Major life changing decision that I need to make.

[rudeguy]

true. the only thing that can go wrong is you go back to your parents and ask for help, or waking up in a bath tub full of ice without a kidney.

and kidneys grow back, so who cares.

I used to be so afraid to make decisions that I would do whatever it took to have to not make one. It was easier to blame life or others than to own up to my own actions. It got me below nowhere, I kept sliding backwards.

Now I have a very simple theory: "make a decision". If I'm wrong, I can always own up to it and move on. If I'm right, then great. Either way I learn a little more and grow a lot more.

 

[Locut0s]

Is this another one of those situations where the guy has been asking for advice for months, we give it to him, he refuses to take it, and keeps asking for new advice?

Dude, you are not lacking for information. You need to nut up and make a decision with you life. There are no easy answers, and even if there are people are lacking in the fortitude to carry them out.

I've made so many tough life decisions its not even an issue for me any more. Now its just fine tuning the plans to make the most of what I have.
Joined the Navy.
Worked into the Advanced Electronics Program.
Got out.
Moved to Oregon to take a job.
Plant shut down. I moved to take another job.
New job paid less for a more expensive town. I moved in with mom to go to school on the GI Bill and try a new career field.

None of these decisions was simple or easy, but I learned my first year in the Navy that fucking around does NOT make life any easier. You need a goal (actually several goals but thats a whole different rant) and you need some sort of a plan to get to those goals. And since no plan is perfect (universal constant) you need to be flexible and open-minded with changing your plans on short notice. And you need the balls to execute tough plans.

Take a risk man. Many things in life dont work out the way you want, but at least have the guts to try things so you can learn and grow and be better equipped to make good decisions in the future.

Yes I know the above to be all factually true. Knowing it to be emotionally true is another thing and something that is harder to convince oneself of. Making big decisions has always been an issue for me (used to be making any decisions).

 

[Locut0s]

and kidneys grow back, so who cares.

I used to be so afraid to make decisions that I would do whatever it took to have to not make one. It was easier to blame life or others than to own up to my own actions. It got me below nowhere, I kept sliding backwards.

Now I have a very simple theory: "make a decision". If I'm wrong, I can always own up to it and move on. If I'm right, then great. Either way I learn a little more and grow a lot more.

Thats something that I DO have to learn I know it. Actually did you know that your liver can actually grow back to some degree?

 

[rudeguy]

Thats something that I DO have to learn I know it. Actually did you know that your liver can actually grow back to some degree?

not mine. I killed that fucker

D:

 

[gophins72]

in all seriousness, there's nothing worse than not doing anything. it's even worse than doing the wrong thing because then you can still do the right thing before the guy who does nothing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoqDYcCDOTg

 

[Mide]

Think about how much hard work it took for you to save 60K. Don't blow it on a house unless you love where you live and want to stay there forever. At this point it is too late to be living in the dorms at 28...you'll get a lot of shit from people there as you'll be known as the "old weird dude in room 331". I'd concentrate on getting that degree while keeping your expenses low so keep on living at home if your mom lets you. Essentially make school primary and work secondary.

After you have your degree then try to get a FT job. Good thing is that you have a few years left so maybe the economy will pick up by then. Searching for a job now sucks hairy balls.

After you get a FT job, move out or buy a house depending on if you want to stay where you are. Know that the house will be a huge anchor if you ever decide to move. But if you buy something get a house, not a condo or townhouse. I have a townhouse and am regretting it because I have to pay that damn association fee every month for some dumbass to come by and trim a few bushes every 6 months or so.

 

[Mide]

not mine. I killed that fucker

D:

lol I just spit out some Mt. Dew onto my LCD.

 

[VinylxScratches]

how the hell did you manage 60k working in retail?????????????

 

[DrPizza]

I'm going to disagree with the renting option. Here's why: if he rents, and returns to college, they're going to see that 60k in savings and basically "take" it from him. If he sinks the 60k into a cheap place & winds up with a very affordable mortgage, then (hopefully), his 60k increases in value as the market recovers a little bit. Financial aid might result in him not needing to take out 100% of the college costs in student loans; an independent student living on his own with minimal savings and a crappy job = better financial aid. I hate to say "game the system," but that's what it more or less boils down to.

You'd really have to play with the numbers to get a good idea of where you'd stand in 4 years.

Here's another thought: find a small, relatively rural college town where you'd be willing to enroll. Purchase a relatively inexpensive house, paying cash. Rent out a couple of rooms to college students. Profit! 4 years later, sell the house.

edit: as an example: 45k, near St. Bonaventure University (private university, generally regarded as a pretty good school)
http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/58-South-7th-Street_Allegany_NY_14706_M48778-18039
That house is relatively near to the university; in the same neighborhood as a few places that are rented exclusively to college students. The college is literally right around the corner. 4 bedrooms, 2 baths; get 2 students to pay $1500 a semester (a bargain for college students, considering living on campus is at least $5k per semester, not including a meal plan), and you've got taxes & utilities covered for the 4 years you're there.

 

[thepd7]

If you might be going back to college, going into debt on a condo is a bad idea. Remember that besides the mortgage there will also be maintenance, condo association fees and property taxes.

One reason why I still rent (long after college) is that I don't see a real advantage to owning a condo vs. renting -- I put the difference into mutual funds as my investment, and am not tied to living any one place.

I might buy a house eventually, but a condo / townhome seems like the worst of both worlds.

I agree.

OP, get your degree, stay at home. I know that's not what you want to hear but spending money on school is statistically the best investment you can make. I came out with no debt because of a scholarship, it's really nice to graduate without that weight on your shoulders.

Also, you really don't want to own a place unless you know you will be there for about 5 years or more. You might need to move for work after graduating.

 

[gophins72]

well, it depends on how much college is. Financial aid = loans. Here, it's about $10k from the local university for a year's tuition, or $500 at the community college who's credits transfer in. You can really get a cheap, decent education here, so you can really just pay for it all with that amount.

 

[Locut0s]

how the hell did you manage 60k working in retail?????????????

Umm like I said I'm really NOT that amazing at saving. Live at home with parents and no other expenses. I worked at 7-11 for 4 years making about 14$/hr. That's about what a little over 30K per year gross when you work in overtime. I made more like 35K during the last year or year 1/2. So that's 125K at least over those 4 years. In the past several months I've been working at a computer retail store making much less. So you take 125k-60 means that I still managed to spend about 40k WITHOUT a car, without rent, without needing to buy much in the way of food etc! A lot of that went to tech toys and entertainment. NOT factoring in taxes here of course.

 

[rudeguy]

oh I forgot to mention one more really important thing.....


relax man

 

[Farang]

Life can't be perfectly efficient. You're tying all this stuff together making it a much bigger decision than it has to be. You're connecting renting an apartment with going back to school with your future career goals with the fate of your nest egg with getting a girlfriend with mental health issues.

Go to your school's website. Register for classes towards finishing your degree.

Look on Craigslist. Call 5 people to view apartments. View, inspect, sign, pay. Move out.

Keep working.

In a year or two or three you have your degree, you have your nest egg, you're learning how to be independent and in turn your anxiety issues get better. In the meantime enjoy yourself, get a pass at Whistler and ski whenever possible.

 

[gophins72]

you have options:

http://www.straight.com/article-215493/parties-talk-tuition-strategy

Average undergraduate tuition fees in 2008-2009
> Canada-wide: $4,724
> Quebec: $2,167
> Newfoundland and Labrador: $2,632
> Manitoba: $3,276
> Prince Edward Island: $4,530
> Saskatchewan: $5,015
> British Columbia: $5,040
> Alberta: $5,361
> New Brunswick: $5,590
> Ontario: $5,643
> Nova Scotia: $5,932
> Source: Statistics Canada

i say take the trip to europe, put a $ cap on it, spend no more than $2-3k, decide if you want to live at home, move out or dont, then enroll in college (not sure how many years you have left), graduate with no debt and hopefully still have some left over money and buy a house then if you want.

go full time at college and just immerse yourself in the scene. the rest will fall into place.

 

[sandorski]

Only skimmed the OP, so maybe I missed it. If your Parents are ok with you living there, go back to College, get your Degree, then decide on moving out. How much time is left on the Degree? 2-3 years Full time? If you continue working, it might even save your nest egg.

 

[JEDI]

Umm like I said I'm really NOT that amazing at saving. Live at home with parents and no other expenses. I worked at 7-11 for 4 years making about 14$/hr. That's about what a little over 30K per year gross when you work in overtime. I made more like 35K during the last year or year 1/2. So that's 125K at least over those 4 years. In the past several months I've been working at a computer retail store making much less. So you take 125k-60 means that I still managed to spend about 40k WITHOUT a car, without rent, without needing to buy much in the way of food etc! A lot of that went to tech toys and entertainment. NOT factoring in taxes here of course.

$14/hr as asst mgr at 7-11?! geez.
$17/hr in retail sales?!?! how much are those commissions?!

normally i would say move into the dorms for social interaction.
but being 28 and never having a gf will get you made fun of and tormented by the college alpha males living in the dorms.

as for college debt, here's the general rule of thumb:
do not take on more debt that what your degrees pays in 1 yr.

 

[preslove]

Get a BS in business while renting and working part time. You have a lot of retail experience and are a people person, so you should be retail management material as long as you have a degree. Frugally use the 60k for that.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

The biggest cure for depression I know is coping with the unexpected. Do things out of character and out of your comfort zone. You need to take bold strokes because you've got a bankroll that will cushion day to day issues. Move out and make a definitive move towards a dream.

 

[shortylickens]

The biggest cure for depression I know is coping with the unexpected. Do things out of character and out of your comfort zone. You need to take bold strokes because you've got a bankroll that will cushion day to day issues. Move out and make a definitive move towards a dream.

I dont necessarily disagree with anything you said, but I'd also like to suggest that a great help to depression is exercise. Not only do the endorphins and shit make you feel better immediately, but also over time you feel better about yourself cuz you are making positive, long-lasting changes.
I started again back in September and it really does help. But it has to be real exercise. You have to hurt when you do it and you cant stop just because its inconvenient. You need to push through that and make it part of your life. If needed you need to readjust your lifestyle so that regular workouts are part of your day, not something you do if you can make the time. No one can "make time". We arent gods or time travelers. We have to choose how we live our lives and making ourselves feel better should be one of those things.

 

[Howard]

Join the military.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I dont necessarily disagree with anything you said, but I'd also like to suggest that a great help to depression is exercise. Not only do the endorphins and shit make you feel better immediately, but also over time you feel better about yourself cuz you are making positive, long-lasting changes.
I started again back in September and it really does help. But it has to be real exercise. You have to hurt when you do it and you cant stop just because its inconvenient. You need to push through that and make it part of your life. If needed you need to readjust your lifestyle so that regular workouts are part of your day, not something you do if you can make the time. No one can "make time". We arent gods or time travelers. We have to choose how we live our lives and making ourselves feel better should be one of those things.

I agree with the exercise part but, I recommend even doing this in a fashion that's out of character. Take up skateboarding, modern dance or, Tai Chi Chuan. Whatever is something that you'd never do normally. There's been a lot of financial advice given but, you can't disassociate your mental health from your financial health. That's a mistake that too many 'youts' make and we won't see the fallout for years.

 

[Howard]

I agree with the exercise part but, I recommend even doing this in a fashion that's out of character. Take up skateboarding, modern dance or, Tai Chi Chuan. Whatever is something that you'd never do normally. There's been a lot of financial advice given but, you can't disassociate your mental health from your financial health. That's a mistake that too many 'youts' make and we won't see the fallout for years.

What is a... yout?

 

[gophins72]

take up skateboarding, modern dance or, tai chi chuan.

do it!

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

What is a... yout?

do it!

Youts! You know, young people.

I met my wife taking a modern dance class.