (yes there is a difference), cable to wall, cable from wall through conduit, cable from conduit to router, hardware layer inside the router, and link layer inside the router. (Ground is not part of this analysis. Ground is about averting future problems.) For example, using the NIC manufacturer's diagnostics to talk between two computers (that must have the same NIC to have the same diagnostic) can be a powerful tool.
If nothing else, buy two NICs from the same (major) manufacturer that also provides those comprehensive diagnostics. (Some less responsible NIC manufacturers do not provide comprehensive diagnostics.) NICs installed in two computers (as even a second NIC port), now creates a diagnostic tool. (Only better NIC manufacturers provide those diagnostics).
Now view the suspect list. Execute diagnostics by simply connecting the two computers directly with a 'cross-over' ethernet cable (also get two RJ-45 female to female adaptors - another useful tool). Cable and female RJ-45 adaptors available and any better computer store that can also provide those NICs. IOW the cable (with wires inside the cable crossed) connects directly from one computer network port to another - no router or anything else. Run the diagnostic. Now you are only testing one thing - NIC hardware to NIC hardware. Simple test creates a benchmark. A test that works because two computers talk to one another using worst cable data packets, only using hardware layer and not even using link layer.
Next connect those same computers via conduit ethernet cables. IOW, in the server room, jumper two cables with the female RJ-45 ethernet adaptors and cross over cable. Now let the two computers talk directly to each other as before - without any router or anything else connected.
This second test adds only one suspect the test - cables in conduit. That is the principle. In each test, only add one more suspect. For example, the next test replaces the crossover cable with only a router that connects to nothing else but those two computers. Then next test only connects the network cable to a third computer - because one cable can act bad when the problem is created by another cable attached to the same router. (This sentence relevant to your router failure.) Step by step until something becomes unstable. If you do not do this, then your only useful solution must do something similar - a step by step addition or subtraction of only one suspect until things start working or stop working. Each step tested by that worst case data pattern from the NIC diagnostic (or something that also creates worst case data patterns such as a serious Ethernet cable tester). There is no better way to find and eliminate an intermittent.
Windows masks, works around, or compensates for failures - as it should. Windows as a diagnostic tool is inferior; cannot even differentiate between network hardware interface and network link interface. If you do not know the difference, then you are only that much more confused trying to eliminate the problem - which is why diagnostics are so critically important to solve problems faster and the first time.
Without a serious ethernet cable tester, oscilloscope, or something equivalent, then your only choice is shotgunning. Keep replacing good part until something works. Your Wireshark test seems to report useful facts. But again, follow the procedure of only adding one suspect at a time. The router test must first be with no other cables (as noted earlier). Then only add one or a few cables at a time. Under diagnostics, no router should reorder the packets unless the packet is being resent due to hardware failure (what Windows and other hardware do to work around problem so that you do not know that problem exists).
An AC three prong plug into the wall receptacle means the chassis / rack connects directly to wall safety ground. Nothing I posted says you wire that connection directly. Or, if the rack is hardwired, then safety ground wire inside the conduit does the same grounding. Conduit also does grounding BUT is not considered reliable. If the rack is powered, then that rack MUST be connected to a safety ground wire that enters the room with other AC power wires. That is necessary for human safety and required by code. No, you do not connect the rack with a wire to the wall receptacle screw. That third prong connects the rack to the wall receptacle safety ground.
Good reasons why it is called safety ground. Code calls it equipment ground. Equipment ground and earth ground are different. All equipment must connect to safety (equipment) ground. Equipment (safety) ground connects to earth ground only at the breaker box.
This post written and then modified before and after new information posted.