Mobile phones for kids?

[blackdogdeek]

I'd question what kind of place I'm sending my 7 year old daughter that basically leaves her on the curb and/or the parents of the other kids that would possibly leave her too.

in the case of #2, I would assume this is a parent of another kid in gymnastics? If so, wouldn't your daughter realize it was OK when her friend said "there's my dad... lets get in the car"?

I have no problem with parents giving their kids a cell if it makes everyone feel more comfortable (especially the kids). You do whatever it takes to make them safe and FEEL safe. I personally can not think of a single situation my kids have ever been (or will be in in the near future) in where they would have needed a cell.

for #1, i'll give you that it's not ideal that the instructors leave, though i doubt the last few parents would leave with my daughter still there. but still i ask is it really that bad that my daughter can use her cell phone to call us in this instance? do we immediately deserve the helicopter parenting tag some people affix to us?

for #2, yes my daughter would probably realize the man was her friend's father but is it really that big a deal to call her and let her know the plans have changed? it would be interesting to find out what would have happened if we hadn't called her. would she have questioned anything or trusted her friend.

 

[Homerboy]

And it is one of those presently unknown situations in the future that will make you wish you had thought differently today.

MotionMan

No. My kids are at the ages where they need to be around responsible adults at all times. I wouldn't leave my 7yr old somewhere where there wasn't an adult that I trusted my child's safety and well being with. School. Afterschool. Friends house. Etc etc. At 7 and 9 they are not wondering around the neighborhood on their own or left places unattended.

 

[Homerboy]

for #1, i'll give you that it's not ideal that the instructors leave, though i doubt the last few parents would leave with my daughter still there. but still i ask is it really that bad that my daughter can use her cell phone to call us in this instance? do we immediately deserve the helicopter parenting tag some people affix to us?

for #2, yes my daughter would probably realize the man was her friend's father but is it really that big a deal to call her and let her know the plans have changed? it would be interesting to find out what would have happened if we hadn't called her. would she have questioned anything or trusted her friend.

Please don't take my comments as offensive or "questioning your parenting" In fact I explicitly pointed out that if that is what makes YOU and your (most importantly) daughter comfortable, than that is the right route for you guys. ENTIRELY. I wouldn't label you as a helicopter parent. In fact the ONLY time I have seen that phrased used is by people without kids themselves, whom I feel have no leg to stand on when it comes to debating the topic.

 

[2Xtreme21]

And it is one of those presently unknown situations in the future that will make you wish you had thought differently today.

MotionMan

And that presently unknown situation that will occur in the future never occurred to any child before cell phones were invented?

 

[MotionMan]

No. My kids are at the ages where they need to be around responsible adults at all times. I wouldn't leave my 7yr old somewhere where there wasn't an adult that I trusted my child's safety and well being with. School. Afterschool. Friends house. Etc etc. At 7 and 9 they are not wondering around the neighborhood on their own or left places unattended.

Unless one of those unknown things that you have not thought of happen, of course.

I am not saying you should give your kids mobile phones. I just think that people should not argue against others giving their kids mobile phones. I mean, why does it matter to you if my kids have mobile phones?

MotionMan

 

[highland145]

Well, me and my daughter's mother are separated, and my mother does a lot with her. My ex is unreliable, and my mother is old and forgetful. If I'm going to be somewhere, I'm there, but I can't count on the other 2.

That makes more sense, now.

Told my 9 year old that he could have one when he paid for it. Different method of teaching responsibility. Not saying wifey won't override me at some point but no sense in letting him know that. 24hrs a day I know where he is so he doesn't need one. (School/grandparents/home/out with us)

No to the op but perspectives change with the situations.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Please don't take my comments as offensive or "questioning your parenting" In fact I explicitly pointed out that if that is what makes YOU and your (most importantly) daughter comfortable, than that is the right route for you guys. ENTIRELY. I wouldn't label you as a helicopter parent. In fact the ONLY time I have seen that phrased used is by people without kids themselves, whom I feel have no leg to stand on when it comes to debating the topic.

i knew you meant no offense and were NOT questioning my parenting. my helicopter parenting question was directed at other people in the thread.

:beer;

 

[MotionMan]

And that presently unknown situation that will occur in the future never occurred to any child before cell phones were invented?

They did occur, and, I would guess, it would have been nice to have a mobile phone at that time.

There are lots of things we did not have as kids and we still survived. How is that an argument against giving our kids a newly developed safety device?

MotionMan

 

[lxskllr]

.....and perhaps a way for parents to give responsibility to the kids rather than being more responsible themselves.

Kids absolutely should have responsibility. Having adults do everything for kids is why we have retarded threads here asking how to wash clothes, and open tin cans. My daughter(12) is probably more capable at life than the most 16 year old girls. She's absolutely more capable than anyone in her age group. I've always encouraged her to do things herself, and she's always had access to the tools to make things happen. You need to give kids the opportunity to fail, and through failure, they learn.

 

[Homerboy]

i knew you meant no offense and were NOT questioning my parenting. my helicopter parenting question was directed at other people in the thread.

:beer;

:thumbsup:

Kids absolutely should have responsibility. Having adults do everything for kids is why we have retarded threads here asking how to wash clothes, and open tin cans. My daughter(12) is probably more capable at life than the most 16 year old girls. She's absolutely more capable than anyone in her age group. I've always encouraged her to do things herself, and she's always had access to the tools to make things happen. You need to give kids the opportunity to fail, and through failure, they learn.

Agreed 100%. But you're stretching the topic here (a bit) I think. We're talking about cell phones. For 7yr olds. 🙂

 

[lxskllr]

:thumbsup:



Agreed 100%. But you're stretching the topic here (a bit) I think. We're talking about cell phones. For 7yr olds. 🙂

I was just riffing off a comment, but the point remains. Cell phones are cheap. You can get one from BigLots for $35, and it comes with $30 of air time. That's a cheap tool that can help teach responsible phone usage, and put power in the hands of the child. If you have to ask for help from somebody, whether it's to borrow a pen, use a phone, or get a ride somewhere, you've failed for the day. They may be small failures, but they're failures none the less.

Everybody's goal when they leave the house should be to stay out of everyone's way, take nothing from the world, and if possible give something /to/ the world. It doesn't have to be big, or important, but you're existence that day should be a net positive.

Perhaps it's a bit too philosophical for the discussion at hand, but it ties together in my mind :^)

 

[Homerboy]

I was just riffing off a comment, but the point remains. Cell phones are cheap. You can get one from BigLots for $35, and it comes with $30 of air time. That's a cheap tool that can help teach responsible phone usage, and put power in the hands of the child. If you have to ask for help from somebody, whether it's to borrow a pen, use a phone, or get a ride somewhere, you've failed for the day. They may be small failures, but they're failures none the less.

Everybody's goal when they leave the house should be to stay out of everyone's way, take nothing from the world, and if possible give something /to/ the world. It doesn't have to be big, or important, but you're existence that day should be a net positive.

Perhaps it's a bit too philosophical for the discussion at hand, but it ties together in my mind :^)

I can see the logical connection you are making, and agree with it.... for the most part. I dont think asking for a pen or for nominal "help" is a "failure". We're all here (or should be here) to help each other and to expect help when we need it in return. Nobody is or should ever think they should be 100% self-reliant. Though I don't think that is your point either... more like TRY to be self-reliant 100% of the time.

The single biggest thing I try to teach my children is to be cognizant of the people and the world around them. To be responsible. To act how they would like others to act around/towards them. The Golden Rule ALWAYS applies.

Now we're way off topic. 🙂

 

[lxskllr]

I can see the logical connection you are making, and agree with it.... for the most part. I dont think asking for a pen or for nominal "help" is a "failure". We're all here (or should be here) to help each other and to expect help when we need it in return. Nobody is or should ever think they should be 100% self-reliant. Though I don't think that is your point either... more like TRY to be self-reliant 100% of the time.

The single biggest thing I try to teach my children is to be cognizant of the people and the world around them. To be responsible. To act how they would like others to act around/towards them. The Golden Rule ALWAYS applies.

Now we're way off topic. 🙂

Exactly. Nobody's perfect, but the attempt should at least be made :^)

 

[Scarpozzi]

Kids absolutely should have responsibility. Having adults do everything for kids is why we have retarded threads here asking how to wash clothes, and open tin cans. My daughter(12) is probably more capable at life than the most 16 year old girls. She's absolutely more capable than anyone in her age group. I've always encouraged her to do things herself, and she's always had access to the tools to make things happen. You need to give kids the opportunity to fail, and through failure, they learn.

There's a difference between knowing how to care for yourself and having access to a phone that's capable of texts/calls between anyone... The responsibility I was speaking of is the responsibility of being there to pickup your kids...knowing they're being properly cared for...by the school/school bus/daycare center,etc. Everyone has jobs these days and kids are definitely more and more independent. I just think there should be a little more accountability/responsibility on the parent's side than just a cellphone bill...that's all.

I'm not a parent yet, so take my opinions very lightly. I've not walked in those shoes and can totally understand if kids are smart enough/responsible enough to carry a cellphone...it's a huge YMMV that changes from year to year. (increase age doesn't necessary make them more responsible either...I would think it's more difficult than that to judge)

 

[lxskllr]

I'm not a parent yet, so take my opinions very lightly. I've not walked in those shoes and can totally understand if kids are smart enough/responsible enough to carry a cellphone...it's a huge YMMV that changes from year to year. (increase age doesn't necessary make them more responsible either...I would think it's more difficult than that to judge)

That's absolutely true, and some never grow up. You know what's been the biggest problem with the cell? Her mother using it. I normally wouldn't care, but with a prepaid phone, that can rack up expenses quick. My daughter went on a texting spree when she first got the phone, but we fixed that quickly. Her mother OTOH... Well that's been a problem. It's easy correcting a child, but an adult is a whole different game :^S

 

[Paladin3]

I haven't read all the way through this thread, but I have to add this: the worst things you can do in case of an emergency at your child's school is to go to the campus trying to find your child before the emergency has been dealt with. All parents do is clog up the school and make it harder for emergency workers and police to deal with any situation.

So if you are thinking about getting your kids a phone just so they can call when there is an emergency at school...don't.

I was a school librarian and during emergencies my job was to clear and secure the library, then man the front gate of the school and keep it clear of hysterical parents so police and emergency responders could get in. The last thing they need is extra vehicles clogging up access and parents running around campus hindering any evacuation. Even worse are the students who refuse to listen to emergency instructions because they were told to stop and call mom first.

 

[Scarpozzi]

That's absolutely true, and some never grow up. You know what's been the biggest problem with the cell? Her mother using it. I normally wouldn't care, but with a prepaid phone, that can rack up expenses quick. My daughter went on a texting spree when she first got the phone, but we fixed that quickly. Her mother OTOH... Well that's been a problem. It's easy correcting a child, but an adult is a whole different game :^S

Yeah....spanking some adults doesn't always correct the offending action...it only encourages it. 😉

 

[waggy]

great thread. actually a decent debate without the rudeness or people trolling.

anyway i talked with my wife about it. we might get that phone for her. of course im going to use it as a incentive to keep her grades high (she is nearly straight A's. though her science slipped to a B+ grr) and her room clean. the Allowance was not always cutting it and i really don't want to take away gymnastics.

I think a phone that is locked to 4 numbers +911 would be ideal. that way its me, her mother, her aunt and emergency contact. that phone does not do text or internet. i will also make sure 3rd party billing is blocked.

She is 8. but she is a very mature 8 yrs old. As others said my goal is to make sure she is mature enough and has the tools needed to be a success in life. She already knows how to do laundry and make little meals. She knows the value of money (have a mock checking account set up for her).

now..my son on the other hand..that boy is going to drive me nuts.

 

[vi edit]

"She is 8. but she is a very mature 8 yrs old. As others said my goal is to make sure she is mature enough and has the tools needed to be a success in life."

I've got pretty much the same goal for my kids, I just think there's different ways to get there. I don't think a cell phone for an 8 year old is a tool that provides that. I think a bit of detachment helps foster some independence and also reinforces you to maybe rethink some of your choices and not get yourself into situations you can't phone home and fix.

But I'm kind of a low tech guy at heart and frankly only carry a cell phone because work forces it on me and my wife needs to be able to incessantly nag via the damn thing. I don't need constant stimulation/conversation via an electronic device every waking moment of my life.

My wife on the other hand is the polar opposite. She needs a TV on non-stop, is plastered to facebook or solitare on the laptop most of her free time, and on the phone talking to *someone* almost every minute she's alone in the car. And there's millions of other people just like her.

Me on the other hand, I'm cool just sitting down and watching birds at the bird feeder to doing something unelectronic for entertainment. And I can just sit down and people watch for entertainment instead of needing something else to keep me occupied. I think that ability to find your own type of entertainment/introspection/non-electronic reliance is a dying phase. And I try everything in my power to balance out my kids life with it. I'm constantly turning of the TV before dinner so we can eat as a family or encouraging coloring books or other things instead of TV for entertainment for my kid.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy video games, movies, and my "internet" life, but I try to balance that out with things that don't require batteries or a plug in.

And while I'm on the topic of electronic gadgets...I was actually kinda pissed when my wife bought a kindle because we live a 5 freaking minute drive from a library. And then when she took it on her first airplane flight she complained because it was supposed to be turned off for the first 15-20 minutes and the last 15-20 minutes. Just read a damn book.

I'm just really frustrated on how overly reliant become have become on technology and how absolutely retarded/angry they get when it isn't working/available.

 

[InflatableBuddha]

I can see the logical connection you are making, and agree with it.... for the most part. I dont think asking for a pen or for nominal "help" is a "failure". We're all here (or should be here) to help each other and to expect help when we need it in return. Nobody is or should ever think they should be 100% self-reliant. Though I don't think that is your point either... more like TRY to be self-reliant 100% of the time.

The single biggest thing I try to teach my children is to be cognizant of the people and the world around them. To be responsible. To act how they would like others to act around/towards them. The Golden Rule ALWAYS applies.

Now we're way off topic. 🙂

LOL...I'm going to assume he was being at least partially sarcastic. I agree with the bolded.

There's a disturbing trend towards individuality these days. Ideally it would be a nicer world if people were more willing to help out others, but you see it less and less.

Anyways, to the point at hand.

viedit - We are definitely overreliant on technology, somewhat to our detriment. I remember at a family dinner recently my cousin's young daughter (7) was asking to be excused from the table to play on her iPod touch. My parents would never have allowed that when I was growing up.

Also, I don't know if anyone's mentioned it yet, but I would be concerned about cell phone radiation exposure in young children, which could potentially have a much greater health impact than for adults.

I would hesitate to get a cell phone for a child younger than high-school age.