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moment of clarity

C

Chiropteran

Diamond Member
I'm not sure why exactly, but right now at this very moment I seem to able to clearly see what a huge waste of time life is.

I don't have any reason to be depressed- sure I have problems, but nothing major, I just got a raise, I took care of my taxes, etc. Yet right now I kinda feel like "whats the point?" I make a little more money, I pay a little more on gas, rent goes up, it all evens out.

I think it's probably just me. Normal people are happy with having an ultimately pointless life, and can enjoy the things which I can't. I'm sure there is some kind of drug that would make me feel like "normal" people, but if I have to take a drug to be happy then I am not really living life as myself.

I can't narrow it down to one thing. On the one hand I have been a little sick of work lately, but it's not work. It's a Friday evening and if anything I should be happy about the weekend- instead all I can do is hope that Monday comes quickly.

I don't have a lot of friends, and I don't have a gf, but that is mostly by choice. I pretty much ruined my chances with the last girl I was with when I decided to sit in my room all weekend and leave my cellphone in the car. Friends asked me to go out drinking the other night, but I didn't. Just seems like a waste of money I don't have. Yeah, I could hang out with them and not drink, that sounds like a ton of fun- no thanks.

I have felt like this before, and I know it goes away. It's just that I am starting to think that this is real, and it's when I feel good about life that the feeling is fake.

At this point I'm wondering if it might be best to just erase this, I'm sure many responses will be that I should have, but I'm curious if I'm really the only one who has these "moods". I'm not here for sympathy, like I said I know the mood will pass in time.
 
Trust me, you are not the only person to have these moments. I think everyone goes through times when they feel that aspects of their life or their life in general suck. If you feel that this is a problem, maybe you need to talk to someone, a real someone, about what's going on. You can't handle everything on your own and you shouldn't try to. I wish I could be more help and I really hope that things improve in your life.


: ) Amanda
 
Why don't you use your creativity to invent something? Or get some balls go out and start your own company? Go get more edumucation. It's good that you seem like you don't like being complacent, but bitching about it does nothing. ACTION.
 
Originally posted by: Chiropteran
I'm not sure why exactly, but right now at this very moment I seem to able to clearly see what a huge waste of time life is.

I don't have any reason to be depressed- sure I have problems, but nothing major, I just got a raise, I took care of my taxes, etc. Yet right now I kinda feel like "whats the point?" I make a little more money, I pay a little more on gas, rent goes up, it all evens out.

I think it's probably just me. Normal people are happy with having an ultimately pointless life, and can enjoy the things which I can't. I'm sure there is some kind of drug that would make me feel like "normal" people, but if I have to take a drug to be happy then I am not really living life as myself.

I can't narrow it down to one thing. On the one hand I have been a little sick of work lately, but it's not work. It's a Friday evening and if anything I should be happy about the weekend- instead all I can do is hope that Monday comes quickly.

I don't have a lot of friends, and I don't have a gf, but that is mostly by choice. I pretty much ruined my chances with the last girl I was with when I decided to sit in my room all weekend and leave my cellphone in the car. Friends asked me to go out drinking the other night, but I didn't. Just seems like a waste of money I don't have. Yeah, I could hang out with them and not drink, that sounds like a ton of fun- no thanks.

I have felt like this before, and I know it goes away. It's just that I am starting to think that this is real, and it's when I feel good about life that the feeling is fake.

At this point I'm wondering if it might be best to just erase this, I'm sure many responses will be that I should have, but I'm curious if I'm really the only one who has these "moods". I'm not here for sympathy, like I said I know the mood will pass in time.
Click to expand...

I built a career out of feeling like that.
I just gave it up a few years ago. It was literally in the way I thought about things.

 
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fvcking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fvcking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit- crushing game shows, stuffing fvcking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fvcked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
 
You are depressed. It's hard to get out of it, but you might grow out of it. A lot of people in their teens/early 20's have that problem. I did.
 
I'm not a physchologist, but it sounds like a lot of your issues deal around money, or lack of. Also, sounds like you don't have any goals. maybe you need to start there.
 
Originally posted by: Chiropteran
I'm not sure why exactly, but right now at this very moment I seem to able to clearly see what a huge waste of time life is.

I don't have any reason to be depressed- sure I have problems, but nothing major, I just got a raise, I took care of my taxes, etc. Yet right now I kinda feel like "whats the point?" I make a little more money, I pay a little more on gas, rent goes up, it all evens out.

I think it's probably just me. Normal people are happy with having an ultimately pointless life, and can enjoy the things which I can't. I'm sure there is some kind of drug that would make me feel like "normal" people, but if I have to take a drug to be happy then I am not really living life as myself.

I can't narrow it down to one thing. On the one hand I have been a little sick of work lately, but it's not work. It's a Friday evening and if anything I should be happy about the weekend- instead all I can do is hope that Monday comes quickly.

I don't have a lot of friends, and I don't have a gf, but that is mostly by choice. I pretty much ruined my chances with the last girl I was with when I decided to sit in my room all weekend and leave my cellphone in the car. Friends asked me to go out drinking the other night, but I didn't. Just seems like a waste of money I don't have. Yeah, I could hang out with them and not drink, that sounds like a ton of fun- no thanks.

I have felt like this before, and I know it goes away. It's just that I am starting to think that this is real, and it's when I feel good about life that the feeling is fake.

At this point I'm wondering if it might be best to just erase this, I'm sure many responses will be that I should have, but I'm curious if I'm really the only one who has these "moods". I'm not here for sympathy, like I said I know the mood will pass in time.
Click to expand...

It's pretty "normal". It's called enniu (sp?)

When this hits me, and it sticks - time for a change. Life it too short. I usually took long trips like drove all around the US camping out and checking out the country, ended up in Mexico. Another time I quit and went to Europe. Ended up living and working there for about 8 yrs.

Seriously, If it happened to me now (and I didn't have a kid- I enjoy the kid soo much I ain't gonna get ennui) I'd go to Palau, that place where the curent Survivors is. THere are 200 islands, only 8 are inhabited. Last night while waiting to fall asleep, I was thinking about what supplies I would take with me.

Good Luck man
 
Thanks for all the responses.

I don't think it's money.

I think I know what it is mostly, but it's like a smoker who knows smoking is bad but can't/won't quit.

I know what to do to make myself "better", but I can't make myself do it.


I can go on as I am. In four years I might be in a slightly better situation, just because I have paid off my car and reduced my insurance. I feel like I am trapped until then, though.
 
Life is a b1tch and then you die or marry one. Either way it gets worse.

I prescribe heavy drinking for you.

:beer:
 
Your nihilistic journey begins here. Next, you'll have fits of murderous rage; you'll act on that rage. Then, we'll see you on Dateline and you'll spill your heart out to Diane Sawyer.

-geoff
 
Make time to stop and smell the
rose.gif
s
 
Originally posted by: Chiropteran
Thanks for all the responses.

I don't think it's money.

I think I know what it is mostly, but it's like a smoker who knows smoking is bad but can't/won't quit.

I know what to do to make myself "better", but I can't make myself do it.


I can go on as I am. In four years I might be in a slightly better situation, just because I have paid off my car and reduced my insurance. I feel like I am trapped until then, though.
Click to expand...

Free Will's a bitch
 
A hobby. Sounds like you need a hobby! Get something you're excited about doing, something that only you like to do. It's not selfish to have a hobby, it's just selfish if you spend all day every day on it and let it interfere with your life. Get yourself involved in something. I know how you're feeling; I wasted my time in high school and my first year of college. It wasn't very fufilling. Now I'm working on my first book right now and getting into diy audio equipment. It's a lot of work, but it does feel good to actually be doing something fun and useful with my life.
 
wow.

to the OP: i have been feeling the same way as well. sometimes i get that feeling when i don't get enough sleep (i'm 20 as well)

to the repliers (if that is a word): wow, that's all deep insight

 
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