To dramkyd,
As you are finding out, you will have to enter the strange world of overclocking just to get normal clocking. And no matter what you do, you are gasp going to have to do some reading up on the subject. And you should download some free programs to output statistic and benchmarks---some freebies are memtest86, cpu-z, everest 2.2---and I disagree with Magnus, you may want the more desirable IT timings, but you need to sneak up on things.---and back off when memtest86 shows errors.
The other thing you will need are your spd specified ram settings, your mobo manual, you may need to update your bios, and you should google overclocking forums. And those forums will often give you basic tutorials on how to start and get you up to speed on issues. But you will almost certainly have to set your ram timings by taking your ram off auto and then try basicially playing around with settings. But you already violated the first rule---don't mix ram.
And to directly answer your question---cpu-z should report your current command rate.