Management Speak

[Armitage]

Lol - just got an email from my boss:

We're looking forward to expeditiously evolving an acceptable solution that will mitigate the situation described in your attachment.

Of course I'm the one who gets to do all the evolving & mitigating
That's why they pay me the big bucks!

 

[Jzero]

He couldn't have just said "We're working hard on solving the problem you sent us."

 

[Goosemaster]

Think ourside of the Bun:thumbsup:

 

[flamingelephant]

evolving? sounds like you have a vat of small solution-stem-cells or something that you have to grow into a solution....

 

[edro]

Originally posted by: Jzero
He couldn't have just said "We're working hard on solving the problem you sent us."

Or "You know what to do, get to work."

 

[maziwanka]

stupid ass in our meeting yday said, "we'll talk offline"

offline?!?! fvcking moron

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: Armitage
Lol - just got an email from my boss:

We're looking forward to expeditiously evolving an acceptable solution that will mitigate the situation described in your attachment.

Of course I'm the one who gets to do all the evolving & mitigating
That's why they pay me the big bucks!

20 bucks says he ran his original sentance ("we're working on the task you gave us") thry a thesaurus 20 times

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: Jzero
He couldn't have just said "We're working hard on solving the problem you sent us."

or "we're on it" but using less than 37 syllables per response is the eqivalent of corporate heresy

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: flamingelephant
evolving? sounds like you have a vat of small solution-stem-cells or something that you have to grow into a solution....

Well, I do some genetic algorithm work, so it could be close. But not on this project.

 

[StageLeft]

Your boss sounds like an ass. I've read a lot of crap but nothing that bad.

 

[Woogoat]

http://www.dilbert.com/comics/...ames/career/bin/ms.cgi

 

[MBony]

Am I right in assuming you are an lawyer?

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Your boss sounds like an ass. I've read a lot of crap but nothing that bad.

Nah ... he's a pretty cool guy. What you see above is really pretty much tongue-in-cheek.

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: MBony
Am I right in assuming you are an lawyer?

Motion to ban :|

 

[jagec]

how middle-class.

 

[Nithin]

armitage, please report to my office immediately.

 

[randal]

Originally posted by: Nithin
armitage, please report to my office immediately.

Armitage, would you please shift the paradigm of your current exertion and propel yourself with the e-objective of finalizing your location in my administrative center?

FIXED.

 

[BlueWeasel]

Originally posted by: Nithin
armitage, please report to my office immediately.

:laugh:

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: randal

Originally posted by: Nithin
armitage, please report to my office immediately.

Armitage, would you please shift the paradigm of your current exertion and propel yourself with the e-objective of finalizing your location in my administrative center?

FIXED.

born leader.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: maziwanka
stupid ass in our meeting yday said, "we'll talk offline"

offline?!?! fvcking moron

people on telephone conferences say that... which I don't see a problem with... but if they speak like that in person... :roll:

 

[PanzerIV]

Glad to know you said he was joking. I detest that absurd "corporate speak" b.s.

 

[MaxDepth]

So you won the lingo bingo this week?

 

[Thegonagle]

Originally posted by: Armitage
Lol - just got an email from my boss:

We're looking forward to expeditiously evolving an acceptable solution that will mitigate the situation described in your attachment.

Of course I'm the one who gets to do all the evolving & mitigating

Don't forget, evolve and mitigate expeditiously, or they'll shift your scheduling parameters to holdover mode. (You'll be working nights and weekends.)

 

[silverpig]

I'd either quit (actually prolly wouldn't start working there in the first place), or ask him to speak English.

I know some people who try to talk down to employees or just other random people in general by using complicated vocab. It's really funny when they misuse the words

 

[ZeroEffect]

It's all part of the corporate culture

...a paradigm shift

identifying your customers

giving out Kudos to deserving team members

all the time concentrating on Quality

and cost benefit outcomes

and that thing about finding the cheese or something like that