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KLin

KLin

Lifer
Feb 29, 2000
30,246
578
126
The town I live in has a factory downtown that processes and cans peaches :p.
 
scorpmatt

scorpmatt

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
7,040
97
91
Originally posted by: KLin
The town I live in has a factory downtown that processes and cans peaches :p.
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did you squeeze a peach in your hand and make a small place for an ant to hide?
 
Quasmo

Quasmo

Diamond Member
Jul 7, 2004
9,630
1
76
Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man, in a factory downtown.
If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day, sun-soakin' bulges in the shade.
 
scorpmatt

scorpmatt

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
7,040
97
91
Originally posted by: Leper Messiah
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Are you talking about a redneck girl named Peaches or what?
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ah, a non-believer. never heard the song i guess...
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I have to admit, I wouldn't mind a country girl named Peaches, as long as she lived up to her name :D
 
I

imported_Sherman

Junior Member
Aug 19, 2005
18
0
0
John Prine!! Just bought his new CD. Seven years is a long time for a new album. Hope he fully recovers from trout cancer.
 
L

Leper Messiah

Banned
Dec 13, 2004
7,973
8
0
Originally posted by: Sherman
John Prine!! Just bought his new CD. Seven years is a long time for a new album. Hope he fully recovers from trout cancer.
Click to expand...

Did you join just to say that, or WWYBYWB?
 
scorpmatt

scorpmatt

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
7,040
97
91
Originally posted by: Leper Messiah
Originally posted by: Sherman
John Prine!! Just bought his new CD. Seven years is a long time for a new album. Hope he fully recovers from trout cancer.
Click to expand...

Did you join just to say that, or WWYBYWB?
Click to expand...

 
JulesMaximus

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,553
942
126
Nobody is going to get this but here goes:

I'm movin' to Montana soon...

Gonna be a dental floss tycoon. :D
 
scorpmatt

scorpmatt

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
7,040
97
91
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: scorpmatt
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
I'm movin' to Montana soon...

Gonna be a dental floss tycoon. :D
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BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! nice
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Wow! Someone actually got that? :laugh::thumbsup:
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:beer: for me!!!! im gonna get drunk tonight, you wait and see
 
JulesMaximus

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,553
942
126
Nobody writes lyrics like this anymore:

I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental Floss

Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
I can sell uptown

By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
For somebody else...but then, on the other hand I'd

Keep the wax
N' melt it down
Pluck some Floss
N' swish it aroun'

I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top (that's why I'M movin' to)

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon (yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune

I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all
Afternoon...

I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way

I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks

I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line

With a
Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand

By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Well I might
Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night

And then I'd
Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my foot a push...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Dennil Floss Bush

N' then I might just
Jumb back on
An' ride
Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana

Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
 
JulesMaximus

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,553
942
126
One of my all time favorites:

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no,


Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
Done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the

I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said...)

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up
Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ________ if I wasn't done yet

I told her...
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN OOOOH!
She surrended to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
'Bout her mental health
'Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline...

Kiss my aura...Dora...
M-M-M...it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

MMM...sound like y'might be chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more...

MMM, sure...listen
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM...tweezers!
Here, lemme sterilize 'em...
Gimme your lighter...

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some,


Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
 
C

conehead433

Diamond Member
Dec 4, 2002
5,569
901
126
Peaches En Regalia! LOL

How about Cosmik Debris - here ya go

The mystery man came over
And he said I?m outta sight!
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of
His pressing affairs and devote
His attention to me

But I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don?t waste your time on me

The mystery man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin? his box won?t do
With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo
He said you might not believe this, little fella
But it?ll cure your asthma too

And I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, don?t waste your time on me
(don?t waste your time)

I?ve got troubles of my own, I said
And you can?t help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout!
But I got the crystal ball, he said
And held it to the ligh
So I snatched it, all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper ?round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn?t even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down!

And I said look here brother-who you
Jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho?
Don?t you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, don?t waste your time on me
Don?t waste it, don?t waste your time on me
(shanti)
Frank Zappa
 
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