I'm sending a letter to McDonald's. This ad campaign is possibly the most terrible thing I've ever seen in my life. I think a photo album of gunshot wounds to the face would be more palatable than these fecal infested ads.
Dear Sir/Madam:
I am not a letter writer or a complainer, but your recent ad campaign has crossed the line. It makes any rational individual have an unnatural hatred of your company, its products, and most especially the individuals in the commercials. There have been some incredibly low-brow and extremely annoying ad campaigns in the past few years, but yours is the most egregious violator I've ever seen. Not only are the ads devoid of any type of logical human reaction to food, but the ad characters are mentally ill. Do you honestly expect the average consumer to believe that people care that much about your Chicken Selects? Not to ramble here, but what is with the nomenclature of this product? Chicken Selects? Is that supposed to imply they are of higher quality than normal chicken, or does Ronald McDonald himself inspect them? Is this campaign an attempt to fool the consumer into believing that you don't use substandard, genetically modified chicken? I think that is one avenue that makes the commercial completely unpalatable, but that's not my only complaint.
You are using a variety of characters to sell the idea that Chicken Selects should be "defended." First of all, what kind of idea is that sending to our children? We have to protect our food now because some ass will steal it? Aren't your restaurants secure and safe? Secondly, most of your characters can't even be considered to be some hyperbolic caricature because they act like complete dumbfvcks. You are using a white female, who comes off as a hippie pot-smoking artisan, but has a penchant for acting like some type of street gangster. Who comes up with this sh!t? Do you pay a bunch of Community College undergrads to do your ad campaigns. What, exactly, is this woman? I just want you to tell me what exactly she is supposed to be. I don't know if your cognizant of Saturday Night Live's "Pat" skits, but I get the feeling that the same gender schizophrenia used there is being applied to this lady, but is applicable to her entire character instead of just gender.
I seriously did not believe that your "Ba ba ba ba ba I'm loving it" campaign could ever be topped in complete dumbfvckery, but this one has managed to beat it exponentially. Do you realize the number of people who are becoming seriously mentally ill after watching your commercial? Not only are people becoming suicidal because they've lost hope in humanity, but many people are having murderous thoughts. Your ad campaign is a complete disaster and yet another black mark on your fledgling company. As if getting sued for people getting fat wasn't enough -- but you've managed to make people mentally ill by watching your commercials. I'd like to think that you will take my comments into consideration and will fire your ad agency, but I don't necessarily believe in divine miracles. I cannot fathom how you people sleep at night after creating such a disastrous pox upon society. May God have mercy on your souls because I certainly do not.