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Macguyver ain't got nothing on me!

vi edit

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Bought a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale to bring back to the hotel room to sip on after a very long day. Go to get my leatherman out of my luggage and realize the fscking security checkers at the airport swiped it (only place it could have gone, and a whole thread in itself)

So anywho, here I was stuck with a bottle of beer with no bottle opener to rescue this heavenly brew from it's prision of glass and steel.

I get up look around, walk into the bathroom and see the kleenex dispenser with the stainless steel cover with a small slit for the kleenex to poke through. Eyeball that for a second, take a mental measurement of the slit, grab the bottle and check it out. Perfect fit. So I yank the cover off of the wall, hold it over the counter top and "PSSSH"!

My beer is free!

Thank you for reading this completely retarded post. I'm running on 3.5 hours of sleep since yesterday morning at 8:00.
 
*claps* Good Job mate.

Hmm in Mexico we used to open our bottles by sticking the cap on the security bars on the windows and pop it down. Gatta watch the broken bottles. Cut myself a couple times.
 
When you can open a locked door with nothing more than a zip tie, then you rival me in the use of trivial items for grandiose purposes. Besides, you could have just been a real man and used your teeth or *gasp* the edge of a counter, door or table to the same effect.
 
Nice. But you don't rival what's his face until your have used a medium duty spoon, baling wire, and hairspray to make a sattellite dish to check your email on.
 
Originally posted by: Rogue
When you can open a locked door with nothing more than a zip tie, then you rival me in the use of trivial items for grandiose purposes. Besides, you could have just been a real man and used your teeth or *gasp* the edge of a counter, door or table to the same effect.
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I used to use those plastic hotel keys to "open" doors that didn't have a dead bolt or a piece of trim blocking access to locking mechanism in the door.

Zip tie would work well too, but I don't know if you could get very good leverage with it.
 
Not really on topic, but I'm going to share some useful info I've come across. Those metal slides on floppies are THE absolutely best things to jimmy door latches with and easily fit into a wallet. Use this knowlege for good and not evil young ones.
 
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
You didn't use any household chemicals that hust *happen* to be lying around or your swiss army knife. MacGyver kicks your ass!
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It's a hotel so I'd have to break into the cleaning closet to aquire those, and for the swiss army knife...I *HAD* a leatherman...but it mysteriously disapearred between the time I checked my luggage at the airport and opened my luggage after picking it up at the baggage claim.
 
Arg. I know what you mean, vi_edit. I used to have that Bo Jackson Baseball/Football reversable handheld LCD game. My mom says she saw some kid walking away from our baggage claim with one too. I was all happy that some other kid was just as cool as I was 😎 -then I got my bag and realized that the side pocket (mesh screen) was unzipped and it was gone. :|
 
The female end of a deadbolt system works well for a bottle opener too. I suspect you could probably use one of those swinging latch locks that hotels have too.
 
Originally posted by: BillGates
The female end of a deadbolt system works well for a bottle opener too. I suspect you could probably use one of those swinging latch locks that hotels have too.
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Tried the latch lock, but it was too rounded off and I couldn't get a good "bite" on the cap.
 
Originally posted by: DeRusto
people use bottle openers? i always just twist the cap off with my hand
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Yeh, maybe if you are drinking miller lite or budweiser. Most "premium" beers don't have twist off caps. You try twisting it off and you'll turn your hands into hamburger.
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Originally posted by: DeRusto
people use bottle openers? i always just twist the cap off with my hand
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Yeh, maybe if you are drinking miller lite or budweiser. Most "premium" beers don't have twist off caps. You try twisting it off and you'll turn your hands into hamburger.
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Eh, I don't know about that. It's true "premium" beers generally don't have twist off caps and cheap beers generally do, but there are aways exceptions. Besides, I'm not sure I'd call Newcastle Brown Ale premium beer 😛 I kid of course, you never knock a man his choice of beer 😀
 
Hey MacGuyver, the easiest way to open a bottle with NOTHING is to find any horizontal surface that has a sharp edge and put the lip of the cap on the edge....a quick jab with your palm opens them everytime. Great when you are sitting on a picnic table in the dark with a 12 pack and no opener.
 
Besides, I'm not sure I'd call Newcastle Brown Ale premium beer I kid of course, you never knock a man his choice of beer
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In the dichotomy of beers available at a hole in the wall supermarket near my hotel, Newcastle was most certainly a "premium" beer among the selection of Pabst, Mickey's, Old English, Miller High Life, Bud Lite, and Natty light ice.
 
Originally posted by: Ronstang
Hey MacGuyver, the easiest way to open a bottle with NOTHING is to find any horizontal surface that has a sharp edge and put the lip of the cap on the edge....a quick jab with your palm opens them everytime. Great when you are sitting on a picnic table in the dark with a 12 pack and no opener.
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I considered that, but didn't feel like potentially damaging the nice oak desk & dresser, or the marble counter top.
 
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