Moving out on your own in the US

[ChaoZ]

Originally posted by: jtvang125
My cousin is married with 4 kids and is still living with his parents. If that isn't pathetic then I don't know what is.

Sure it's not the parents living with the kids?

 

[Patt]

I left home at 20, and ended up going back for 2 years when I went back to finish post-secondary schooling to save some cash. Shortly after graduating, I was gone for good :thumbsup: for my parents helping me through school.

 

[iamwiz82]

We moved out at 18. Sure I have student loans thanks to it, but I would not have changed a thing in the world.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: Patt
I left home at 20, and ended up going back for 2 years when I went back to finish post-secondary schooling to save some cash. Shortly after graduating, I was gone for good :thumbsup: for my parents helping me through school.

Hey, my old man let me come back after a couple years of school too. But, I got the boot again because, "This ain't Rick's motel"

 

[astrosfan90]

Originally posted by: IAteYourMother
possibly because the economy in Argentina blows monster balls, so it's quite common for students/kids to stay at home and get themselves on their feet

During the 90s the economy was in incredible shape, and this was still a very common thing.

Anyway, the answers in this thread surprise me a bit. I'm used to people being bashed in a thread around here the moment it's noted that they're 18+ and living at home for any reason at all.

 

[drinkmorejava]

Uhhh, k. Generally, if you go to college, you're still living at home during the summer and winter break. And that's what's expected, no clue where you're getting any other ideas.

And BTW legally being an adult means rather little. You're still a dependant until you're 24 unless you get married, are a veteran, and something else.

 

[Dacalo]

Originally posted by: fs5
Also most of my friends are asian, and in asian cultures it's a given you're going to live at home until you're married.

That's true. I just turned 27, and I live with my mom. My father passed away 7 years ago (time flies...) and although she is accustomed to the lifestyle here, she is not quite fluent in English, but she understands well. She suffered from depression for a few years after my father passed away, but she is back to her normal self now. She enjoys my company and I enjoy hers; you can learn a lot from your parents.

Lived at dorm/apt with roommates while in college, but came back home after. Working on second degree in Accountancy and the CPA exam.

I pay all the bills while saving up for a house.

 

[astrosfan90]

Originally posted by: drinkmorejava
Uhhh, k. Generally, if you go to college, you're still living at home during the summer and winter break. And that's what's expected, no clue where you're getting any other ideas.

For one summer, I lived at home and worked (and paid "rent"). For two more, I lived around campus working/taking courses. Really the only times I spent at home in college were around Christmas.

In any case, I realize that I'm making broad generalizations.

 

[rudder]

Originally posted by: mugs
Actually I believe the average age of people living at home in the US is getting higher... it's no uncommon anymore for people in their late 20s and early 20s to be living at home.

Here on Anandtech there are many who left home early and look down on others who don't do the same, but living at home for a while after college is a great way to save money when you really need to save money. There is nothing wrong with making a sound financial decision like that.

I lived at home for a year after graduation. The onyl problem is I would never bring or sneak a girl into my parents house with the purpose of shagging. lol, I had to do in high school cause i had no choice... but at 18 and older it just seemed to be disrespectful. All the money I could have saved was not worth that.

 

[yowolabi]

I think the norms are a lot different for males and females also.

A high percentage of the females I know still live with their parents. Most have graduated college and work full time. Interestingly enough, they're usually broke as they use the money they save to buy clothes/go to concerts and such.

Either way, they are not looked down on by anybody and feel little pressure to move from either their parents or society. All the males I know on the other hand have moved out of their parent's house and feel pressure from both society and their parents to not come back.

This is in the Chicago area and the people i'm talking about are generally 24-27 years old.

 

[essasin]

I live in the east bay (Union City) which is not as expensive compared to SF. The homes I am looking at are in a big community that are roughly 3500 sq feet and some are bigger, some smaller but they start at 1.2 million. Needless to say I am saving every every penny from my research job (its been 2 and half years) while staying at home. Luckily my parents will help me out with the down payment and are helping me pay for med school...otherwise I would be well into my 30's before I could afford a nice place.

 

[aswedc]

Originally posted by: drinkmorejava
And BTW legally being an adult means rather little. You're still a dependant until you're 24 unless you get married, are a veteran, and something else.

Hey look it's someone who has no idea what he's talking about!

There are all sorts of different kinds of dependency. The one you are referring to is dependency for the purposes of federal financial aid for higher education, and that's all those rules apply to.

Dependency for health care, the IRS, etc, all operate differently - and in almost all of those cases an adult who supports themselves regardless of age is considered independent.

 

[ebaycj]

I think in places with a high average housing cost, people stay at home a lot longer (even with college degrees and high paying full time jobs). I know a lot of 25-29yo's that are still at home.

Often, their parents actually encourage it. They stay at home for 5 years making $60k/yr ($45k after tax), and they end up with ~180-200k (or more if you invested aggressively and/or spent frugally) in the bank when they go to buy a house. Put $150k down, leave 30K in a high-interest savings as a buffer zone so you don't lose the house if you lose your job. This is how one goes about affording a $500k house on $60-70k / yr.

EDIT: (okay just did the math, really should be $400k house not $500k house, still you get my point.)

I'm still glad I moved out of my parents house 6 months after I graduated college.

 

[ArchCenturion]

I got flamed last week for still living at home with my parents and complaining that they kicked me out for slapping my little brother.

It just makes a lot more financial sense to stay at home if your parents allow it. I lucked out that i can just go live with my friends mom and help her out, but if i had to live on my own and pay rent then i would probably end up digging myself into a financial hole until i finished my education and had to start my career.

Whats the point of moving out...
You might think its so that you can go do whatever you want, but that also costs money, and with rent and other expenses, all those wonderful things you imagined yourself doing when you were on your own, are now too expensive and not worth it.

I think that if you are single, and still in school, there really is no point to moving out, and trying to make it "on your own", unless you really hate your parents, or visa versa which is sort of my case.

I don't care that so and so moved out at 18, and were all independent.

At least he in SoCal, they were proabably living in a sh1tty apt, and had to eat ramen and ketchup. They also had to deal with dirty room mates that wouldnt shut the fvck up after 12pm, or left wierd ass smelly food in the refrigerator.

Where as at home, i would have several tv's, my dog, food always on hand, my own room with my brother, no rent payments, and everyone would be asleep by 11pm.

 

[n yusef]

I don't look down on people who like with their parents as an adult, but I know I can't. Do any of you go out and come home late? Do you ever have a girl over? I know my parents wouldn't appreciate it if I came home at 2 AM, and I just wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with my parents in the next room. I doubt any women would either.

I understand the economical benefits of living with your parents, but for me it doesn't permit an enjoyable lifestyle. Different people have different priorities, I guess.

 

[shuttleboi]

There is a high correlation between wanting to get a place of one's own and wanting to have ad hoc casual sex. In the US, 20-somethings are in the mood for casual sex, so the need for a separate place is clear. Those who don't have as much sex can occasionally snooker at their partners' place and are more able to live at home with their parents.

 

[Electric Amish]

I moved out to college at 18.

A year later I was getting married and moved out for good.

 

[pontifex]

wow, several hours later and there is still barely any bashing of people who live at home. did the people in the last thread get warned by the mods or something?

 

[SampSon]

It's just a difference in culture.

Though from my experience I know quite a few people that still live with their parents in their 20s. All of them have jobs, pay bills and could live on their own, but they don't for various reasons. Many of them are only first or second generation Americans, so mabey the western european culture is still alive in them.

 

[Mill]

All I know is that in Colombia it is very common to live at home until you are upper 20's. It is also very common to be very slack ass and spend a hundred years getting your degree even though you don't need as many credits or pointless Gen Ed stuff. That being said, they typically have closer knit families and closer relations with extended family as well.

 

[monk3y]

Almost all of my cousins in south India have actually moved out of their house and gone elsewhere to school when they were around 18. I actually moved out of my parent's place when I was 16.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I moved out of my Mom's house when I was 18. I wasn't forced out and it wasn't as though my home life was bad, it was quite good actually. I just wanted to try it on my own. I'm glad I did. It was the right time for me.

Still, I tend to think of guys living with their parents at anything over 25 years of age as unusual and wonder what the hell is wrong with them (not that I know anyone like that...well, except for one freaky neighbor of ours).

I think it's good to get out there on your own and experience being self sufficient...certainly before marrying someone.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: shuttleboi
There is a high correlation between wanting to get a place of one's own and wanting to have ad hoc casual sex. In the US, 20-somethings are in the mood for casual sex, so the need for a separate place is clear. Those who don't have as much sex can occasionally snooker at their partners' place and are more able to live at home with their parents.

I don't recall having sex anymore often after moving out of my Mom's house than I did prior. That had absolutely no bearing on my decision quite honestly (oh, and I did have a steady GF with whom I was having sex at the time).

I'd say there is very low correlation between wanting to get a place of your own and wanting sex.

 

[ponyo]

I plan on charging rent to my kids after college/school if they choose to live at home. I think it's only fair to the kids.

 

[Allanv]

i moved out when i left school @ 16, thats the school finishing age in the UK