• We should now be fully online following an overnight outage. Apologies for any inconvenience, we do not expect there to be any further issues.

Maggie Gallagher giving up on optimism

Page 3 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

Retro Rob

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2012
8,151
108
106
The bold part is particularly wrong. The only way it can be "in your face" is if you let it. Everyone else is more secure in their sexuality and their relationships.

Oh, not this "fear" thing again.

I don't mean to sound ignorant, but I've yet hear a valid explanation of what's so "fearful" about SSM being legalized, or even on the table.
 

zsdersw

Lifer
Oct 29, 2003
10,505
2
0
Oh, not this "fear" thing again.

I don't mean to sound ignorant, but I've yet hear a valid explanation of what's so "fearful" about SSM being legalized, or even on the table.

If not because of fear or insecurity, why is something you're not a participant of considered by you to be "in your face"?
 

Retro Rob

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2012
8,151
108
106
If not because of fear or insecurity, why is something you're not a participant of considered by you to be "in your face"?

Rubbing it in, dude.

...because they've been "discriminated" against for so long, they'd see it as a jab to religion, or the "Church" in particular... especially seeing how many religous folks make up the GOP.

Maybe not you, but I am quite sure many would love that! Read around, Z... you'll see.
 
Nov 29, 2006
15,886
4,436
136
LOL at all of you who think gay marriage some how threatens hetro marriages. In what way does it threaten a hetro marriage? It is not going to cause more divorces in hetro couples because gays can marry.

Non issue. Let them get married already for fucks sake.
 

zsdersw

Lifer
Oct 29, 2003
10,505
2
0
Rubbing it in, dude.

...because they've been "discriminated" against for so long, they'd see it as a jab to religion, or the "Church" in particular... especially seeing how many religous folks make up the GOP.

Maybe not you, but I am quite sure many would love that! Read around, Z... you'll see.

That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about why an outsider and non-participant (you, for example) would consider a gay marriage to be "in your face".

Motives of others are not the issue; why you consider it "in your face" is the issue.
 

nehalem256

Lifer
Apr 13, 2012
15,669
8
0
LOL at all of you who think gay marriage some how threatens hetro marriages. In what way does it threaten a hetro marriage? It is not going to cause more divorces in hetro couples because gays can marry.

Non issue. Let them get married already for fucks sake.

It doesn't threaten A hetero marriage. It threatens the idea of marriage by spreading the idea that marriage exists just to get government benefits for your sex partner.
 

zsdersw

Lifer
Oct 29, 2003
10,505
2
0
It threatens the idea of marriage by spreading the idea that marriage exists just to get government benefits for your sex partner.

It does not threaten the idea of marriage. Marriages are what their participants make of them, and the idea of marriage changes accordingly.. for better or worse.
 

Retro Rob

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2012
8,151
108
106
That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about why an outsider and non-participant (you, for example) would consider a gay marriage to be "in your face".

Motives of others are not the issue; why you consider it "in your face" is the issue.

Well, that's what I was talking about... "in your face", generally speaking.

Otherwise, it's not in my face (ME).
 
Nov 29, 2006
15,886
4,436
136
It doesn't threaten A hetero marriage. It threatens the idea of marriage by spreading the idea that marriage exists just to get government benefits for your sex partner.

So if its not about benefits then lets get rid of all hetro marriage benefits as well. No more seeing your wife on her death bed etc.
 

Retro Rob

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2012
8,151
108
106
So if its not about benefits then lets get rid of all hetro marriage benefits as well. No more seeing your wife on her death bed etc.

My sarcasm meter may be broken.

In short, don't get married only because of the benefits, thus, cheapening it.
 
Last edited:

Charles Kozierok

Elite Member
May 14, 2012
6,762
1
0
In short, don't get married only because of the benefits, thus, cheapening it.

Why do you assume that gays only get married because of the practical benefits?

Like heterosexuals, some do it mainly for the benefits, some do it partially for the benefits, and some don't care about the benefits at all.
 

zsdersw

Lifer
Oct 29, 2003
10,505
2
0
Why do you assume that gays only get married because of the practical benefits?

Because it assists the argument caricature he wants to make.

Like heterosexuals, some do it mainly for the benefits, some do it partially for the benefits, and some don't care about the benefits at all.

Yes, but why would someone bother with the truth when it's easier to pigeon-hole the issue with dishonesty.
 

Retro Rob

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2012
8,151
108
106
Why do you assume that gays only get married because of the practical benefits?

Like heterosexuals, some do it mainly for the benefits, some do it partially for the benefits, and some don't care about the benefits at all.


..becasue those are the main reason(s) I hear/read about.

This is the main argument, again, I read about. To be honest, the couples who have been together for years (normally with older SS couples) get married for love, etc. Older couples generally don't care about benefits much. The newer generation SS couple put that as a main discriminatory disadvatage.
 

DukeN

Golden Member
Dec 12, 1999
1,422
0
76
LOL, only in America you give up optimism because your bigotry is on the downslide...
 

Charles Kozierok

Elite Member
May 14, 2012
6,762
1
0
This is the main argument, again, I read about.

That's probably because people feel the practical argument will be more persuasive.

To be honest, the couples who have been together for years (normally with older SS couples) get married for love, etc. Older couples generally don't care about benefits much. The newer generation SS couple put that as a main discriminatory disadvatage.

And that's true. It's not an invalid argument, just not the only one. So why try to make it into something it's not?
 

zsdersw

Lifer
Oct 29, 2003
10,505
2
0
I'm not, they are. Nice way to try and flip that over on me, though.

Only in your inexperienced/uninformed world. You yourself said you only knew one gay person... and have only read/heard about everything else. That's hardly a solid basis on which to form an opinion.
 

Charles Kozierok

Elite Member
May 14, 2012
6,762
1
0
I'm not, they are.

Aren't you?

Here's what you wrote:

We need to stop making this about love and peace and unity, becasue that isn't what this is about, IMO. It's only about getting the benefits that hetero couples (married) gets, and having a little "in yo face" factor in it. Plain and simple. Gay people care less about whether people accept them or not. I don't blame them, to be honest. I don't think they care about uniting the country -- they only want want what hetero couples have.

You said that the "only" reason gays want to get married is for benefits. Which is not true.

Furthermore, you're implying with your language that wanting the right to marry for benefits is somehow inappropriate or shameful.

Why are you using invalid and insulting arguments?
 

Retro Rob

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2012
8,151
108
106
Aren't you?

Here's what you wrote:



You said that the "only" reason gays want to get married is for benefits. Which is not true.

Furthermore, you're implying with your language that wanting the right to marry for benefits is somehow inappropriate or shameful.

Why are you using invalid and insulting arguments?

Ah, I see.

I was stating facts, dude, which they've brought up time and time again as to why they're "discriminated" against.

My apologies if I made an overly-general statement which I will own, but I'm not wrong in the fact that "benefits" is a very compelling and convincing legitimate reason to cite discrimination.

In their shoes, they're not "wrong", but it's an argument they make. If my arguments are insulting, grow some thick skin, please.
 

Charles Kozierok

Elite Member
May 14, 2012
6,762
1
0
I'm not wrong in the fact that "benefits" is a very compelling and convincing legitimate reason to cite discrimination.

That's true. It is a compelling, convincing, and legitimate reason to cite discrimination.

The question then, I suppose, is why you are trying to make fun of or denigrate that reason.
 
Nov 29, 2006
15,886
4,436
136
My sarcasm meter may be broken.

In short, don't get married only because of the benefits, thus, cheapening it.

I was being sort of serious. In the eyes of the law a marriage is a legal contract that has certain perks or benefits. If people are upset gays want these same perks/benefits then lets just get rid of all of them for hetro or gay marriages.

Of course hetro couples would not like that, thus nullifying their arguement about gays wanting marraige just for benefits.
 

nehalem256

Lifer
Apr 13, 2012
15,669
8
0
It is in this country, according to the vast majority of SSM opponents.

I think you mean PROPONENTS. Considering their basic strategy is to paint anyone who opposes SSM as a member of the Christian Taliban who wants to force their religion on others.
 

nehalem256

Lifer
Apr 13, 2012
15,669
8
0
No more seeing your wife on her death bed etc.

(1) Because only married couples are allowed to visit in hospitals... (from experience you are lying).

(2) Assume you are correct. Could we maybe come up with an even better solution? What about 2 unmarried straight people who have been BFFs for 40 years? Shouldnt they be able to visit in the hospital as well?