Don't know if you guys saw this...but on the CA website posted above http://caag.state.ca.us/donotcall/consumer.htm, there are also a bunch of addresses and phone numbers to take you off various lists. I actually got the one for the Direct Marketer's Association from someone for Discover card after I threatened to sue them--they kept on calling me after I told them several times to get me off my list... but I had a little fun with the girl trying to tell me it takes 6-8 weeks for their database to be updated even though she called like 4 months after I told them to get me off their list.. (BTW what kind of database software takes 6-8 weeks to perform an update?? I think if my bank used that same software every time I deposited my paycheck they wouldn't be in business anymore....) Anyway, hope that helps!
TOP 10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
10. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration", and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say goodbye - and hang up. (Seinfeld)
2. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write down EVERY WORD.
10. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration", and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say goodbye - and hang up. (Seinfeld)
2. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write down EVERY WORD.
My 3 favorite ways to have fun:
I used to pop a porno tape in the VCR, then I would listen to their spiel and act interested. Hard for the women telemarketers to concentrate.
When they ask for someone, tell them that person died 2 weeks ago and start crying. I had one poor girl in tears and trying to console me for 10 minutes.
If I got a rude telemarketer, I'd check the caller ID, then call them back. It's usually busy, but you can dial into some systems right as they're picking up. After hearing the tones and a click I would say "hello" until someone picked up and say "Hello, Mr. Jones?...? " Then I'd have them come out to my, umm, Mr. Jones house for pest control, pool cleaning, lawncare...
I used to pop a porno tape in the VCR, then I would listen to their spiel and act interested. Hard for the women telemarketers to concentrate.
When they ask for someone, tell them that person died 2 weeks ago and start crying. I had one poor girl in tears and trying to console me for 10 minutes.
If I got a rude telemarketer, I'd check the caller ID, then call them back. It's usually busy, but you can dial into some systems right as they're picking up. After hearing the tones and a click I would say "hello" until someone picked up and say "Hello, Mr. Jones?...? " Then I'd have them come out to my, umm, Mr. Jones house for pest control, pool cleaning, lawncare...
Once I had a telemarketer call me trying to sell insurance. I said I sure could have used this call last week, because just three days ago my house completely burned to the ground. He apologized and quickly dismissed himself and hung up the phone.
I wonder if it ever occured to him how I could answer the phone if just three days ago it burned to the ground...
-Pakaderm
I wonder if it ever occured to him how I could answer the phone if just three days ago it burned to the ground...
-Pakaderm
<< My dad told a window and door telemarketer that we didn't have any windows or doors
>>I told AT&T I didn't own a phone.
10: goto www.ebay.com
20: search for 'cybergenie'
30: if you=cybergenie then 50
40: goto 10
50: type "problem solved"
60 end
20: search for 'cybergenie'
30: if you=cybergenie then 50
40: goto 10
50: type "problem solved"
60 end
Telemarketer called this morning and I did the Jerry Seinfeld to her......
When she called, I said to her.....Hey, I'm really busy this morning, how about I just get your HOME phone number and call you back at home when I get home tonight. She laughed, nervously, and said, I'm sorry I can't do that. And I said, why, you don't want people bothering you at home? She laughed and said, yeah, I don't want you to call me at home. I said to her, now you know how I feel and hung up....
It works everytime.....hahaa
SoulAssassin
Diamond Member
- Feb 1, 2001
- 6,135
- 2
- 0
I'm friends w some of the guys who manage the Mosaix dialers at my company and they've done testing and neither the boxes you buy or putting the .wav on the answering machine affect our dialers, so the only thing you're accomplishing is annoying the real people that try to call you.
Danzilla
Platinum Member
- Dec 30, 2000
- 2,747
- 0
- 76
<< and i thought i was being heckled with silent phone calls when really its dumb telemarketers. who the hell buys this stuff? they should all be out of business by now. STOP BUYING WHAT THERE SELLING! >>
That's what I was thinking. Who are these F@#%$^ing morons that actually buy ANYTHING that some stranger calls to offer. If a certain percentage of people didn't actually respond to these tactics, telemarketers would be out of a job.
D.
For those who think the telemarketers are "morons" for staying on the line after you put them "on hold":
As soon as they hang up, their next prospective call is routed to them by the auto-dialer. Their whole shift is one connected call after another. They don't get much time during their shift for breaks, and they're expected to tend to their "personal needs" at those times. You're doing them a favor, since even if their call is being monitored, they can claim that they were complying with your request in an attempt to make a sale. Either way, their getting a respite from the constant pressure . . .
I'm a truck driver, and I work from 9 PM to 8 AM - the last thing I want to deal with is phone calls when I'm trying to get some sleep, so they get the "As a matter of principal, I refuse to support unsolicited sales / marketing programs and the companies that rely on them - Please remove me from your call list" speech. Requesting their name and extension does seem to add a bit of weight to the "delete" request.
As soon as they hang up, their next prospective call is routed to them by the auto-dialer. Their whole shift is one connected call after another. They don't get much time during their shift for breaks, and they're expected to tend to their "personal needs" at those times. You're doing them a favor, since even if their call is being monitored, they can claim that they were complying with your request in an attempt to make a sale. Either way, their getting a respite from the constant pressure . . .
I'm a truck driver, and I work from 9 PM to 8 AM - the last thing I want to deal with is phone calls when I'm trying to get some sleep, so they get the "As a matter of principal, I refuse to support unsolicited sales / marketing programs and the companies that rely on them - Please remove me from your call list" speech. Requesting their name and extension does seem to add a bit of weight to the "delete" request.
I had been telling the telemarketers that mr. so-and-so (which was really me) didn't live there any more. Which got me a one way ticket to a disconnected phone when I told it to the telemarketer from the phone company before she could get her shpiel out..... oops.
just talk dirty to the chicks when they call, you'll never get a call back from them.
I'm talkin some nasty ph0ne sex0r kinda dirty.. not "F U"
I'm talkin some nasty ph0ne sex0r kinda dirty.. not "F U"
The real question I'd like answered is:
How long until a telemarketer calls trying to sell you a telezapper?
How long until a telemarketer calls trying to sell you a telezapper?
My Brother-In-Law told a magazine salesperson that he was just diagnosed with glaucoma and would be blind within a year. The dude on the other end was way embarresed and apologized profusely before quickly hanging up. I usually just chicken out and just tell them that I am not interested.
I told a telemarketer once that the person they were looking for was not home because I just stuffed their body parts into a duffel bag and was about to go out to the Meadowlands to dump them. Apparently, the telemarketer got a little freaked cause he called the police. Needless to say the locals cops weren't amused
Scyber
Scyber
Okay, I've had this idea for about a year and haven't done anything with it, so if anyone wants to take this idea and make a million dollars with it, that's fine with me (just please mention my name in Forbes):
Create a phone with a microchip in it. This chip's function would be when someone calls your number to request a "access code" (which is determined by you). If the user does not give the correct access code, the call is automatically transferred to voicemail or the built-in answering machine. YOUR PHONE NEVER RINGS. If they put in the correct access code, your phone rings and you pick up the phone.
The outgoing message requesting the access code could be something like "To talk to Bob and Suzie, enter the access code. To leave a voicemail, press 1" or "To talk to Bob and Suzie, press 1234." The first would spell out what would happen (if your aged mother calls and doesn't remember the access code, she'll at least know that she'll be able to put in a voicemail). The second one would eliminate the autodialers, because they wouldn't waste the time waiting to hear what the access code is, but your family or whatever would be given it right away.
The best thing about this idea is that your phone doesn't ring until they put in the correct access code. So, you aren't bothered by anyone you don't want to be bothered by.
Create a phone with a microchip in it. This chip's function would be when someone calls your number to request a "access code" (which is determined by you). If the user does not give the correct access code, the call is automatically transferred to voicemail or the built-in answering machine. YOUR PHONE NEVER RINGS. If they put in the correct access code, your phone rings and you pick up the phone.
The outgoing message requesting the access code could be something like "To talk to Bob and Suzie, enter the access code. To leave a voicemail, press 1" or "To talk to Bob and Suzie, press 1234." The first would spell out what would happen (if your aged mother calls and doesn't remember the access code, she'll at least know that she'll be able to put in a voicemail). The second one would eliminate the autodialers, because they wouldn't waste the time waiting to hear what the access code is, but your family or whatever would be given it right away.
The best thing about this idea is that your phone doesn't ring until they put in the correct access code. So, you aren't bothered by anyone you don't want to be bothered by.
<< The real question I'd like answered is:
How long until a telemarketer calls trying to sell you a telezapper? >>
It's already happened to me several times! This company just doesn't give up... I told them not to call me several times already. So now... I do the touchtone version of phone slamming... as soon as they start their shpiel... I start hitting the dial numbers... BEEPBOOPBEEEOPBEEPBEEP
I try to make a little tune and then see if they're still on the line... usually they aren't, if they are... BEEPBOOPBEEPBEEEEEEEEEEEP.
It's fun trying to make a little tune
dvdapex, that idea's been around for years. Products based on it have actually been released too.
<< dvdapex, that idea's been around for years. Products based on it have actually been released too. >>
Not only have these been around for years, but almost all the local phone companies also offer similar functionality as an optional service. However, if you really want to get rid of telemarketing calls, then get rid of your home phone and go completely celluar. When was the last time that you got a telemarketing call on your cell phone? As cheap as airtime is these days, there is no real reason to even have a fixed line unless you spend hours on the phone each day and if this is the case then you are not receiving telemarketing calls anyway.
Perhaps others can offer their own experiences with this, but my understanding is that making a telemarketing call to a cellular phone is illegal (since you pay for minutes, as opposed to a POTS line where incoming calls are essentially free).
I have one more good tip for dealing with telemarketers (you'll have to read my first post in this thread to get the other one). My first tip explained how to get rid of 90% of your telemarketing calls for free the painless way. Here's how to handle the other 10% with minimum pain and rudeness...
I have caller ID, and typically when someone calls, I see one of three things -- the person's name & number, "Private", or "Out of Area". In general Private means that it's a friend of mine who has blocked outgoing caller ID. Out of Area is typically (99.9% of the time) a telemarketer. I used to answer all three "hello?" and if it was a telemarketer they'd ask for me by name, I would confess to being the guy they were looking for, and then they would start talking for 10 minutes before I could get in a "Not interested" and get rid of them.
A lot of people (especially in this thread) just hang up on them, or lay the phone down and forget about it, or whatever. But I have a hard time with that. The poor person on the other end of the line is just trying to make a living and probably a lousy one at that. It's not his/her fault that the only job they could get was working at a miserable telemarketing company. Let's face it, I'm just too nice a guy.
So I came up with this script, and it's worked 100% of the time since I started using it. It really makes getting a telemarketing call much more pleasant (if that's possible). I perform this routine whenever I get a call from someone without caller ID (either "Private" or "Out of Area"):
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer without caller ID: Hi, may I please speak with Mr. Revere?
Me: Who's calling please?
Telemarketer without caller ID: This is is Judy from Time-Life Books. Is this Mr. Revere?
Me: I'm sorry, this number doesn't accept telemarketing calls. Please put this number on your do-not-call list.
Telemarketer without caller ID: Okay, thank you. <click>
By simply asking who's calling, it forces a break in the conversation after they tell you who's calling, at which point you can say whatever you want and ask for them to add your number to their legally-required do-not-call list. Neat huh? There's one more thing though...
Telemarketing secret: All of these autodialling telemarketing computers have what's called a "Right-party contact" (RPC) flag. Anytime a telemarter calls you and asks for you by name it means that they got your information from somewhere. If you admit to being the person they asked for, they'll record the call as being an RPC because they were able to contact the right person. Regardless of whether you ask to be put on their do-not-call list, they've successfully made an RPC.
Why is this important? Because, let's say they bought a list from a credit card company and they want to sell you replacement windows for your house. No matter what you say when they call, if they can verify that you are the person they were calling, they will sell this information back to the credit card company. Your credit card company wants to know that you are still living at the address they have on file, and can still be reached at the number they have in their records.
To avoid this invasion of my privacy I never admit to being whoever they ask for, as you can see in the script. The only information they gather from the above conversation is that this number does not accept telemarketing calls and they should put the number on their do-not-call list.
There you have it. Try it out, I think you'll like it.
<< Then I put the phone down and never return. It's amazing how long some of these people stay on the line waiting and waiting..... >>
there is a reason for that...
back in high school I also worked as a telemarketer for a horrible 3 months.. it is the worst and most depressing job ever. but actually I was better than most at making sales. I called American Express card members and tried to get them to sign up for the Blue card.
anyway, naturally the telemarketers dont want to be calling you any more than you want them to be calling. at the place I worked at, u log into the computer and it records how long u are taking calls and how long u have it not accepting new calls.. u have to be actually taking calls 75% of the time u are at work each day or u get written up. well, when somone just puts the phone down, of course I would sit and wait.. and wait.. because I am not working, yet the computer thinks I am diligently hawking credit cards. the more time u can spend fooling the system like this the less time u have to actually take calls.
also sometimes people wouldn't hang their phones up all the way and the line would still be open, and I'd sit there for hours on the same call.
or if people clicked over to the other line, u could wait and hold on the line and cheat the computer that way too.oh and be careful about being a real prick to a telemarketer.. If people were assholes to me, I would set the computer to call them back again in 1 minute.. then 1 minute later.. then again the next minute, etc. or I could set it so the computer dialed their # at 4am.. of course it was against the rules but none of the high school kids (80+% of the poeople who worked there) wanted to be there for follow the stupid rules
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