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Mayo on hamburgers

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Mayo on burgers is mandatory, and awesome. The formula for the best burger is:

mayo +
lettuce +
tomato +
pickles +
slaw +
chili =
orgasmic burger
 
Don't forget to add some mushrooms soaked and cooked in soy sauce.

But just plain mayo and nothing mixed in it is nasty and ketchup / mustard is always a default and everything else is a bonus.
 
dmoney1980 said:
love mayo on the burger! Here is my perfect burger:

bottom bun
mayo
tomato
beef patty
cheese
lettuce
crunchy onion straws
sweet bbq sauce
top bun

drools

EDIT: am I the only one that likes to toast the burger buns too?
Click to expand...

Nope...I prefer my burger and hot dog buns toasted on the grill.
 
I put Miraclewhip on my burgers, but Miraclewhip is my go-to condiment. Today I just had two mashed potato & Doritos sandwiches with sheepherder's bread, and smothered one slice with Miraclewhip. Delicious.

Mayo is disgusting.
 
My aunt used to make a wicked chocolate cake using mayo. She stopped making it because she told us mayo was in it and her daughter started to complain all the time that it was disgusting. Funny thing is she was using that recipe for 20 years and no one ever complained.
 
Ashenor said:
I have one Hardee's (was a Burger King) by me in Michigan, but there are not many here.

The Burger Kings are all dropping like flies around me though, like 5 have been closed i think the closest one is about 15 miles, where there is 30+ McDonalds and Wendys inbetween.
Click to expand...

Not sure if it was posted elsewhere, but there are several in the UP.



Personally I prefer BBQ sauce and an untoasted bun if I'm making one, otherwise I take whatever comes on it.
 
Last edited:
ElFenix said:
i just use a tomato knife for tomatoes.
Click to expand...

Yeah I have to get one of those. I've never tried one but I hear they work well. It's just I'm afraid Alton Brown will stalk me and berate me for having a uni-tasker. And I'm still going to want to keep my knives sharp for other stuff all the time anyway.

altonbrownfn2011_490x225.png
 
Childs said:
My aunt used to make a wicked chocolate cake using mayo. She stopped making it because she told us mayo was in it and her daughter started to complain all the time that it was disgusting. Funny thing is she was using that recipe for 20 years and no one ever complained.
Click to expand...

Wow. I remember the chocolate mayo cake. My mom made them too. The BEST tasting chocolate cake. You would never know mayo was in it. The mayo gave it a tang yummy taste and also made it the moistiest chocolate cake imagined.
Shoot... Now I'm going to have to google the recipe and make one.

As far as mayo on burgers? Yeck!
Milk and hb meat does not go together.
Mayo on a burger is like soaking a burger in milk. Nasty.

There should be a law...

Oh I guess there was, almost. Obama tried to pass the burger/mayo public option but republicans, naturally, blocked it.
So that is why you will get mayo on your burger, like it or not. 😀
 
Ketchup is mostly vinegar and HFCS rather than tomatoes. The only real condiment is mustard, but I get sick of mustard. I do get mayo on my burgers because they generally fry most of the fat out of the meat when well done.

Mayo + cheese + vegetables, raw onion, etc + burger = yum

Some of you guys are crazy with the hatred for hot lettuce, and the love of BBQ sauce and ketcup - both loaded with HFCS. Maybe you guys have the thing where once you start downing HFCS like there is no tommorow you crave more random things with HFCS like 'honey' mustard instead of regular mustard and BBQ sauce and ketchup instead of mayo and ketchup.
 
dainthomas said:
Ketchup on any kind of meat when you're older than 9 is mega-fail.
Click to expand...

Yea kids crave sugar, guess some people never grow out of it with the BBQ sauce and ketchup on their burgers. Might as well ask for maple syrup instead of mayo for their refined 9 year old palette.
 
OverVolt said:
Ketchup is mostly vinegar and HFCS rather than tomatoes. The only real condiment is mustard, but I get sick of mustard. I do get mayo on my burgers because they generally fry most of the fat out of the meat when well done.

Mayo + cheese + vegetables, raw onion, etc + burger = yum

Some of you guys are crazy with the hatred for hot lettuce, and the love of BBQ sauce and ketcup - both loaded with HFCS. Maybe you guys have the thing where once you start downing HFCS like there is no tommorow you crave more random things with HFCS like 'honey' mustard instead of regular mustard and BBQ sauce and ketchup instead of mayo and ketchup.
Click to expand...
Ketchup is mostly tomato paste or tomato concentrate...
 
Ns1 said:
The mayo acts as a protective layer, preventing hamburger grease from oversaturating your bun and turning it into a soggy mess.
Click to expand...

This ... as spoken by the master of all practical food knowledge, Alton Brown. Mayo creates a layer of fat that repels the water from the other condiments (ketchup/catsup and mustard) and vegetables to ensure that the bun stays intact.

You naysayers can state that you're fine with a soggy bun, but you're lying out of your pure hatred for mayonnaise. Fuck you if you think Miracle Whip even rates in this discussion okay...just, fuck you. 😉

As an alternative, it is acceptable to use butter (real, manly fucking butter, not that fake vegetable oil/one moecular bond away from plastic shit, AKA margarine) or bacon grease (if you have hair on your balls and your chest, this is the only TRUE option discussed today) as your "fat layer substitute" to keep your bun from breaking down prematurely. Naturally anyone who gives a damn about a burger will toast the inward facing portion of the bun and then slather with the fat layer of their choosing (bacon grease is mine, especially on a bacon cheeseburger).

Bunch of rookie bitches.... :colbert: 😀
 
sportage said:
Wow. I remember the chocolate mayo cake. My mom made them too. The BEST tasting chocolate cake. You would never know mayo was in it. The mayo gave it a tang yummy taste and also made it the moistiest chocolate cake imagined.
Shoot... Now I'm going to have to google the recipe and make one.

As far as mayo on burgers? Yeck!
Milk and hb meat does not go together.
Mayo on a burger is like soaking a burger in milk. Nasty.

There should be a law...

Oh I guess there was, almost. Obama tried to pass the burger/mayo public option but republicans, naturally, blocked it.
So that is why you will get mayo on your burger, like it or not. 😀
Click to expand...


WTF???!!! How do you draw a conclusion that includes milk and mayo when mayonnaise contains almost exclusively oils and fats (typically from egg yolk)?!

So, do you even have hair on your chest yet young man? I think you already answered, just want an affirmative answer from you to be sure. 😎
 
A) Mayo is, in and of itself, disgusting. It is basically fat spread.
B) The only real argument for using mayo is to create a water-insoluble layer to prevent the bun from getting soggy. The problem is that if your burger is that wet the liquid has to go somewhere and putting on mayo just means it ends up on your hands, arms, elbows, shirt, or pants.
C) Mayo is probably the most caucasian condiment ever.
 
I do not notice this trend at most places to put mayo on a burger. I do notice that when you specify "No Cheese!" they always put cheese on my burger and I end up having to either send it back to get the nastiness removed or scraping it off.
 
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