(Married Members): Attractiveness and the opposite sex? ........

[bolido2000]

Your body keeps producing hormones even if you are married. Problems arise when you don't know which "head" to listen to.

 

[Encryptic]

Glad to see most of us are honest about having wandering eyes, as long as that's all that wanders 😉.

 

[Kevin]

Originally posted by: VTrider
Okay, let's say you are happily married and very much attracted to and in love with your wife. How many of you can honestly say that you are in no way, shape or form interested in the beauty of other women? I mean we are all still human with natural feelings and impulses no matter if you are married or not, correct? Does truly being in love with someone result in total loss of attraction for others of the opposite sex? I'm just curious about this and trying to figure it all out?

I have this brother, who is happily married for almost 10 years now, couple of kids, house - everything is peachy keen. He can see a beautiful woman on TV while watching with his wife and exclaim...."Wow, she's a babe", turn to his wife and say "Honey, isn't she a babe". His wife will turn to him honestly and say "yeah, she is a babe". There is no odd feelings, no guilty conscience, no stuck foot in mouth, no evil eye, just pure honesty. The first time I saw this I have to admit I was baffled. Now how many married couples can do that sort of stuff? Is it just the fact that they are so secure with each other and in love that stuff like that is just not an issue?

I'm not married yet - in a 2yr. relationship right now. I could never get away w/saying something like that, I would be in the doghouse for sure!

(Oh yeah, feel free to PM if you want, some of you have your spouses roaming this forum also, but I would really appreciate your .02c)

-VTrider

I remember reading something about that in Dear Abby. A woman wrote complaining her husband had a wondering eye. A few weeks later, another woman wrote in saying she loved it when her husband would scope out other women. All that mattered was that he was next to her every night. She made it a game. if she saw a knockout, she'd say to him "Blonde at 3 o'clock" and he'd get all disorientated. She then told the woman she would give anything for her husband to look at another woman, but he died a few years back...

 

[ThreeLeggedGnome]

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: VTrider
Okay, let's say you are happily married and very much attracted to and in love with your wife. How many of you can honestly say that you are in no way, shape or form interested in the beauty of other women? I mean we are all still human with natural feelings and impulses no matter if you are married or not, correct? Does truly being in love with someone result in total loss of attraction for others of the opposite sex? I'm just curious about this and trying to figure it all out?

I have this brother, who is happily married for almost 10 years now, couple of kids, house - everything is peachy keen. He can see a beautiful woman on TV while watching with his wife and exclaim...."Wow, she's a babe", turn to his wife and say "Honey, isn't she a babe". His wife will turn to him honestly and say "yeah, she is a babe". There is no odd feelings, no guilty conscience, no stuck foot in mouth, no evil eye, just pure honesty. The first time I saw this I have to admit I was baffled. Now how many married couples can do that sort of stuff? Is it just the fact that they are so secure with each other and in love that stuff like that is just not an issue?

I'm not married yet - in a 2yr. relationship right now. I could never get away w/saying something like that, I would be in the doghouse for sure!

-VTrider

I've been married for almost 2 years, and yes, I can still find other women attractive (although I have to deny this in front of my wife 😉). It's just a natural feeling on my part, and I can't really stifle it. However, this does not give me any desire to cheat on my wife. Cheating is fvcked up, no matter the circumstances.

Long story short: If I see a woman I find attractive, I'll admire them from afar, so to speak. However, all women still pale in comparison to my wife. There are attractive women out there, but none of them I find more attractive than my wife.

AMEN!

 

[Cyberian]

I have a grandson older than some of the members here, and I still look.
When I stop looking. please throw dirt on me.

 

[BunLengthHotDog]

Actually, its typically my wife that points them out to me...hehe.

 

[Jzero]

Not my married, but my current gf knows guys look, myself included. She knows she's the top of the heap and I'm not going to do anything, so she doesn't freak about it.
I don't really mention it about "real" women b/c I feel weird doing it, but if she says "Let's go see 'Down With Love," I'll say "what's that?"
She says "That movie with Ewan McGregor and Renee Zellweiger..."
And I'll say "OK."
ANd she says "Really? You don't mind me dragging you to a chick flick?"
"No...Reneee Zellweiger is freakin' hot! I'd love to go!"

 

[DurocShark]

My wife is a bit insecure, so I don't blatantly look... On the other hand, it's rude and disrespectful in my mind to be so obvious.

When I'm not with her, however... 😉

I know she looks, but the fact that she's cheated on me a few times makes it a bit taboo. She knows I look, but I just don't make a big deal of it. The few times she's said anything, I make it clear it's her mind and heart I love. The body is just a bonus! 😀

 

[zbalat]

Originally posted by: eviltoon
I'm married, not dead.

Actually I'm very happily married even though I may b!tch about it a lot. My eyes wander all the time. But yup, it's my eyes that wander...not my hands.

Exactly. My wife and I will point out other attractive people to each other especially while on vacation. We have been married for 10 years she looks, I look but at the end of the day we are in the same bed together. I would be a fool to think that she has blinders on and vice versa.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Cyberian
I have a grandson older than some of the members here, and I still look.
When I stop looking. please throw dirt on me.

LOL!

Classic. 🙂

Of course married men look! It is the touching that would be the no no.

 

It depends upon your definition of "attraction". I bring this up 'cuz I remember a few months ago someone had a poll with exact question. The only problem was, his definition of "attraction" was quite different from my perception. He basically had it defined as having the desire to get into someone's pants and fantasising about it, even if one didn't act upon it.

You seem to use my understanding of the word. And in that case, I would say yes. Although I am not a man and I'm not married, but I know that as a woman even if I were married, I would find several men attractive. It wouldn't be a problem for me. I love to admire good looking people. What I won't do though is act upon it, nor would I think of that person with desire to sleep with him.

 

[Isla]

BTW, I was driving the other day and saw an AWESOME looking younger man riding a bicycle without his shirt on.

In my head, I thought, "THANK YOU!!!!"

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes we look, too.

 

[Stark]

I'm not sure if my wife checks these forums or not, but I'll say "of course I don't (still find other women attractive)" just to be on the safe side.

😛

 

[bunker]

I still look, she knows I do. As long as I say something along the lines of, "but you're the most beautiful woman in the world to me" after ogling, then it's all good 🙂.

P.S. - To me, she is.

 

Oh, I should add: I wouldn't mind if he pointed out hot looking women/women that he found attractive. However, I would have a problem if he either acted on it or if he never complimented me as much as he stared at beautiful women. I think I should be beautiful enough for him to compliment me too. Basically, if it becomes a habit where he finds attractive women all the time but hardly compliments me, I know I won't be happy and it won't be pretty. I'm just being frank here. I always wanted someone who would appreciate me physically and mentally.

 

[Geekbabe]

There's nothing wrong with looking and admiring beautiful people,making your spouse feel like an ignored no longer desirable object though is sad.Reminding our partners of the reasons we choose to love them is always a good thing and wives should remember to express these feelings too,not just husbands.Nobody likes to feel taken for granted.

 

[Storm]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
There's nothing wrong with looking and admiring beautiful people,making your spouse feel like an ignored no longer desirable object though is sad.Reminding our partners of the reasons we choose to love them is always a good thing and wives should remember to express these feelings too,not just husbands.Nobody likes to feel taken for granted.

Perfectly stated 😀... Always a two-way street

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Storm

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
There's nothing wrong with looking and admiring beautiful people,making your spouse feel like an ignored no longer desirable object though is sad.Reminding our partners of the reasons we choose to love them is always a good thing and wives should remember to express these feelings too,not just husbands.Nobody likes to feel taken for granted.

Perfectly stated 😀... Always a two-way street

It's been my experience that a lot of men aren't always verbally demonstrative but that they try really hard via small things to express their feelings.Unfortunately in this day and age these contributions go unnoticed and a lot of men find their gestures returned with blank stares or even worse with scorn by women who cannot see the forest thru the trees.There are many ways to show love and to express passion and imho,men are much like gardens,you harvest the crop of affection in direct proportion to the amount of time and TLC you put into tending the garden.Also many men offer compliements only to have them discounted so over time they stop.When a husband says something nice the correct response is a smile and a thank you even if you're wondering if he needs his eyes checked ladies🙂

 

Geekbabe, as for your garden metaphor, I disagree. I have in fact seen many women who never reaped the fruits of their labour when it was harvested. Remember, it takes two. You can do the world on your end, yet the other side isn't willing. Of course if life were eternal, then maybe . . . just maybe she would reap what she sowed some day with her patience. However, life isn't that dandy.

"Also many men offer compliements only to have them discounted so over time they stop.When a husband says something nice the correct response is a smile and a thank you even if you're wondering if he needs his eyes checked ladies"

Well, you are right about the compliments thing. In most cases the women aren't confident and doubt what the man says. However, complimenting is the way of the smooth talker. So it becomes confusing sometimes and it's always good to inspect the compliments. There are times a guy says something that's clearly tongue in cheek. I sure as hell wouldn't want my significant other lying to me about my beauty or weaknesses. What I would appreciate is if he doesn't deny it but does tell me that that isn't sufficient reason to think low of myself. At the same time, I couldn't stand when a man cannot compliment me when there's something obvious to compliment about me. It doesn't mean that I'm constantly fishing for compliment, but I shouldn't have to hear "you look so beautiful", "you're so sweet", etc. from stangers instead of my significant other. What point is there in having a significant other if he doesn't find a part of me to conjoin with his? I could live on my own and don't need him otherwise.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: luvly
Geekbabe, as for your garden metaphor, I disagree. I have in fact seen many women who never reaped the fruits of their labour when it was harvested. Remember, it takes two. You can do the world on your end, yet the other side isn't willing. Of course if life were eternal, then maybe . . . just maybe she would reap what she sowed some day with her patience. However, life isn't that dandy.

"Also many men offer compliements only to have them discounted so over time they stop.When a husband says something nice the correct response is a smile and a thank you even if you're wondering if he needs his eyes checked ladies"

Well, you are right about the compliments thing. In most cases the women aren't confident and doubt what the man says. However, complimenting is the way of the smooth talker. So it becomes confusing sometimes and it's always good to inspect the compliments. There are times a guy says something that's clearly tongue in cheek. I sure as hell wouldn't want my significant other lying to me about my beauty or weaknesses. What I would appreciate is if he doesn't deny it but does tell me that that isn't sufficient reason to think low of myself. At the same time, I couldn't stand when a man cannot compliment me when there's something obvious to compliment about me. It doesn't mean that I'm constantly fishing for compliment, but I shouldn't have to hear "you look so beautiful", "you're so sweet", etc. from stangers instead of my significant other. What point is there in having a significant other if he doesn't find a part of me to conjoin with his? I could live on my own and don't need him otherwise.

There's a difference between some smooth talking idiot and a man you're in a serious relationship with.Believe it or not in real life I get my fair share of compliements from strangers and you know it really doesn't mean a damn thing to me,there's only one person's opnions that matter to me and yes,I'm no playboy bunny but I sure as shiat want to hear that to him I'm a sexy ,beautiful woman🙂

 

[Renob]

Married men: Do you still find other women attractive?

Yes, and so does the wife.😀

 

You're right that there's a difference. But the saddest part and biggest travesty is that smooth talkers find their ways often into family lives. And then they have their timing for complimenting. For instance, after he's hurt her feelings but wants to make out with her, then he starts the complimenting . . . not even a shred of explicit apology. :|

 

[BatmanNate]

Originally posted by: Isla
BTW, I was driving the other day and saw an AWESOME looking younger man riding a bicycle without his shirt on.

In my head, I thought, "THANK YOU!!!!"

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes we look, too.

Jesus you almost ran me off the road. Some thank you.

😉

 

[ohtwell]

Of course they do!! I have no problem with my husband finding other women attractive and telling me. In fact, I often point out hotties when we are walking around the mall.

No touchy though!! 😉😛


: ) Amanda

 

[BentValve]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Of course they do,gotta have something hot to think about when trying to get it up for boring wifey. lol,what kind of question is this anyway? silly people here🙂

Now that is getting into different territory ...if you are thinking about a different woman when making love to your wife then you have a problem.