hi everyone. i hope you take the time to give me some good, solid advice. i have fallen in love with a girl on icq. this is not just some cyber love thing. this is for real. we both feel strongly about one another and have talked on the phone on numerous occassions. the only thing that's limiting us is the distance. i live in south carolina and she lives in manitoba, canada. unfortunately she has gotten over an abusive relationship (her ex beat her up pretty badly). even though we are both in love, she is a bit hesitant to take this further due to her fears from past relationships. slowly, she is healing from her mental and physical wounds. i want to convince her that not all guys are like her past boyfriends. do you think this could work out? we already made a vow to meet in the near future. i just don't want to miss what could possibly be the true love of my life. thanks for any input.
lovers on icq
- Thread starter Charay
- Start date
Rebound relationship?
The problem with on-line relationships is that you don't really know how the other person is really like until you have spent some time with them....and not for 3 days over a long weekend either. Much of the emotion gets lost when talking talking/IRC-ing/ICQ-ing on line.....
Some people also act in a completely different manner in real life as opposed to on-line.
Meet, spend some time together and then really get to know each other before going for it. Too often I have seen people getting into relationships like this and end up getting hurt later because it didn't work out.....they were not quite right for each other or all sorts of other problems. Also, when you meet up, you need to do it for a continuous period....a 3 day long weekend here and there is simply like a holiday....you can be a completely different person and manage to keep it up for just a few days at a time....but what happens when you spend longer? Can you stand being around the sort of person that they really are?
I'm not trying to rain on your party.....just some words of caution. If things work out, then I wish you the best of luck. If not, then well...
The problem with on-line relationships is that you don't really know how the other person is really like until you have spent some time with them....and not for 3 days over a long weekend either. Much of the emotion gets lost when talking talking/IRC-ing/ICQ-ing on line.....
Some people also act in a completely different manner in real life as opposed to on-line.
Meet, spend some time together and then really get to know each other before going for it. Too often I have seen people getting into relationships like this and end up getting hurt later because it didn't work out.....they were not quite right for each other or all sorts of other problems. Also, when you meet up, you need to do it for a continuous period....a 3 day long weekend here and there is simply like a holiday....you can be a completely different person and manage to keep it up for just a few days at a time....but what happens when you spend longer? Can you stand being around the sort of person that they really are?
I'm not trying to rain on your party.....just some words of caution. If things work out, then I wish you the best of luck. If not, then well...
kami
Lifer
- Oct 9, 1999
- 17,627
- 5
- 81
how old are you guys? If you're still in school, manitoba to SC is quite a distance.
I'm not going to discourage you...because it COULD work out between you two. But you have to remember it's never going to do so online and you must spend a lot of time with the person in "real life."
also, how long have you been talking? and i hope you guys are at least using the phone. if not, you really have no idea who the other person is.
I'm not going to discourage you...because it COULD work out between you two. But you have to remember it's never going to do so online and you must spend a lot of time with the person in "real life."
also, how long have you been talking? and i hope you guys are at least using the phone. if not, you really have no idea who the other person is.
I had a long-distance relationship with a girl who lived 6 hours away (Eastern Ontario,Canada to Southwestern Pennsylvania, USA) and we made it work for a year and a half.
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
I had a long-distance relationship with a girl who lived 6 hours away (Eastern Ontario,Canada to Southwestern Pennsylvania, USA) and we made it work for a year and a half.
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
I had a long-distance relationship with a girl who lived 6 hours away (Eastern Ontario,Canada to Southwestern Pennsylvania, USA) and we made it work for a year and a half.
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
I had a long-distance relationship with a girl who lived 6 hours away (Eastern Ontario,Canada to Southwestern Pennsylvania, USA) and we made it work for a year and a half.
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
Once again, I'm in another long-distance relationship (moved to Toronto from Brockville, and I'm still going out with my sweetie in highschool), fortunately, she's only 3 hours away.
PERSONALLY, I'd recommend that you stay away from long-distance relationships. I'd never do it again by choice.
Although with that kind of distance, you REALLY get to know the other person intimately in a mental sense, you're really going to miss out on the physical part. You may think that you can survive without it, but trust me, if you see her once and get physical, then you have to leave her for 3 to 6 months or longer, YOU'LL WANT HER BAD, and it will kill you inside.
Also, there is a money concern. The more often you want to meet, the more its going to cost you. I'm not exactly sure how far Manitoba is from South Carolina, but I think your travel options are limited to flight or driving.
Also, I completely agree with what AndyHui says. The rebound part is very true, and the lost emotion online is just oh-so true. Even spending a week with someone, you don't TRULY get comfortable with them. Most of us still wear our masks when we get together with someone for a long while before you let your real self show.
Do what AndyHui says, get together as FRIENDS first. Hang out, talk, get familiar. If you feel she's worth pursuing, then by all means, go for it, but beware the cautions I stated above.
Good luck to you
I tried it with someone who lived 5 hours away once. Its tough, the phone bills get expensive since text just cant replace another persons voice. Is it possible that one of you could relocate in the near future if you both want it? Thats the only way I can see it working
Chip...
If she's your little sister, I'm about to be your brother in law...
On another note, I'd have to agree with Soybomb. If you have ANY intention of taking this all the way (eg marry her) then one of you needs to move. I'll probably be moving to PA for that very reason. Just as a final comfirmation that things are good before "I do" makes it permanent. Until then, I'll continue paying the phone bills & missing her like crazy. Which is a big part of long distance relationships.
Viper GTS
If she's your little sister, I'm about to be your brother in law...
On another note, I'd have to agree with Soybomb. If you have ANY intention of taking this all the way (eg marry her) then one of you needs to move. I'll probably be moving to PA for that very reason. Just as a final comfirmation that things are good before "I do" makes it permanent. Until then, I'll continue paying the phone bills & missing her like crazy. Which is a big part of long distance relationships.
Viper GTS
Because I'd rather lay in bed & talk than sit by my noisy computer, & because it's way too convenient to pick up my phone that's right by my head & dial when I want to talk to her.
Viper GTS
Viper GTS
My advice to the author of the original post:
RUN!
You will end up paying the price for everything that all of these other guys have done to her. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but that's how it always works out. Trust me, I've been there.
RUN!
You will end up paying the price for everything that all of these other guys have done to her. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but that's how it always works out. Trust me, I've been there.
I had done something foolish like this...... it is dum, believe me i spent thousands of dolaars on phone calls - and when we finally met she was nothing (not even close) to the personality on email (icq, chat blah bla).
now i am sure ur girl must be great and who knows may be u guys will just get along with each other.
so if u really think she is all worth it - go for it, meet her, have fun.... maybe it will just turn out good
now i am sure ur girl must be great and who knows may be u guys will just get along with each other.
so if u really think she is all worth it - go for it, meet her, have fun.... maybe it will just turn out good
silverspear...
I wouldn't say it's foolish. It has as many advantages as it does disadvantages, & in today's society INTRANATIONAL mobility is easily achieved. Long distance isn't that big of a deal anymore.
Viper GTS
I wouldn't say it's foolish. It has as many advantages as it does disadvantages, & in today's society
INTRANATIONAL mobility is easily achieved. Long distance isn't that big of a deal anymore.Viper GTS
maybe i should not argue with viper (as said earlier i have strong belief he is anand in disguise)
i am 26 and she is 25. this love thing is not a joke and i wish some people would just give us a chance. we have gotten to know each other well and have talked on the phone numerous times, and yes we know what each other looks like and we are very satisfied. if we are in love then we are and that's not going to change even if we are far apart and our main source of communication is icq. so what? i am willing to take a risk and see what happens. she could be the one for me and that's all i have to say. thanks for all of your input.
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