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Moby resolves to temporarily renounce veganism to kill and eat the stray cat who bit him

J

j0lly

Platinum Member
Original Story:

Moby attacked by cat

Follow up:

moby-online.com



<< I'm fine, thanks.
Well, my finger looks like an over-stuffed hot dog and I'm now pretty intimately acquainted with the bowels of the Beth-Israel emergency ward and I'm swimming in antibiotics and I've been x-rayed a bunch of times (without lead shield, thank you very much, so if I was shooting blanks before now I'm definitely riding on the sterility train...wooh hoo), but I'm ok. All from a stupid cat bite.
Isn't that just absurd?
I understand why people are hesitant to get treated for a cat bite. You feel really silly receiving intravenous anti-biotics and having doctors rushing around you when all that you've got are a couple of tiny holes from where some foul-mouthed cat bit you.
Ugh. What a bunch of unnecessary drama. And I've decided that although I'm still a vegan I will definitely eat this cat if I see it again. Well, maybe I won't, but I'll definitely give it a very stern talking to.
The height of futility: trying to verbally reprimand a cat that lives in a dumpster.
It's the equivalent of remonstrating with a goldfish.
The cat won. It has proven it's superiority to me and my race. All hail that foul-mouthed feline. I will henceforth wear steel reinforced gloves whenever petting dumpster cats.
And, seriously, this is one of those moments when I'm really grateful for western medicine. Without our good (and often overused) friend the humble antibiotic I'd be in a lot of trouble.
I appreciate and practice homeopathy and traditional medicines, but when you've got feline dumpster bacteria running around your bloodstream you suddenly become very fond of good old western medicine and its arsenal of antibiotics.
Thanks for your concern everybody,
-Moby >>



 
I almost demounced vegetarianism a few years back when one of our cats, Billy, urinated on my book bag!!! :| I actually dangled him over a pot of boiling water (in jest of course) and threatened to make him into soup. He was nonchalant about the whole thing 😉
 
That self-proclaimed "straight-edge" fruitcake, serves the bloke right!
He sounds like a little girl, or perhaps similar to a certain "alternative loving" fellow that frequents these boards.
 
One of our whacked out cats used to actually climb up onto the toaster and pee into it. WTF is that all about? Not like she just peed on the counter....no, she actually climbed up and squatted on top of a toaster, for chrissake. Glad that damn thing is gone. (No, I didn't kill her; she just disappeared one day)


Edit: Oh yeah, I'm gonna go with questioning why the hell he's petting dumpster cats in the first place...
 


<< I am waiting for the follow-up story where Moby learns about the beauty of hand washing. >>



seriously. a little hydrogen peroxide and some soap will take care of most bites
 
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