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Man. Buzzwords.

M

manlymatt83

Lifer
So I have an ASCII (text) version of my resume online. If you want to find it, it's pretty easy to, but I won't link it here.

I also have an HTML version. The HTML version is IDENTICAL to the TEXT version except that the extension of the file is .html instead of .txt. Literally, the files are IDENTICAL.

So....

I can't even tell you how many times employers have asked for an HTML or DOC version of my resume, and I send them the text version with .html extension. This is always good enough for them, even though they got the exact bit for bit copy of the .txt file i originally sent them.

WTF? Do people just like these buzzwords?

"Oh, good, its an HTML resume!"
 
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
 
Originally posted by: vi edit
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
Click to expand...

Does that even mean anything?
 
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
I can't even tell you how many times employers have asked for an HTML or DOC version of my resume, and I send them the text version with .html extension. This is always good enough for them, even though they got the exact bit for bit copy of the .txt file i originally sent them.
Click to expand...

So, uh, you ever gotten any jobs with your .txt/fake HTML resume?
You'd probably have your resume just tossed into the trash here.
"Can't follow simple directions, to hell with you."
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: vi edit
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
Click to expand...

Does that even mean anything?
Click to expand...

We're doing a reorg, lots of people will lose their jobs, but it's for the best.

That's how I read it. Apparently some of the groups aren't coorperating and a nice little shake up will fix things.
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: vi edit
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
Click to expand...

Does that even mean anything?
Click to expand...

You need to touch base with your direct report and restrategize the vision and its principles that best symbolizes the company as a family, a community member and a contributer.

Please advise.
 
Originally posted by: vi edit
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
Click to expand...

that's pretty good.
i'd like to have seen at least one 'the way forward' in there, though.

 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: vi edit
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
Click to expand...

Does that even mean anything?
Click to expand...

You are fired!
 
There are no buzzwords in your post... so I'm going to need you to circle back and future proof this post so there are no embarrassing missteps in the future

also what happened to your cross country 'not post here as much' thing?
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: vi edit
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
Click to expand...

Does that even mean anything?
Click to expand...

we're combining you all and cutting out some of the fat
 
Originally posted by: Platypus
There are no buzzwords in your post... so I'm going to need you to circle back and future proof this post so there are no embarrassing missteps in the future

also what happened to your cross country 'not post here as much' thing?
Click to expand...

I wonder this everytime I see OP post.

OP is a scaredy cat. 😛
 
Originally posted by: E equals MC2
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: vi edit
That's not really buzzwords...

This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"This decision was made based upon our need to focus on the management of our Application and Systems Portfolio while continuing our resolve to achieve considerable outcomes in initiatives for operational excellence. As such, I feel it is best to realign responsibilities to nurture the synergies between our Application, Operations, and Technical Teams that will be necessary for a service centric environment. "

He put realign, nurture, and synergie in the same sentence. That is buzzword bombing at it's bestest!
Click to expand...

Does that even mean anything?
Click to expand...

You need to touch base with your direct report and restrategize the vision and its principles that best symbolizes the company as a family, a community member and a contributer.

Please advise.
Click to expand...

Advice: go to grammar school.
 
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Originally posted by: vi edit
This little blurb from our CIO is a buzzword bingo hotbed:

"We must pwn."
Click to expand...

That's all I got from it.
Click to expand...
I would rather see that, or else, "All your customers are belong to us!"

The original blurb made me throw up in my mouth a little.

I'm severely allergic to moronic business-speak, even some of the milder stuff.


At a job interview, someone said that the projects on my website showed that I like to "think outside the box." I had to work to keep from laughing at it; it brought to mind something from Futurama. "You get back to the farm, shift some paradigms, revolutionize outside the box."
Who knows, maybe thinking outside the box was a bad thing. I never heard back from either person who was there interviewing me. Calls to either phone number on their business cards (landline or cellular) yield no human being, and messages are not returned. So I'm assuming that's a "no" I'm not hired - or else both were killed in a car crash right after the interview. Oh well.


 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
I can't even tell you how many times employers have asked for an HTML or DOC version of my resume, and I send them the text version with .html extension. This is always good enough for them, even though they got the exact bit for bit copy of the .txt file i originally sent them.
Click to expand...

So, uh, you ever gotten any jobs with your .txt/fake HTML resume?
You'd probably have your resume just tossed into the trash here.
"Can't follow simple directions, to hell with you."
Click to expand...

Tons.
 
Originally posted by: Platypus
There are no buzzwords in your post... so I'm going to need you to circle back and future proof this post so there are no embarrassing missteps in the future

also what happened to your cross country 'not post here as much' thing?
Click to expand...

Probably leaving next week
 
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