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more funny/lame pickup lines

M

mchammer187

Diamond Member
all of these are stolen from somewhere or other



Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

Hi, I'm necrofiliac, how good are you at playing dead?




i dont think these were in the last thread
 
Mr. mchammer187, what you've just posted is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 
Originally posted by: ThePresence
Mr. mchammer187, what you've just posted is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Click to expand...
^ "A simple no would've done just fine."

guy: would you like to come over to my place for some pizza and to f*ck?
girl: (repulsed) eww, no!
guy: what?! you dont like pizza??!?

guy: do you want to dance?
girl: (repulsed) no!
guy: no, you misunderstood me. i said you look fat in those pants.

does this rag smell like cloroform to you?

my love for you is like diarrhea, i just cant hold it in.
 
1)
Boy: "Did it hurt?"
Girl: "Did what hurt?"
Boy: "When god dropped you out of heaven?"

2)
Boy: "Do you wash your pants in windex?"
Girl: "No"
Boy: "That's odd because I can see myself in them"

3)
Walk up to girl and get her attention. Dip your finger in your beer and tap her on the shoulder. Then say, "Want to go bck to my place and get out of these wet clothes?"

That's all for now.
 
Originally posted by: mchammer187
all of these are stolen from somewhere or other



1) Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

2) Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

Hi, I'm necrofiliac, how good are you at playing dead?




i dont think these were in the last thread
Click to expand...

(1) was good. VERY clever. Seems like some people missed the joke though 🙁
(2) good way to get yourself killed, but I like it.
 
Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.

It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?
 
Originally posted by: BigJ
Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.

It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?
Click to expand...

I have to say, those are the 5 WORST pickup lines I have ever heard in my life.
 
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Originally posted by: BigJ
Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.

It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?
Click to expand...

I have to say, those are the 5 WORST pickup lines I have ever heard in my life.
Click to expand...

as opposed to nice shoes, wanna fark? 😕
 
Originally posted by: ThePresence
Mr. mchammer187, what you've just posted is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Click to expand...



I'm surprised nobody picked up this humor?

"ThePresence" isn't lashing out, he's just reciting the ending speech in the movie "Billy Madeson". I love that speech, too funny! 😀
 
Originally posted by: ConwayJim
I'm surprised nobody picked up this humor?

"ThePresence" isn't lashing out, he's just reciting the ending speech in the movie "Billy Madeson". I love that speech, too funny! 😀
Click to expand...
go 2 posts down below thepresence's post. read the 1st thing i say. hell, i even quoted.
 
Originally posted by: virtualgames0
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Originally posted by: BigJ
Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.

It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?
Click to expand...

I have to say, those are the 5 WORST pickup lines I have ever heard in my life.
Click to expand...

as opposed to nice shoes, wanna fark? 😕
Click to expand...

Actually, I have a friend who used that once. It worked. Apparantly she thought he was funny or something.
 
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
2)
Boy: "Do you wash your pants in windex?"
Girl: "No"
Boy: "That's odd because I can see myself in them"
Click to expand...

Man that would mean something quite different in the UK 🙂

 
Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth
Originally posted by: virtualgames0
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Originally posted by: BigJ
Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.

It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?
Click to expand...

I have to say, those are the 5 WORST pickup lines I have ever heard in my life.
Click to expand...

as opposed to nice shoes, wanna fark? 😕
Click to expand...

Actually, I have a friend who used that once. It worked. Apparantly she thought he was funny or something.
Click to expand...

NICE
 
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