Siddhartha
Lifer
- Oct 17, 1999
- 12,505
- 3
- 81
Your SO sexual interests do not reflect on you. You may have the wrong SO.
Trying to force him to stop expressing his sexuality will only lead to long-term trouble. Going by some of the threads and posts I have read on this forum there are guys who do not like porn. There are guys(?) on this forum who say they are not interested in sex at all. Start hanging out, church(?), with people who have to the same views you do.
My ex felt the same way you do, but it was a little more sever. She wouldn't even tolerate nudity in movies, and if I made the mistake of glancing at another woman, LOOK OUT!! I didn't read porn mags, or own any porn movies. And this was before I ever "found" the internet. (Yeah, it's been THAT long....) I think this was one of the main reasons we broke up, and to make matters worse, in the end she had convinced ME that NO woman would want me because of my maleness. (Though that's not the way SHE put it) Her problem, as I see it all stemmed from a poor self image. And she was a very pretty lady, with nothing to worry about. She even admitted that she knew I would never cheat on her, but in the end that wasn't enough. Guys are guys and we do what we do. Not to hurt the one we love, but just because that?s the way nature made us.
I'm not saying he has to, just a suggestion. And regardless of how insignificant it may seem to you, it still is an issue for act. Talking about it should still be done. Maybe alternative forms of release can be found for him aside from porn. Who knows.
And a very good point is made...people are who they are. Maybe that will just ahve to be something Act accepts. Compromise works both way ya know.
apoppin
Lifer
911paramedic
Diamond Member
- Jan 7, 2002
- 9,448
- 1
- 76
If it's not a problem for him, like interfering with daily activities or social contact, it's fine.
If you really feel threatened by a picture of a naked woman you need to look at yourself, not him. I truly think this is some sort of insecurity on your part, sorry but that's how I see it.
If you really feel threatened by a picture of a naked woman you need to look at yourself, not him. I truly think this is some sort of insecurity on your part, sorry but that's how I see it.
You neglected to mention if its a on going thing, like daily for example. Is he addicted, does he say things like "hey I read about this thing in a porn mag and want to try it", does he compare you to these women etc.
If he's comparing you, then you have a problem. But if he's just reading or looking at them and is still into you yourself the way you naturally are then I think you have insecurities that you need to get over. If you don't you might be the one to create problems in the relationship.
If you are with him, it is your business, but unless it is an addiction I dont think there is any reason to ask him to stop.
A relationship takes two and open communication. Either of you shouldn't have anything to hide.
My s/o has never been into porn so I can't say I know the feeling. He hates the internet, and cant be bothered to spend money on mags or other materials. Read: He's cheap I did get worried once and ask him why he didn't want to see that stuff and to my surprise his responce was "why do I need that crap when I have you"
<-- lucky
If he's comparing you, then you have a problem. But if he's just reading or looking at them and is still into you yourself the way you naturally are then I think you have insecurities that you need to get over. If you don't you might be the one to create problems in the relationship.
If you are with him, it is your business, but unless it is an addiction I dont think there is any reason to ask him to stop.
A relationship takes two and open communication. Either of you shouldn't have anything to hide.
My s/o has never been into porn so I can't say I know the feeling. He hates the internet, and cant be bothered to spend money on mags or other materials. Read: He's cheap I did get worried once and ask him why he didn't want to see that stuff and to my surprise his responce was "why do I need that crap when I have you"
<-- lucky
MustangSVT
Lifer
- Oct 7, 2000
- 11,554
- 12
- 81
Hmm i just heard this song and thought it might answer some of your question.
listen to Mambo#5
(now he was a one hit wonder
)
listen to Mambo#5
(now he was a one hit wonder
)I used to look at p0rn when i was with my g/f. wasn't alot or even regulary, and never when we were having it regulary. I don't know why I looked, but whenever I did, I would see her and think of her and it wouold remind me of things that we had done, sh!t, I still do know it, is quite annoying
your concerns at legitimate.. I took a Sociology 152A class (human sexuality) and that class has taught me enough to become a "SEXPERT" on this particular conversation.
What your boyfriend doing to you is not fair. A relationship involves two beings, not just one. what he is doing, watching porn, is a selfish act because it is making the other partner feel uncomfortable. Of course, you may be getting "ENOUGH" but even so, the thouht of your partner fantasizing about having images of other females would make you uncomfortable.
My recommendation is to talk about this with your partner. If you don't talk about your feelins, you'll never know and this build up of negative emotions will eventually build up to a pinnacle state where you can't hold it in anymore and you'll release it by throwing a rampage.
Just talk with him.
What your boyfriend doing to you is not fair. A relationship involves two beings, not just one. what he is doing, watching porn, is a selfish act because it is making the other partner feel uncomfortable. Of course, you may be getting "ENOUGH" but even so, the thouht of your partner fantasizing about having images of other females would make you uncomfortable.
My recommendation is to talk about this with your partner. If you don't talk about your feelins, you'll never know and this build up of negative emotions will eventually build up to a pinnacle state where you can't hold it in anymore and you'll release it by throwing a rampage.
Just talk with him.
Judgement
Diamond Member
- Feb 8, 2001
- 3,815
- 0
- 0
Not all, but I'd say most men interact with porn on at least an occasional basis. Yes men can control their body and resist if they know it makes their girlfriend upset... but they shouldn't have to. Men and women have different needs and urges. Men typically have a stronger sexual urge then women. Even if you're in love and never actually want to have sex with another woman there are deep seated natural urges which can be easily remedies with porn. Humans are really just another animal... and as with other animals its the males job to spread his seed to as many different females as possible before he dies. Human emotions conflict with this though.
Seriously its just another urge similar to a woman's urge to shop because typically they are more materialistic then men. You should not feel anymore upset over him watching porno then he does when you go shopping without him. If we (humans) hadn't been raised condemning sex and physical relationships so much this wouldn't be a problem imo.
i have a girlfriend,
i am not dead;
i look at other stuff.
i don't go chasing it.
don't worry about it unless your man is looking at men,
Or if he stops looking at other women,you better check his pulse!
i am not dead;
i look at other stuff.
i don't go chasing it.
don't worry about it unless your man is looking at men,
Or if he stops looking at other women,you better check his pulse!
HomeBrewerDude
Lifer
- Jan 18, 2001
- 14,465
- 1
- 0
no, not all men look at porn. many do tho.
You have 2 issues to work out.
1st issue: How do you communicate and resolve this conflict with your sig other. EVERY relationship has problems. Healthy relationships can work through those problems.
2nd issue: You have to resolve the 1st issue before you can decide if 1) You don't want to be with a guy that looks at porn, or 2) Your SO wants to be with a gal that doesn't allow him to look at porn.
good luck
You have 2 issues to work out.
1st issue: How do you communicate and resolve this conflict with your sig other. EVERY relationship has problems. Healthy relationships can work through those problems.
2nd issue: You have to resolve the 1st issue before you can decide if 1) You don't want to be with a guy that looks at porn, or 2) Your SO wants to be with a gal that doesn't allow him to look at porn.
good luck
Act,
You sound like an ex of mine from long ago. She wouldn't let me look at porn, mags, or even other women! We finally broke up because she was always trying to control me, and I wouldn't let her.
You need to relax. My wife let's me look at porn when I do feel like watching it which isn't often (sometimes she even watches it with me), I can look at other women, she's cool with it.
She just made it very clear: If I touch another woman, I am a Dead Man. :Q
You sound like an ex of mine from long ago. She wouldn't let me look at porn, mags, or even other women! We finally broke up because she was always trying to control me, and I wouldn't let her.
You need to relax. My wife let's me look at porn when I do feel like watching it which isn't often (sometimes she even watches it with me), I can look at other women, she's cool with it.
She just made it very clear: If I touch another woman, I am a Dead Man. :Q
OutHouse
Lifer
- Jun 5, 2000
- 36,410
- 616
- 126
Dude one class and your an "sexpert"???
WTF are your talking about! Man that instructor really brainwashed you. ACT was pretty vague on the details. You say what he is doing isnt fair to her, but maybe she isnt being fair to him. Relationships are a two way street. You need to keep your uneducated and uninformed opinions to yourself until you have done real social work.
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