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Love is so crazy

JohnCU

JohnCU

Banned
I've posted about this before, but I'm gonna do it again.

I met this girl back on January 24. Started going out February 17. Fell completely in love with her. She broke up with me on April 21 because of our differences that she wasn't willing to resolve at that time. June comes around and she talks about getting back together. Then, I think she regrets saying that (I sent her a big ass email about how I love her and blah blah blah) and we don't talk the whole month of July. Then we kinda talked a little bit and both of us wanted to go out together before I leave for college next week so we went out last night.

Had a nice dinner ($55 bill - I paid of course) then rode around the beach. We talked but I don't think she wanted to talk about "us" so it was more or less friendly chit-chat. I took her home, gave her a big hug, came home, realize how much I still love her.

I don't think she wants to get back together, although I'm not sure, I'm going to college next week (280 miles away) but I would be able to come home every 3 weeks. I don't know if that bothers her because she is very very busy with sports and school on the weekends so she wouldn't be able to see me if I was home anyway.

The part that scares me so much is how much I love her. She used to be this perfect angel that I thought did no wrong, but I realized how much she hurt me (and others she has hurt) but I still manage to overlook all that. Many of my friends have told me I would never love anyone as much as her (even though we only went out for 2 months, 4 days, she was still my first love) and that is just too much for me to accept.

I want to be married and have a great life one day, but I want to be able to love another girl as much as I love her, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to.

Any one with similiar experiences?
 
You only went out for 2 months and you think you were genuinely in love? Speaking from experience that was just infatuation. Forget about her and go to college. The girls with whom you can be infatuated, the girls who will give you that "in love" feeling- a dime a dozen. I hate to be an ass about it, but someone has to tell it like it is. It's generally a good idea to be single when you enter college. You'll thank me later. I accept Paypal.
 
I think you realy like her, love is something that takes alot of time to developp, trust me you will get over her alot easilly that you think.
 
Originally posted by: guapo337

and if you dont believe me about experiencing all this, just ask pyonir. he read every damn thread i wrote about it...
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all 127 of them.

Dismal, i've been in the same situation. it is best to move on. Try and forget about her. It's been three years for me, and i'm still trying to forget her.
 
Maybe you scared her off by professing your undying love after 2 months? I would have headed for the hills myself if I heard that.
 
Originally posted by: Dismal
3 years??
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yep. ever see swingers? like mikey, as time goes by, you think of her less and less and after a while, you just don't think about her at all. Or you find someone else that gives you the same feelings that she did.
 
Kevin is right, no matter what you're feelings are, you have to realize your small perspective and experience. She may be a great girl, and your paths may cross again, but with you going away to college, it doesn't sound like this is the time. Its better to enter college fresh, meet all these new interesting people that have come from all over the world, and experience all these new experiences, without worrying about some girl back home who has hurt you before, and would like do it again. You think you love her, but college will teach you alot about love, and alot about how much, and in what way you love her. Stay in touch with her, but don't start a relationship, trust me, if you push it now, you likely won't even be friends with her later, and that might wreck any chance of you two getting together in the future. don't look back.....just glance 🙂
 
Don't listen to the people telling you that your emotions aren't genuine. You're the only person that knows that for sure...a random person on a public Internet forum can't tell if you love someone or not.

To be 100% honest with you, I'm in a somewhat similar situation right now, although it does have its differences. It scares the sh*t out of me to think about the fact that I'm going to have to leave her when I go off to college, and I have no idea how I'm going to handle it or if I'm ever going to feel that way about anyone ever again. But you've just gotta keep pushing on, no matter what happens...that's life. Although there are a ton of assholes out there, there are really a lot of genuinely good people in this world...it's just a matter of finding them. Who knows...maybe you'll find someone in a month and fall in love all over again 🙂

Good luck.
 
Dont be so naive as to think you only have one true love. If you only had ONE true love, the chances that youd actually meet her in this world of 8 billion something people is pretty damn small.

Your one true loves are all over the place. I remember back when I was 17 I thought I wanted to marry the girl I was with and she was my one and only true love. Looking back on that, I cant believe what an idiot I was.

Dont worry about it, youll meet someone new, in time.
 
To stress the point again. Forget about her right now. If you think you love her, let her go. If she comes back, then it's love, and if she doesn't, it never was!

Just so I'm not talking out of my arse here. I was with a particular girl for 2 years. We got together when I was a sophomore in high school, and when it was time for me to go to college, things got rough. Mainly because I was just going to college. But anyways, we tried to stay together but broke up shortly after I got to college. It was on good terms and we both agreed that it'd be best that way, that neither of us needed to be subjected to a long distance relationship in the most formative years of our lives (I moved to Davis, CA, she moved to Bellevue, WA). So I forgot about her. I've had 3 girlfriends since her in the 3 years I haven't seen her.

I saw her again last month. She's thinking about moving back to the Bay Area, where I'll be after college. There was still a "spark" when I saw her.

True love waits, don't wait for it.
 
She is taking advantage of you.
You are in love with the *IMAGE* in your mind of her. That image is much more than she is.
You deserve much better than someone who uses you, but you will learn the hard way.
I just hope that by the time you understand (if ever) it won't be too late for true love.
 
It seems that you're just going around in circles if you keep worrying about if you should stay with her and how much you love her, and how you'll never find anybody else. Bullsh*t, just wait until you get to college....assuming that it's a decent one, with females, it'll be a life like you've never had, and you'll find girls that will make you feel just as good. The first love is always good, believe me, I know, but give yourself some time, and when you look back, you'll realize that it wasn't that important.

And if you get back together with her, seeing her every 3 weeks, it'll be easy to think that everything is good since you'll miss each other and forget everything that was on your mind when you're together......but when you can be with the same girl constantly and still love her just as much, that's a keeper.

I'm tired.
 
I hope that next time you can love someone who is equally loving back and and won't hurt you...don't you think you deserve that? Have some respect for yourself and move on. There is someone out there who is a good match for you but if you keep yourself obsessed with this "one girl" you'll miss out on another girl who might just be under your nose. It's really sad when guys feel that their one love is a girl who can't even treat them right or is non-reciprocal with their feelings. Isnt' there another girl worthy of your time?

BTW, what's so special about this girl? Does she have some unique quality that you'll never find in any other girl? if it's just some "feeling" that you have with her, uhm....give yourself a chance....when you find a girl who feels the same way you do that feeling will multiple tenfold. Don't sell yourself short by closing yourself off from meeting any other girls. ESPECIALLY if you are heading off to college. In fact, I bet sometime this coming school year you are going to make another post about some chick you met in college who broke your heart and who was REALLY the one. 😛
 
I have never forgotten my first love, I just chose to realize that we were two very uncommon people who needed to have our own space. I still love him like he was a brother. Not that you can't care for someone after you leave, you just have to let it go if you are too different for eachother that it caused you to break up in the first place.
 
im in a kind of same situation.

im a female, dated a guy from the same company (diff dept). things went just ok
reason why i went out with him was cuz i do kind of believe in giving others and myself the chances, since you never try never know if things would work out....but after couple of times of going out i have deicded he is really not the one that i would like to spend time with..so told him that....and he agreed..of course i didn't tell him the whole truth of stopping going out with him.. my personal reasons were..hum. (his future.. he doesn't make as much money..i make a little bit more than he is.. *he is just my height..or a bit shorter than im*. he is no fun.. he gives no freedom..like you have to call him right away after work..after this..you got to call him right away..otherwise he would question me what i was doing in that period of time..balbala...and now he still keeps telling other co-workers that he still likes me..this and that..that makes me so confused...
 
Its better to enter college fresh, meet all these new interesting people that have come from all over the world, and experience all these new experiences
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And have sex with them. Sex...dont' forget the SEX! 😀 Two months? Dude, I keep leftovers in the fridge longer than that. Trust me; the very first really pretty girl that pulls on your crank, will make you forget her name? Who? Riiiiiiiight. See? It works.
 
Originally posted by: weezergirl
I hope that next time you can love someone who is equally loving back and and won't hurt you...don't you think you deserve that? Have some respect for yourself and move on. There is someone out there who is a good match for you but if you keep yourself obsessed with this "one girl" you'll miss out on another girl who might just be under your nose. It's really sad when guys feel that their one love is a girl who can't even treat them right or is non-reciprocal with their feelings. Isnt' there another girl worthy of your time?

BTW, what's so special about this girl? Does she have some unique quality that you'll never find in any other girl? if it's just some "feeling" that you have with her, uhm....give yourself a chance....when you find a girl who feels the same way you do that feeling will multiple tenfold. Don't sell yourself short by closing yourself off from meeting any other girls. ESPECIALLY if you are heading off to college. In fact, I bet sometime this coming school year you are going to make another post about some chick you met in college who broke your heart and who was REALLY the one. 😛
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She said it all. Well, most of it at least... 😉

I've dated two girls seriously, and I still have feelings for both of them. But it's just *feelings*, and a nice thing about feelings is that you never will run out of them. True, you'll never have another *first* one, but you WILL discover that when your heart and your mind are in unison, it is a beautiful thing. Remember that if you're playing for keeps (and you sound like you are), then you gotta think with your head -- the one on your shoulders.
🙂
 
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