Those that have followed my recent rants know I have focused my aggressions on on particular moron at work. The fellow fancies himself a network technician, DBA, webmaster, hardware specialist, and "misunderstood" genius. Funny how he is none of the above. This "webmaster" doesn't even know how to FTP. The one time he did try, there was a huge mess that took 2 hours and one backup tape to resolve. So where does FrontPage 2K fit into the whole equation?
It seems that the group he is in mainatins an intranet site the provides info that needs to be updated regualarly. Most of the work is maintained by the graphic artist and one assistant. There was nothing fancy. Everything was done in Netscape Composer which is very basic but served it purpose well. One day this idiot overheard me giving a few FrontPage tips to someone. He also happened so see me use the "publish" feature which automatically uploaded the page and resolved the links.
What does he do? he goes running to his boss and tells him about all the "geewiz" features of FrontPage. Somehow he manages to convice his boss to "revamp" the entire site. The graphic designer is pretty pissed that an envelope stuffer (for lack of a better title) has went over his head to start an completely useless project. I was pretty ambivilant until the moron dropped by one every 10 minutes to ask me so really dumb question. How do you make it single space? How do I insert an image? Can I change the background color? They guy didn't know jack squat about the software. What was his excuse? I quote, "When us programmers let standards from evil monopolistic entities filter into everyday life, the quaility of the product suffers and drains the creative mind." All I can say is I have $10 going to the person that can make head or tails of what he said and how it relates to him being a DAMN MORON.
Over the next 2 weeks he muddles through the project and no one really cares since he is only wasting his own time. After that time, he comes to me and asked the $64,000 question. How do you create a link? WHAT!?!?!?!? What the hell has he been up to for the last 2 weeks? It seems when I used the term "autmatically resolve links" he though it meant that the software would figure out what he wanted and link automatically. Boy, this guy make Rocky Balboa look like a quantum physticist.
I take a quick look and he has exactly 10 HTM files. At least I think they were HTM files since they were saved as "Introduction Page", "Table of Contents Page", "Information of ABC Product Group", "Quarterly Results For Q1 2000" OMFG how did he butcher the names so badly? Not only that be he put so much info on each page that it would take about 2 hours to scroll down and 5 hours load. He has dozens of 2MB+ TIFF embedded on each page. I couldn't believe the filesizes I saw. he didn't understand the his stupid ass names would be way too cumbersome.
What was his response to the massive files? "It loads fast enough on my computer" WTH!?!? Of course it loads fast, its on your local machine!!!! His response? "Can't you upgrade everyone's router to gigaBYTE networking? At that spped, it will load very fast" Huh? Another $5 for the person that figures that one out.
After much wrangling, me and the graphics designer set him straight and he goes about redoing everything. I basically did the first 5 links and set him off to do the rest. Another week passes and he finally sorts out his mess. This idiot always shows up late and leaves early so I purposely set up the upload session after 4PM (He's in by 9:30 and out the door at 4PM). I set FrontPage to publish and everything seems to go fine. One problem, he mislinked everything. How the hell do you mislink in FrontPage? The only links that worked were the five I did initally. GRRRRRR!!!!!
Well today he comes in and spouting his usual BS about "Bill Gates the Great Satan" and his "Shoddy software thrust upon the despairing masses." WTF!?!?!? Hey, weren't you the hoser that first begged to get FrontPage? I again showed him to elusive concept of hyperlinking and set him off again. 5 hours later he comes back and tells me there is a problem. AWWW CRAP!!! What now? It seems that he started working on a older copy of the file and basically all the work he did for the day went down the toilet. AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
After that I threw him out of my office. The graphic designer is fed up and is meeting with their boss tomorrow. I never wish bad mojo for anyone but I think this guy will be gone by the end of the week. Hate to say it but "Good Riddence!!!!"
Thanks for putting up with the rant.
Windogg
It seems that the group he is in mainatins an intranet site the provides info that needs to be updated regualarly. Most of the work is maintained by the graphic artist and one assistant. There was nothing fancy. Everything was done in Netscape Composer which is very basic but served it purpose well. One day this idiot overheard me giving a few FrontPage tips to someone. He also happened so see me use the "publish" feature which automatically uploaded the page and resolved the links.
What does he do? he goes running to his boss and tells him about all the "geewiz" features of FrontPage. Somehow he manages to convice his boss to "revamp" the entire site. The graphic designer is pretty pissed that an envelope stuffer (for lack of a better title) has went over his head to start an completely useless project. I was pretty ambivilant until the moron dropped by one every 10 minutes to ask me so really dumb question. How do you make it single space? How do I insert an image? Can I change the background color? They guy didn't know jack squat about the software. What was his excuse? I quote, "When us programmers let standards from evil monopolistic entities filter into everyday life, the quaility of the product suffers and drains the creative mind." All I can say is I have $10 going to the person that can make head or tails of what he said and how it relates to him being a DAMN MORON.
Over the next 2 weeks he muddles through the project and no one really cares since he is only wasting his own time. After that time, he comes to me and asked the $64,000 question. How do you create a link? WHAT!?!?!?!? What the hell has he been up to for the last 2 weeks? It seems when I used the term "autmatically resolve links" he though it meant that the software would figure out what he wanted and link automatically. Boy, this guy make Rocky Balboa look like a quantum physticist.
I take a quick look and he has exactly 10 HTM files. At least I think they were HTM files since they were saved as "Introduction Page", "Table of Contents Page", "Information of ABC Product Group", "Quarterly Results For Q1 2000" OMFG how did he butcher the names so badly? Not only that be he put so much info on each page that it would take about 2 hours to scroll down and 5 hours load. He has dozens of 2MB+ TIFF embedded on each page. I couldn't believe the filesizes I saw. he didn't understand the his stupid ass names would be way too cumbersome.
What was his response to the massive files? "It loads fast enough on my computer" WTH!?!? Of course it loads fast, its on your local machine!!!! His response? "Can't you upgrade everyone's router to gigaBYTE networking? At that spped, it will load very fast" Huh? Another $5 for the person that figures that one out.
After much wrangling, me and the graphics designer set him straight and he goes about redoing everything. I basically did the first 5 links and set him off to do the rest. Another week passes and he finally sorts out his mess. This idiot always shows up late and leaves early so I purposely set up the upload session after 4PM (He's in by 9:30 and out the door at 4PM). I set FrontPage to publish and everything seems to go fine. One problem, he mislinked everything. How the hell do you mislink in FrontPage? The only links that worked were the five I did initally. GRRRRRR!!!!!
Well today he comes in and spouting his usual BS about "Bill Gates the Great Satan" and his "Shoddy software thrust upon the despairing masses." WTF!?!?!? Hey, weren't you the hoser that first begged to get FrontPage? I again showed him to elusive concept of hyperlinking and set him off again. 5 hours later he comes back and tells me there is a problem. AWWW CRAP!!! What now? It seems that he started working on a older copy of the file and basically all the work he did for the day went down the toilet. AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
After that I threw him out of my office. The graphic designer is fed up and is meeting with their boss tomorrow. I never wish bad mojo for anyone but I think this guy will be gone by the end of the week. Hate to say it but "Good Riddence!!!!"
Thanks for putting up with the rant.
Windogg
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