• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Man arrested for allegedly getting it on with a picnic table

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
*Scene I - "Wood Sex-Date"*


Erect Wood: "Hello thar, how about some hot wood on wood action over by the fireplace? I can bring the dog in. I know the barking makes you hot."

Pile of Wood: ...*wood noise*

Erect Wood: "After we can watch your favorite Splint Eastwood flick: The Wood, the Bad, and the Ugly."

Pile of Wood: ...*wood noise with slight variation*


*Scene II: "After Months of Nailing"*


Flacid Wood: "Look what you've become! So large and unappealing, so white! I'm leaving!"

Picnic Table: ...*picnicky sob*


*Scene III: "$20,000 Bond"*


Flacid Wood: *arrested*

Picnic Table: ...*picnicky laugh*


*End*
 
wow that is some crazy stuff.

but i also find it pretty amusing that everyone is all OMG MY CHILD MAY HAVE SEEN A PENIS!
 
Originally posted by: purbeast0
wow that is some crazy stuff.

but i also find it pretty amusing that everyone is all OMG MY CHILD MAY HAVE SEEN A PENIS!
Click to expand...

If I had children I would prefer that a freak like this not be anywhere near them.
 
I wonder what his ATOT s/n is?

On a side note.....

What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
Click to expand...

So if you live near a school and you and the missus or fella forget to close the blinds you can be charged with a felony?
 
was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
Click to expand...
between 10:30 and noon, shouldn't the kids be in the school?
 
As a member of the IPIPFS (International Penis In Patio Furniture Society), I am outraged by the continued discrimination that is perpetrated against my fellow members. What kind of Orwellian society do we live in where a man can't make sweet, sweet love to an umbrella hole!?
 
Originally posted by: George P Burdell
What about splinters?
Click to expand...

:shocked:
thats what I was thinking


why do these things always happen in Ohio.
I usually think of Ohio as a mostly civilized land. Hell, most of the farm communities aren't exactly backwards. I gots me family that lives in one of dem.

+
 
Wow. His friends will never let this one go.

"Hey Carol! I'd like you to meet my friends John, Patrick, and Art--we call ol' Art here Splinterdick though...funny story..."
 
Somewhere out there, a woman is questioning her child rearing abilities, while a father who loves picnics is realizing more things are hereditary than he once thought.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top