This thread outlines my miserable life lately... The quick summary is that after nearly 7 years together my gf dumps me because I've been stressed out and on edge lately. I deserved it, yes, but I felt dumping me was a bit drastic.... Anyway, so one week later and I'm getting very close to a friend of mine -I don't see any sparks and there never may be, but I do feel an emotional connection. I've hung out with her twice since getting dumped and want to again this friday - but my ex wants to hang out with me as well. What should I do? Should I attempt to patch things up with my ex or should I give her a little more time to just chill out? Should I hang out with my friend or with my ex? Since my ex wants to hang out as "friends" should i invite my other friend? I figured that would be pretty awkward... Well, any advice, wise wizards?
Life still a bit of a mess, still need some advice
- Thread starter slackerinabox
- Start date
Really? Do I just tell my ex that I had other plans? I don't want to play mind games and make her jealous or anything...
Anubis
No Lifer
i think it's too soon to hang out with the ex. tell the ex whatever you feel. do you feel that you're really hang out as just friends?? everytime i hung out with my ex i expected it to be like when we were together... you know it's too weird to have both - which to me says you and your ex wont be acting like just friends... it's too soon
Well, I think that we can still patch things up.. 7 years is a long time.. But, I think you guys are right, one week in not enough to chill out (well, it'll be closer to 2).. I dunno though, especially since I was the dumpee in the equation..
You know, the weirdest thing happened... I feel guilty for talking to the new girl even though a) we're nothing more than freinds and b) i got dumped! I felt weird hanging out with her as well and had to invite my best friend to be a buffer... Why should I feel guilty, even if I get back together with my ex?? I'm partially worried that hanging out with any new girl will jeopardize getting back with my ex... I sound pathetic but we would have been married by now if we weren't so young, know what I mean?
We started dating when we were 16... I'm 23 now.. I know you meant that as an insult but I also know that you have a personal grudge against me - I'll be the mature one and just offer you a drink :beer:
your ex dumped you.... because you were stressed out? sure you can hook back up with her, but i think you should wait at least a month to make sure this is what you guys want. when my ex and i broke up, i told myself i would wait 6 months before getting back with him... now i have a new bf and will NEVER go back to my ex
Kadarin
Lifer
- Nov 23, 2001
- 44,296
- 16
- 81
Marriage isn't some goal you attain after which it's all effortless cruising. Once you're married, you still have to make the same compromises and go through the same emotional BS as if you were still in a normal relationship. It's natural to feel more than a bit weird because you're still in the mindset of being together with your ex. That'll change over time as you enjoy the company of new friends.
OK man, I just read it wrong.. Obviously, I've been a little stressed.. I'd offer you another drink but you're probably at work
Sit on anandtech and post about it all day until one of the 3 girls on here feels sorry for you and invites you over to make you feel better.
It really was my fault... When I get stressed I get snippy.. I didn't yell at her but I got into a lot of those "a thank you would be nice!" situations... I also wasn't affectionate as I should be.. But I believe a long talk would have straightened me out, not dumpage.. That's why I feel like this is a bit of a game to her - let's dump him, make him change to my liking because he feels guilty, and then take him back... I told myself that I'd wait 3 months as well, mostly to fix myself up (and deal with the stress), but I feel like she wants to accelerate the process.. I also feel like i'm being played a bit..
You should have made a poll... hang out with your new friend... that will get your ex insanely jealous!!!
Jezo, that wasn't nice - we were supposed to work together on a film, remember that? Actually, all of the women in my life are pretty attractive and sweet- I don't need the attention of ATOT girls... I just need some advice
stick with what you told yourself.. wait 3 months. it gets easier with time. you guys can work out the problems before getting back together and she can have the time as well to confirm that she wants to be with you... and then if/when you work everything out - this should help to avoid the same thing happening again.. of course that's just my opinion!
I've thought about that.. But then I'd be using my friend as leverage in a twisted game so I don't want to think about it that way.. But you guys are convincing me to hang out with my new pal (let's call her "Sue" to protect her identity).
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