Looking for opinions

[bigd480]

that does sound really whack but it's better than the alternative...

i know a spoiled-ass girl whose parents are in financial trouble but she spends her parents money like they're millionaires... she is 18, has never earned a dime, has no concept of money whatsoever, and will probably be forever dependent on someone else for money...

Sad part: it's the parents' fault... you have to teach your kids the value of hard work and earning what you have... that's going to be one of the main things i teach my kids because otherwise if you become dependent on others to support you you're screwed...

i've been paying for almost all of my own stuff since i started working at 16, including college... not cuz i had to, i just like being able to fully support myself...

 

[Isla]

Heck, I GIVE my 14 year old $15 a week allowance. In return, I expect her to help me out around the house and with her little sister and brother, and she more than earns her keep. I expect her to use her earnings wisely, and she does.

I haven't read the whole thread so I don't want to make any assumptions, but I will tell a story...

The Mister's parents are well off and yet they always lived beyond their means, even coming close to bancruptcy once. Oh, my MIL has the finest custom made furniture and a collection of jewelry that is worth nearly 100K... but she never spent a dime on her children. No piano lessons, no health insurance (so very little medical care), no college, no nothing. Yet in return, she expected her kids to wait on her hand and foot, spending every weekend working for her on her 'mini estate'. My husband once described it as "indentured servitude". I have lots of examples of her interminable selfishness, but I'll give you my favorite:

For her oldest daughter's 18th birthday, she found a Queen Anne style 'highboy' dresser on sale for about $500. This was a combination bithday and Christmas present because the girl's birthday is right before Christmas.

Four years later, the daughter married. As she went to move out of the house, she tried to take her highboy dresser with her. My MIL would not let her.

Apparently, the 'gift' was allowing her to use such a fine piece of furniture for a few years.

Gee, thanks Mom.

 

[Ariel]

I would think it acceptable if the parents were taking the money and setting it aside for them (savings account, educational IRA), but since you have stated that they are not doing that, I find it unacceptable. Also, since the family is not struggling financially, I find it even worse. I feel sorry for those kids. Do the parents think they are teaching the kids a lesson or something? If so, what is the lesson because I can't see it?

 

[Helpless]

I think it's a good lesson for them, as they will see what will happen when they are on their own and Uncle Sam swoops in to collect nearly have their checks for social programs.

 

[VRoOMdesigns]

How do these kids get these jobs!? I'm in college and they're making more than I am this summer!

 

[DannyLove]

well it all depends on their financial status. My bestfriend in HS worked and worked and worked and most of his money was coughed up to his dad since they werent all that financially stable. However, if there isn't a need for such money, (which 60 and 90 a week isnt much) then I find it disturbing for the parents to actually accept that money. Its only 60 and 90 bucks, for a kid its a dream! but for parents it shouldn't mean much since they are working themself. Again, this all depends on the status. I also do know that most Asain families are like this.

As for me, my parents never asked for half my paycheck or anything like that, and werent all that rich. My dad never asked me for money, and I didnt see why he should. I certainly think something needs to be done, they are only 12!!!!

danny~:|!?

 

[DannyLove]

<< Why is this revolting? Do they live at home? Are they eating meals there? Are their parents providing everything for them? The real world can be a shock at times, but the sooner you discover it, the better prepared you'll be to deal with it. So, what exactly is revolting? >>

OF COURSE THEY LIVE AT HOME, they are barely 12 and 15, and thats no excuse for parents to deduct money from them. Of course they are eating food and all that, thats what PARENTS are suppose to be doing, supporting their kids until they are ready to leave the nest! omg! i can't believe you questioned that.

danny~!

 

[Carbo]

<< Of course they are eating food and all that, thats what PARENTS are suppose to be doing, supporting their kids until they are ready to leave the nest! omg! i can't believe you questioned that. >>

Parents are supposed to support their kids until the KID decides he or she is ready? Is that acceptable at 20? 30? What's the official cutoff age? I realize these two are 12 and 15, but shouldn't parents be more than just a financial support? Shouldn't a big part of parenting be teaching? In this case, teachng the relationship between working for a dollar, and teaching that when you've got a buck in your hand the fun things to do with the money must wait until the necessities are taken care of.

 

[DannyLove]

<< wait until the necessities are taken care of. >>

and what might that be?
I don't know when the cutoff point is, but its the parents to use their best judgement. But taking money from 15 and 12 year olds is uncalled for unless they are having financial problems. By taking money from them is not teaching them anything but to hate their parents for doing it. If you see it as some type of tax then you're all wrong.

danny~!

 

[vi edit]

For those saying that &quot;it's a good lesson&quot; for the kids, I think you are off base on this.

A parent taking money from a child teaches nothing except for the fact that it will be teach them to take the same approach twords their children. It's a cycle that will just keep rolling, and what purpose does it serve?

If you want to teach a kid a lesson about financial responsibility, do it in a *GASP* responsible way. Teach them the concept of saving and long term investments. Show them the bills for that monthly mortgage, show them the car payment bills, show them that $150 a week grocery bill. My parents did this to me, so moving out on my own was no big shock. I knew that nothing was free and I knew the expenses I was going to incur when I had my own apartment. It was also very helpful now that I own my own home.

Simply taking a childs money and using for your own needs teaches nothing.

 

[JohnnyKnoxville]

Hey myputer,these parents wouldn't happen to be Democrats would they????

 

[vi edit]

Also, I think that it is noble enough that the children are out working and making THEIR own money instead of sitting back, and expecting mom and dad to hand it to them.

 

[Total Refected Power]

Parents are supposed to support their kids until the KID decides he or she is ready? Is that acceptable at 20? 30? What's the official cutoff age? I realize these two are 12 and 15, but shouldn't parents be more than just a financial support? Shouldn't a big part of parenting be teaching? In this case, teachng the relationship between working for a dollar, and teaching that when you've got a buck in your hand the fun things to do with the money must wait until the necessities are taken care of.

They are kids for Moses sake. They are learning about how to be responsible and that there are rewards to working. We don't have to learn every lesson at once when we are growing up! Taking 1/2 their money is unreasonable and may have the opposite effect. Part of being a working kid is saving up for that skateboard or a new stereo. Not paying off Mom and Dad. Geessh.

 

[DannyLove]

<< Also, I think that it is noble enough that the children are out working and making THEIR own money instead of sitting back, and expecting mom and dad to hand it to them. >>

i fully agree there too. I was once like that for a short time and I felt extremely bad when my dad handed me money. After I got my first real job and earning more cash I refused to take any money from them. I now live on my own and I manage my money pretty well thanks to my parents.

danny~!

 

[Viper GTS]

Why is this revolting? Do they live at home? Are they eating meals there? Are their parents providing everything for them? The real world can be a shock at times, but the sooner you discover it, the better prepared you'll be to deal with it. So, what exactly is revolting?

The fact that they are being taken advantage of.

When I was that age my mom took me &amp; my siblings to pick berries since there was nothing else we could do. Six hours a day, 5 days a week. We didn't make much money (I made around $45 a week at 12), but it was ours. We could do whatever we wanted with it.

I was free to do what I wanted with all of my money until I quit school. Even then, my parents didn't start charging me rent until I started the job I have now. I was 17 &amp; bringing home $1,300 a month. At that point I started paying $400 a month rent. Did/do I like it? Of course not. I pay $400 for one room. But that was the deal if I wasn't in school.

Taking 50% of a 12/15 year old's income is ridiculous.

Viper GTS

 

[Bosec]

That is not fair to the kids they need to learn how to manage thier full amount of money. Seems to me the lesson these kids are learning is someone is always taking you money one way or another. But I can see how confronting a parent on his/her parenting would be a bit uncomfortable.