Kranky, you worded your problem wrong. The answer to the question that you originally posed IS 1/2.
Original question: "You are in a chat room one night and start talking to a girl you have never met. She tells you she has one sibling. What are the odds that the other child in her family is a boy?"
A = event that the person you're talking to is a girl
B = event that the sibiling is a girl
P(sibling is a boy) = 1 - P(B)
P(B|A) is the probability that the sibling is a girl, given that the speaker is a girl
P(B|A) = P(B and A)/P(A)
A and B are independent events. The sex of one child is independent of the sex of the other.
since A and B are independent, P(B and A) = P(B)*P(A)
so P(B|A) = P(B)*P(A)/P(A) = P(B)
and P(B) = 1/2 since any child will be born a girl with 1/2 probability
and P(sibling is a boy) = 1 - P(B) = 1 - 1/2 = 1/2
The answer to the question you posed is 1/2.
If, instead, you do not know the gender of the speaker, and the speaker says "At least one of us is a girl"
the probability that the sibling (not the speaker) is a girl is 2/3, or 1/3 probability that the sibling is a boy.
B = event that the sibiling is a girl
C = event that at least one of the two children is a girl
P(B|C) = probability that the sibling is a girl, given that at least one of the two is a girl
P(B|C) = P(B and C) / P(C)
Here, B and C are NOT independent, as they were in the originally stated problem.
1st column is the speaker, 2nd column is the sibling
BB
BG (B and C is true here)
GB
GG (B and C is true here)
P(B and C) = 1/2
BB
BG (C is true here)
GB (C is true here)
GG (C is true here)
P(C) = 3/4
P(B|C) = P(B and C) / P(C) = .5 / .75 = 2/3
The problem with your wording is that as soon as you specify that a certain one of the children is a girl (doesn't matter whether you say the "oldest" is a girl, or the "speaker" is a girl), you eliminate the conditional probability and the sex of the other child is an independent event with probability 1/2.