mistakes teach me what i am terrible at, and usually convince me not to do it anymore
i was so bad at dating that i haven't gone out for 15 years
Let me rotate the carousel & introduce you to a
new horse called "Success Island". This island exists in the middle of a pond. To get to the Island of Success, you have to walk across stepping stones in the water. The left stepping stones are failure & the right stepping stones are success. BOTH steps must be taken in order to reach the Island of Success! The only way to fail is to quit! It's very important to realize that
failing is not the same as
failure. When we take a failing step, we have two choices: we can either become embittered & quit, or we can learn from it & become empowered & proceed anyway!
This can be
very difficult to do because our inner critic will beat us up emotionally. It will listen to the naysayers in our lives & even generate its own stream of nonsense & try to convince us to quit! I learned this the hard way when I began to learn how to cook, because I didn't even know how to boil water when I first started! (my wife still teases me about that to this day lol) But with cooking, sometime we have to burn stuff & forget ingredients in order to learn how to improve & do better! Many of my best recipes are the result of years of trying over & over again to "get it right". This process of sticking with stuff has a very specific name, called "grit", which is the choice to be persistent over time, even in the face of physical, emotional, and mental barriers:
Arnold had a great Facebook post about how to deal with negativity a couple days ago. The reality is that things rarely go to plan & we're all pretty bad at stuff when we first get started, but the way to get better is by sticking with it relentlessly! This isn't a superpower or magic or a character trait; it's simply a personal choice not to quit when the pressure is on to do so! I always thought that failing = failure, and being a highly emotional person, the internal urge to quite was
suffocating! But as it turns out, that's just a temporary illusion from our brain to prevent us from expending additional energy on it, because our brain is an energy manager & wants to converse energy! We can simply make the choice to go back & try, try again! Not easy, but worth it! And that's the secret to mastering stuff...just keep trying & continue to plug away at it!
