Maybe Jesus Is Trying to Tell Me Something

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Dedpuhl

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
10,370
0
76
I got off work today at around noon and was walking toward my car. I look over and see a bumper sticker that says "My boss is a Jewish Carpenter." I started laughing and went on my merry way. It takes me 10 minutes to get from work to my house. In those 10 minutes, the following happened:

1. I was nearly T-boned by a new Dodge truck. He ran a red light and I was passing through the intersection. He races past me and I see a big chome plaque on his tailgate that said "JESUS."

2. A stupid woman in a Plymouth Laser nearly turned in to my car. She had a bumper sticker that said "Jesus is Lord." As I passed her, I saw she was on a cell phone. I rolled my window down, flipped her the bird, and continued home.

3. A person in a Astrovan (I think) is in front of me and slams his/her brakes. I almost ran into the person, but I stopped in time. I look at the back of the van, and there was some kind of etched on white/silver boy on his knees praying to a big cross.

I pulled into my driveway and sat in my car and thought "DAYUM." It dawned on me that Jesus wanted to kill me!! I guess he was mad that I laughed at one of his employees....

 
pyonir

pyonir

Lifer
Dec 18, 2001
40,856
321
126
where is JohnnyReb when you need him.


run to church and get on your knees to confess all your sins!! GO! why are you still reading this!! RUN!!!!
 
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docmanhattan

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2001
1,332
0
0


<< where is JohnnyReb when you need him.


run to church and get on your knees to confess all your sins!! GO! why are you still reading this!! RUN!!!! >>

JohnnyReb is one of those people that makes other Christians cringe. I just want to tell people like him, "Psst. Could you please not tell peopl you're a Christian? You're not helping"

Any group, no matter what it's for/about/whatever has it's idiots and it just sucks when they poke their heads out.
rolleye.gif
 
pyonir

pyonir

Lifer
Dec 18, 2001
40,856
321
126


<<

<< where is JohnnyReb when you need him.


run to church and get on your knees to confess all your sins!! GO! why are you still reading this!! RUN!!!! >>

JohnnyReb is one of those people that makes other Christians cringe. I just want to tell people like him, "Psst. Could you please not tell peopl you're a Christian? You're not helping"

Any group, no matter what it's for/about/whatever has it's idiots and it just sucks when they poke their heads out.
rolleye.gif
>>


whoa! easy there killer. maybe i should have included the "/sarcasm" tag on the end. ;)
 
A

Alex

Diamond Member
Oct 26, 1999
6,995
0
0


<<

<<

<< where is JohnnyReb when you need him.


run to church and get on your knees to confess all your sins!! GO! why are you still reading this!! RUN!!!! >>

JohnnyReb is one of those people that makes other Christians cringe. I just want to tell people like him, "Psst. Could you please not tell peopl you're a Christian? You're not helping"

Any group, no matter what it's for/about/whatever has it's idiots and it just sucks when they poke their heads out.
rolleye.gif
>>


whoa! easy there killer. maybe i should have included the "/sarcasm" tag on the end. ;) >>



tsc! fanatics!
rolleye.gif


jk
 
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docmanhattan

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2001
1,332
0
0


<<

<<

<< where is JohnnyReb when you need him.


run to church and get on your knees to confess all your sins!! GO! why are you still reading this!! RUN!!!! >>

JohnnyReb is one of those people that makes other Christians cringe. I just want to tell people like him, "Psst. Could you please not tell peopl you're a Christian? You're not helping"

Any group, no matter what it's for/about/whatever has it's idiots and it just sucks when they poke their heads out.
rolleye.gif
>>


whoa! easy there killer. maybe i should have included the "/sarcasm" tag on the end. ;) >>

No, seriously. Sometimes all I can do is shake my head. The same is true for people who say one thing and do another. It just doesn't help any cause.

/shrug
 
pyonir

pyonir

Lifer
Dec 18, 2001
40,856
321
126
i agree with ya Doc, just wanted to clarify that i wasn't saying that johnny was a good christian or anything...ya know. Xerox Man said it best in that other thread i think....
 
T

TheBlondOne

Golden Member
Jul 14, 2001
1,081
0
0
HA! That is hysterical! :)

It dawned on me that Jesus wanted to kill me!! I guess he was mad that I laughed at one of his employees....

You never know...the Lord works in mysterious ways. ;)

--Sarah
 
Red Dawn

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
What no links to You're a Homo? I fully expected to see at least 3 of them here.


Dedpuhl, only you can answer that question. The rest of us are just Anandtech OTers which is the last people I would ask for any opinions. Hell if we knew anything about anything we wouldn't be here in the first place.
 
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Dedpuhl

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
10,370
0
76


<< What no links to You're a Homo? I fully expected to see at least 3 of them here.


Dedpuhl, only you can answer that question. The rest of us are just Anandtech OTers which is the last people I would ask for any opinions. Hell if we knew anything about anything we wouldn't be here in the first place. >>




Hehe. I added my signature back just in case anyone thinks I am serious. I just thought it was funny when I was being bombarded by Jesus on wheels....
 
M

MoMeanMugs

Golden Member
Apr 29, 2001
1,663
2
81


<< It dawned on me that Jesus wanted to kill me!! >>



If he really wanted to, you wouldn't be home to post this thread.
 
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docmanhattan

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2001
1,332
0
0


<<

<< What no links to You're a Homo? I fully expected to see at least 3 of them here.


Dedpuhl, only you can answer that question. The rest of us are just Anandtech OTers which is the last people I would ask for any opinions. Hell if we knew anything about anything we wouldn't be here in the first place. >>




Hehe. I added my signature back just in case anyone thinks I am serious. I just thought it was funny when I was being bombarded by Jesus on wheels.... >>

Those are some interesting links in your sig. Have you read the material in the The War on Faith page? Aside from having broken links and missing graphics, it's a bit Jihad-ish sounding. The "War" on Faith? Sheesh.

And American Atheists is just funny. The "Roots of Atheism" essay/speech from 1962 is quite a work of fiction.

<< Whether or not the Bible is pornographic literature is only a side issue. Let us see what the Idealist camp features. The church teaches a contempt for earthly life and that to reach some imagined "heaven" is the main goal of life. >>

Huh? Pornographic? Whaaaa?


<< And, significantly, the church teaches that this goal can be achieved only as the reward for obedience and meekness. The church threatens the wrath of God and the torment of hell for those who dare to oppose its teaching. But Materialism liberates us, teaches us not to hope for happiness beyond the grave but to prize life on earth and strive always to improve it. Materialism restores to man his dignity and his intellectual integrity. Man is not a worm condemned to crawl in the dust, but a human being capable of mastering the forces of nature and making them serve him. >>

I must've missed the message last Sunday where I was condemned to crawl in the dust. They never went over that at Bible study?
rolleye.gif


So much for logic. The author of that essay/speech: Madalyn Murray O?Hair certainly cetainly wrote a nice piece of propoganda there.


<----- flame on! :)
 
sandorski

sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
70,849
6,386
126
LOL! Maybe Jesus wants you to buy the biggest meanest SUV available!?

Whatever you do, don't put the fish on your bumper then start sending souls to God for judgement!! :D
 
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element

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,635
0
0
Maybe the message is people who blindly follow religion are too dense to drive properly, and you should stay away from them.

...then again...maybe not

in any event thanks for the laughs I got outta this thread. :D
 
C

CStroman

Golden Member
Sep 18, 2001
1,568
0
0
Maybe they feel they don't have to be careful because they're going to heaven when they die.
 
J

Josephus

Senior member
Feb 11, 2002
205
0
0
Hey, look at it in another manner, you didn't see the symbols for Christ until after you averted these near accidents. Maybe He's just letting you know who's looking after you... :)

 
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Murphyrulez

Golden Member
Mar 24, 2001
1,890
0
0
You think that was bad... Wait until the rapture happens. All those cars and alot more will be zooming past you without any drivers!!! That day is going to suck for you unbelievers!
 
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Dedpuhl

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
10,370
0
76


<< You think that was bad... Wait until the rapture happens. All those cars and alot more will be zooming past you without any drivers!!! That day is going to suck for you unbelievers! >>




riiiiiiiiiiiiight...
 
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PrinceofWands

Lifer
May 16, 2000
13,522
0
0


<< You think that was bad... Wait until the rapture happens. All those cars and alot more will be zooming past you without any drivers!!! That day is going to suck for you unbelievers! >>




I'm currently taking up a collection so Murphyrulez can up his Prozac dosage. Come on people, dig deep and give so we can help our fellow poster, so obviously in such need. ;)
 
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d1abolic

Banned
Sep 21, 2001
2,228
1
0
I think he's trying to tell you that you should dedicate your life to the bumper sticker business because they've run out of ideas.
 
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