Life still a bit of a mess, still need some advice

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: psydancerqt
stick with what you told yourself.. wait 3 months. it gets easier with time. you guys can work out the problems before getting back together and she can have the time as well to confirm that she wants to be with you... and then if/when you work everything out - this should help to avoid the same thing happening again.. of course that's just my opinion!

So should I attempt to hook up during these three months or just think about things? I'm a mess- I gained 20 pounds this year and I'm in no way ready to go after a girl...But should I even try during these three months?

 

[slackerinabox]

BTW, you guys are shockingly understanding today.. thanks! :beer:

I'll also be honest about my emotions... I'm falling in love with "sue" but am not sure if it's just post-dumpage loneliness.... We talk to each other everynight until like 4 or 5 and there's a definite emotional connection, but I'm definately not her type (she's tall, sexy, and sophisticated-getting her PHd in philosophy) so I don't think anything will happen.. And I'm cool with that as I enjoy just being in her company (I was oddly at ease during the movie I saw with her and actually made eye contact during dinner - that's very unusual for a basketcase like myself)... But, yeah, having a crush right after getting dumped makes my life even a bit messier...

 

[psydancerqt]

the 3 months are supposed to be about deciding what you want. not necessarily to find a new girl, but maybe. my ex told me he doesnt want to date me 'right now.' so i used my time to go out and meet new guys. i lost 20 pounds that summer!

if you're leaning towards getting back with your ex, then use the time for yourself. set your priorities in life straight. include her in your life, work out whatever other problems you have...

maybe trying to find a new girl, you can compare to your ex and that can help with your decisions

 

[slightlyhuman]

someone introduce this man to the 4 F"s.............

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: psydancerqt
the 3 months are supposed to be about deciding what you want. not necessarily to find a new girl, but maybe. my ex told me he doesnt want to date me 'right now.' so i used my time to go out and meet new guys. i lost 20 pounds that summer!

if you're leaning towards getting back with your ex, then use the time for yourself. set your priorities in life straight. include her in your life, work out whatever other problems you have...

maybe trying to find a new girl, you can compare to your ex and that can help with your decisions

My ex kept on hinting at finding new people instead of having a waiting period until recently... I think she realized that she was partially in the wrong...But, yeah, you're right.. I think I shouldn't take her back that easily..

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: derrickperry
someone introduce this man to the 4 F"s.............

Futons, Fruits, French Fries, and Fungus? I'm a bit confused..?

 

[slightlyhuman]

We talk to each other everynight until like 4 or 5 and there's a definite emotional connection

think about it bro, when your ex and you started doing things together for the first time, remember how fun it was, staying up till 5am talking on the phone, etc.

I did all that with my gf, havent done it in so long now. I hate the phone actually but will talk to her if she wants. Its a new girl so eveything is fun again. GIve it some time bro, dont jump into anything, you DONT need to go out with your ex right now cuz that empty feeling you have right now will be filled up while your with her and when the date/night is over it will come back again. give it time and if you feel this way in a few months then go back to her or atleast try.

remember, if its meant to be things will fall into place



good luck bud=]

 

[slightlyhuman]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: derrickperry
someone introduce this man to the 4 F"s.............

Futons, Fruits, French Fries, and Fungus? I'm a bit confused..?

hehe no.......

i was intending it as a joke but it means


find em
fing3r em
fvck em
forget em



(jk btw)

gl

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: derrickperry

We talk to each other everynight until like 4 or 5 and there's a definite emotional connection

think about it bro, when your ex and you started doing things together for the first time, remember how fun it was, staying up till 5am talking on the phone, etc.

I did all that with my gf, havent done it in so long now. I hate the phone actually but will talk to her if she wants. Its a new girl so eveything is fun again. GIve it some time bro, dont jump into anything, you DONT need to go out with your ex right now cuz that empty feeling you have right now will be filled up while your with her and when the date/night is over it will come back again. give it time and if you feel this way in a few months then go back to her or atleast try.

remember, if its meant to be things will fall into place



good luck bud=]

Thanks man, I really appreciate what you said. You're right, before we were actually dating (and falling in love) was probably the best part of our relationship... My big question is whether I should get back together with my ex if she wants to... I thought I'd rebound and play the field but, honestly, I don't have the sex drive or energy to do that... I'm also not the sorta guy that CAN play the field, know what I mean? I'm kinda indifferent about being in a relationship but find this drama stressful and honeslty tiresome - I really wish that everything would be back to normal... though running back to my ex so soon after she dumped me feels like I'm cheating myself for some reaosn..

 

[slackerinabox]

I don't want to abandon my threat but I need to get some air.. Would love to hear more thoughts though.. I'm going to make my move tonight..... Why does it feel like I'm cheating on my ex even though she dumped me? It's such an odd emotion...

 

[gururu]

seven years is too much. just postpone with the ex. let her chill out, since getting back together is really her problem. please oh please do not mislead the new chick.

 

[slightlyhuman]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: derrickperry

We talk to each other everynight until like 4 or 5 and there's a definite emotional connection

think about it bro, when your ex and you started doing things together for the first time, remember how fun it was, staying up till 5am talking on the phone, etc.

I did all that with my gf, havent done it in so long now. I hate the phone actually but will talk to her if she wants. Its a new girl so eveything is fun again. GIve it some time bro, dont jump into anything, you DONT need to go out with your ex right now cuz that empty feeling you have right now will be filled up while your with her and when the date/night is over it will come back again. give it time and if you feel this way in a few months then go back to her or atleast try.

remember, if its meant to be things will fall into place



good luck bud=]

Thanks man, I really appreciate what you said. You're right, before we were actually dating (and falling in love) was probably the best part of our relationship... My big question is whether I should get back together with my ex if she wants to... I thought I'd rebound and play the field but, honestly, I don't have the sex drive or energy to do that... I'm also not the sorta guy that CAN play the field, know what I mean? I'm kinda indifferent about being in a relationship but find this drama stressful and honeslty tiresome - I really wish that everything would be back to normal... though running back to my ex so soon after she dumped me feels like I'm cheating myself for some reaosn..

Im sure there are a few things we can agree on first: girls are stupid, love is stupid, neither are worth the pain and frustration that they/it can put us through(and vice versa for the ladies)

Ive broke up with my gf a few times, last year I broke up with her right before college started thinking I could like the single life. WRONG, she was an addiction to me, a drug. I was fine the first two weeks messing with other girls, etc. I watched as she started liking a sort of friend of mine, he was in my grade but was kind of a dork IMO. Well she started liking him bcuz he fed her all this BS about how he can treat her better, he put stuff like"ill show you the good things" "i cant help im a nice guy" etc,etc. I confronted him several times to atleast repsect me by not putting childish comments on his little aol profile(what a dork) and to not lie to me about anything I ask him. I came close several times to tearing him apart but never did bcuz she was always around. Well she *thought* she feel head over heals for him bcuz everything was new to her, new guy, same things they did, we did once, but he was new so it was all fun all over again. Well needless to say I coudlnt take it, flipped out, had some hard times through all that. I hate guys who come in and try to take a girl who you have dated for 2 years(serious dating too) and act like its not a big deal. Needless to say I started getting with other females and she heard about it and came back to me shortly after she found out I was over her. I wanted her back also but coudlnt let her know that. So were back together today and things are going back to the ways it used to be.

sorry got a little off-topic but my point:

dont chase her, she will hurt you more and more bcuz its a game to her
dont call her
say hi and bye in public, nothing more
once she sees your getting over her(even if its an act) she will come to realize if she really wants you and her to have something or not

dont play the field cuz you will end up getting hurt, she will use you until shes done and then you will get broke off so easy it wont be funny. your young, hell im to young for this sh!t but it happened so oh well. go out with your friend sue:beer: theres nothing wrong with having fun, let your ex do the calling/come over,etc.


just chill for about 1 month or a little more, go with your feelings on how you feel then, not now.



it will happen if its meant to be.

oh yea, the feelings you feel now, been there did some CRAZY stuff while feeling that emptiness. the feeling feels like it wont end, lasting for days. it will stop eventually but the time that it takes for the feeling you feel now to go away seems forever away. you will feel better every few days but just give it some time and let your FEELINGS do the talking instead of your brain/mind. your mind tends to misguide you, after a month look at your feelings and go with what you feel whats right then.




hope this makes sense. im at work so i needed something to post about.



gl

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: gururu
seven years is too much. just postpone with the ex. let her chill out, since getting back together is really her problem. please oh please do not mislead the new chick.

I really should leave for class but I never thought of that angle (that hooking up with the new girl would be misleading her).. I must stress that I simply don't have a chance with the new girl - she's really not in my league... But I never really thought that hooking up with anyone with the hope of getting back with my ex would be misleading.. sheesh, that makes my life even more confusing now
(thanks for the thought though, you're right. i think..)

 

[jjones]

I suggest you get laid by someone other than your ex, preferably several times. That will provide the appropriate perspective.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: jjones
I suggest you get laid by someone other than your ex, preferably several times. That will provide the appropriate perspective.

If only it were that easy! I'm not too high and mighty to say that I wouldn't be doing that if I could..

 

[slightlyhuman]

Originally posted by: jjones
I suggest you get laid by someone other than your ex, preferably several times. That will provide the appropriate perspective.

how?

 

[imported_vr6]

hang out with the friend. Your ex made a choice to end it, so be it, don't give her a chance for self assurance.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: derrickperry

hope this makes sense. im at work so i needed something to post about.



gl

It all makes sense and I'll think about what you said during my day... I hate being manipulated but I hate that feeling.. I know it'll get away but it's making my life .. complicated... i'm nearly 2 weeks behind in my school work because my mind is always on this....I'm not really depressed, I'm just distracted all the time... Well, I have a lot of thinking to do... And a lot of drinking

 

[slackerinabox]

btw, the hang out with them both option isn't realistic right? My gf has met "sue" and said that she's a sweet girl but, yeah, we've gotten a lot closer since then..we're writing a story together, talking for hours a day, meeting together to edit some video...doing a lot of totally platonic stuff that could still piss off my ex...

 

[hdeck]

sorry, but she cheated on you. she felt bad afterwards and was just looking for an excuse to end it to clear her own conscience.

ok so i hope that isn't the case but hang out with the new girl.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: hdeck
sorry, but she cheated on you. she felt bad afterwards and was just looking for an excuse to end it to clear her own conscience.

ok so i hope that isn't the case but hang out with the new girl.

she didn't cheat on me at all..

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: mugsywwiii

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: DeadByDawn
She's your Ex, why waste anymore time on her? Time to move on.

Well, I think that we can still patch things up.. 7 years is a long time.. But, I think you guys are right, one week in not enough to chill out (well, it'll be closer to 2).. I dunno though, especially since I was the dumpee in the equation..

How old were you when she dumped your ass? 15?

Huh? She just dumped him. They started dating 7 years ago.

My bad. I misread his initial post.

This is a difficult situation. Perhaps the OP should hang out with 1 on Friday and the other on Saturday. If that is not possible, I suggest staying away from the ex.

 

[nativesunshine]

Originally posted by: LordJezo
Sit on anandtech and post about it all day until one of the 3 girls on here feels sorry for you and invites you over to make you feel better.

speaking from experience, perhaps?

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: nativesunshine

Originally posted by: LordJezo
Sit on anandtech and post about it all day until one of the 3 girls on here feels sorry for you and invites you over to make you feel better.

speaking from experience, perhaps?

pwned.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: mugsywwiii

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: DeadByDawn
She's your Ex, why waste anymore time on her? Time to move on.

Well, I think that we can still patch things up.. 7 years is a long time.. But, I think you guys are right, one week in not enough to chill out (well, it'll be closer to 2).. I dunno though, especially since I was the dumpee in the equation..

How old were you when she dumped your ass? 15?

Huh? She just dumped him. They started dating 7 years ago.

My bad. I misread his initial post.

This is a difficult situation. Perhaps the OP should hang out with 1 on Friday and the other on Saturday. If that is not possible, I suggest staying away from the ex.

I considered that and may very well do that - too bad there's only one good movie coming out this week... But it's still kinda giving in to my ex so I feel indifferent about it...