found it!  i knew i had the answer to this question in an old email somewhere! 
The Mac Zealot Creed
If it was written down, this is what it would look like.
1. Know that by choosing the Mac you have shown that you are an incredibly intelligent and discerning individual. Any attack on the Mac is an attack on you personally. Those people who attack the Mac didn't choose the Mac, hence they are not intelligent or discerning, therefore any personal attacks on them are entirely justified.
2. Know that the Mac is the best. It is the best for everything. It is the best for everything, always was, and always will be. If the Mac were not the best computer then you would not have been intelligent and discerning to pick it. Some things about the Mac and Apple may seem bad, but be sure they can all be explained eventually. Blind faith will sustain you when all else is gone. 
3. Information is dangerous. It can put doubt in your mind. Only get your information from Apple and sources friendly to Apple. In this way you can refuse to believe anything said by people who attack the Mac; because they didn't choose the Mac, they are gullible and will believe anything.
4. All competitors to Apple (no matter how big) see Apple as their number one threat. Because of this they are actively trying to crush Apple by illegal means. Your actions (no matter what) are entirely justified, because you are just fighting back. This is war and you are a soldier.
5. Because the competition is trying to unfairly crush Apple, you are justified in speaking out for Apple whenever and wherever. In fact, it is your duty. Speaking out for Apple is far more important than having friends or a job.
6. You have no bad points (you chose a Mac so that must be true), therefore people who attack the Mac cannot be a mirror image of you. They worship Bill Gates and are in love with their Windows machines. They will accept any old crap that Microsoft offers. You know this simply because you're intelligent and perceptive; no Mac users display similar feelings toward Apple.
7. Never voice your feelings in any forum where others can oppose you. They will attempt to shake your beliefs by introducing "facts" which are not mentioned at Apple or any pro-Mac sites, therefore they are probably false. If there is any supporting evidence, these "facts" are certainly FUD, and you should say so.
8. There are over 40 Mac advocacy sites where information about Apple can be given free of all risk of contradiction. Visit these sites often and supply articles, information, and encouragement. New writers are always needed; if you can't think of anything to say, make up something that you'd like to see happen.
9. People on Mac sites have gone to great pains to make sure that their information is accurate and balanced. You can therefore spread this around without worrying about checking anything.
10. At any given time Apple has either just released or is soon to release some new technology that will bring the Wintel world to its knees. At all times whatever technology Apple adopts is superior to that of Wintel, unless it's the same as Wintel, in which case Apple does it better. Most people who criticize Apple don't know this, so it's your duty to tell them.
11. Apple, unlike any other company, is run for the betterment of humankind, not to make money. All employees of Apple are the best of their kind. Apple advertising is 100 percent factual and is not - nor ever has been - misleading. Counter false Wintel propaganda by making this known whenever possible.
12. Using a Mac is such a wonderful experience that only Wintel bigotry and misinformation prevents Wintel users deserting in droves. Encourage Wintel users to try (or better still, buy) a Mac. Assure them they'll instantly find it worthwhile. However, keep yourself pure by declaring that you'll never use a PC. This actually helps Wintel users realize how much difference there is.
13. Information about Macs is most reliable and meaningful if it is the most favorable to Apple. Less favorable information is less reliable even if it comes from independent sources, is independently corroborated, or is more recent. However, certain things are a given. Macs are cheaper and faster than Wintel and cost less to support. As these things are obviously true, you should point out to Wintel users who deny this that they're misinformed.
14. Information about Apple is best if it's in a vacuum. Any figures about the success of the company should be absolute and not comparitive. Thus increased sales and record revenues are far more important than market share or growth against competitors. Within an overall market share there are always areas where sales are better, so always quote these.
15. Steve Jobs is the Savior of Apple. Everything the Steve says (especially keynote speeches) must be carefully preserved in QuickTime and stored for daily devotional use. As an Apple devotee it is your duty to invite your friends to listen to Jobs' keynote speeches, as only the beautiful resonance of the Steve's voice can truly convert the wayward Wintel wanderer to the One True Platform.
16. As a Mac user, you must at all times refer to PCs as "Wintel" machines. Disregard any attempts that a Wintel user may make as to demonstrate that his Wintel box doesn't have Windows on it, or Intel inside. You have never seen a PC without Windows on it, or the little "Intel inside" sticker, so you know that they don't exist. Besides, the Wintel user is trying to bring up "facts" again. Don't listen to him. See rule #6.