Hayabusa Rider
Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
- Jan 26, 2000
- 50,879
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<< Yes, as I know this for a fact.
>>Yes, as I know this for a fact.
j/k
Many mistake passive for nice. That is part of the problem
<< Yes, as I know this for a fact.
>>Yes, as I know this for a fact.
j/k
Many mistake passive for nice. That is part of the problem
Yes they do, but it's for one particular reason I've seen many times:
Most "nice guys" get to know a woman well enough that they get moved into the "friend zone" before they finally ask that woman out (if they ever get the nerve up in the first place). Most of the other people tend to put their balls out there a lot earlier while the woman is still wondering if the person is date material or friends material. I used to be the proverbial nice guy, and many many times I was in that exact situation. One say I said fsck it and just let it all hang out. I'm still nice to every person I meet, I just let my intentions be known a lot sooner in a relationship. It's more difficult to say it early on, but the rewards are much greater. My bed is a lot less empty now than it was before I changed
If you find it really hard to ask a woman on a one-on-one date, ask her to a party. Tell her you are getting a bunch of people together and was wondering if she wanted to go, and possibly bring some of her friends along. Add 1-2 beers (no more, else you'll be a slobbering drunk) and it'll be a lot easier to ask that question.
Most "nice guys" get to know a woman well enough that they get moved into the "friend zone" before they finally ask that woman out (if they ever get the nerve up in the first place). Most of the other people tend to put their balls out there a lot earlier while the woman is still wondering if the person is date material or friends material. I used to be the proverbial nice guy, and many many times I was in that exact situation. One say I said fsck it and just let it all hang out. I'm still nice to every person I meet, I just let my intentions be known a lot sooner in a relationship. It's more difficult to say it early on, but the rewards are much greater. My bed is a lot less empty now than it was before I changed
If you find it really hard to ask a woman on a one-on-one date, ask her to a party. Tell her you are getting a bunch of people together and was wondering if she wanted to go, and possibly bring some of her friends along. Add 1-2 beers (no more, else you'll be a slobbering drunk) and it'll be a lot easier to ask that question.
I am going to put this to the test.
There's this really nice guy at work named Paul. He isn't a great looker, actually looking a bit skinny. I got some people from work to go to Dinner today and made sure that Paul came along. I had decided that I want to date a nice guy for a while, and I had noticed him 'checking' me out the other day.
So we go to Dinner and I make sure that I am right beside him the whole night. It was actually a lot harder than I thought as him and a couple of his guy friends are used to sitting together at these sorts of outings. After a bit, I was able to squirm to his side and talk with him a bit.
Turns out he is into long distance cycling and kayaking and is solid as a rock. He's never had a real girlfriend (he's heading toward 30). Last year he went to a race in France (Paris-Brest-Paris) and competes in century's (100 mile races) every couple of months. He was surprised to find that I have a Schwinn Voyageur Touring bike and had done a couple of century's myself as well as BAM (Bicycle Across Missouri).
He is also possibly the most intelligent man I have ever had the privilege of talking to.
I dropped a ton of hints and he seemed genuinely excited by the interest I was showing. It actually came very easy for me, as once I got the conversation going he got over his initial nervousness and was able to relax.
I am looking forward to him actually asking me out.
I can't believe no one has scarfed him up before now. I hope I don't learn that there's a good reason someone hasn't.
Sarah <== went cycling when I got home tonight - 15 miles.
There's this really nice guy at work named Paul. He isn't a great looker, actually looking a bit skinny. I got some people from work to go to Dinner today and made sure that Paul came along. I had decided that I want to date a nice guy for a while, and I had noticed him 'checking' me out the other day.
So we go to Dinner and I make sure that I am right beside him the whole night. It was actually a lot harder than I thought as him and a couple of his guy friends are used to sitting together at these sorts of outings. After a bit, I was able to squirm to his side and talk with him a bit.
Turns out he is into long distance cycling and kayaking and is solid as a rock. He's never had a real girlfriend (he's heading toward 30). Last year he went to a race in France (Paris-Brest-Paris) and competes in century's (100 mile races) every couple of months. He was surprised to find that I have a Schwinn Voyageur Touring bike and had done a couple of century's myself as well as BAM (Bicycle Across Missouri).
He is also possibly the most intelligent man I have ever had the privilege of talking to.
I dropped a ton of hints and he seemed genuinely excited by the interest I was showing. It actually came very easy for me, as once I got the conversation going he got over his initial nervousness and was able to relax.
I am looking forward to him actually asking me out.
I can't believe no one has scarfed him up before now. I hope I don't learn that there's a good reason someone hasn't.
Sarah <== went cycling when I got home tonight - 15 miles.
<< I am going to put this to the test.
There's this really nice guy at work named Paul. He isn't a great looker, actually looking a bit skinny. I got some people from work to go to Dinner today and made sure that Paul came along. I had decided that I want to date a nice guy for a while, and I had noticed him 'checking' me out the other day.
So we go to Dinner and I make sure that I am right beside him the whole night. It was actually a lot harder than I thought as him and a couple of his guy friends are used to sitting together as these sorts of outings. After a bit, I was able to squirm to his side and talk with him a bit.
Turns out he is into long distance cycling and kayaking and is solid as a rock. He's never had a real girlfriend (he's heading toward 30). Last year he went to a race in France (Paris-Brest-Paris) and competes in century's (100 mile races) every couple of months. He was surprised to find that I have a Schwinn Voyageur Touring bike and had done a couple of century's myself as well as BAM (Bicycle Across Missouri).
He is also possibly the most intelligent man I have ever had the privilege of talking to.
I dropped a ton of hints and he seemed genuinely excited by the interest I was showing. It actually came very easy for me, as once I got the conversation going he got over his initial nervousness and was able to relax.
I am looking forward to him actually asking me out.
I can't believe no one has scarfed him up before now. I hope I don't learn that there's a good reason someone hasn't.
Sarah <== went cycling when I got home tonight - 15 miles. >>
...
...
...
... exactly.
See my above post.
If he's really that great, women asking men out is starting to become more common nowadays <hint> <hint>
<< They don't finish last, but they definately don't finish first! >>
db is a very observant individual. Genuinely nice people in general NEVER finish first because it is in their nature to think about others and defer to others. On the opposite end is a group who often feels they are entitled to things (i.e. the so called jerks). Now this doesn't just pertain to getting women but also to just about everything else that requires competition. In work the demanding asses who don't do as much work but ask for the most generally get paid better than others. As for me I'll just take my yearly review and % raises and be happy with that. 40K isn't a lot of money but I don't need the fancy cars, clothes and shoes etc. to impress people and it is more than enough to live on for me. Same thing goes in sports if you're surfing if you keep on letting people hog and snake waves they'll keep on doing it and you'll be on the side watching. I used to play junior tennis tournaments and as a sportsman it was considered bad to question calls but if you don't guys will hook you on calls all day. Nice guys always give in or defer to others and as the saying goes "give 'em and inch and they'll take..." Sometimes you just got put your foot down but a genuinely nice person can't just change to move up in the food chain. Live with it don't complain and you'll sleep better (knowing you're a better person), albeit alone
<< I can't believe no one has scarfed him up before now. I hope I don't learn that there's a good reason someone hasn't. >>
I live at home and my Mom won't allow me to date.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
<<
<< Aieeeee noooooo !!!
I swear I'll go mad if I see this question again >>
I can start a gun, abortion, or religion thread if you'd prefer that.... the whole Israel vs. Palestine thing seems a bit played out right now after all
>>ohhhh noooo !!!!! please, anything but that !
If he's really that great, women asking men out is starting to become more common nowadays <hint> <hint>
No can do. The man has to be the official initiator.
Sarah <== Southern Belle
No can do. The man has to be the official initiator.
Sarah <== Southern Belle
AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
- 18,447
- 133
- 106
<< If he's really that great, women asking men out is starting to become more common nowadays <hint> <hint>
No can do. The man has to be the official initiator.
Sarah <== Southern Belle >>
I have to back her up. I'll initiate hanging out with guys, just having fun, and when I was dating I'd be an initiator, but to actually start up, he has to.
<< If he's really that great, women asking men out is starting to become more common nowadays <hint> <hint>
No can do. The man has to be the official initiator.
Sarah <== Southern Belle >>
Do you mind if I ask why? Maybe it's just location but I'm curious. I've had one woman ask me out on a date before, and we had a blast. It's not ultra common, but I have seen it work a few times.
Scouzer
Lifer
- Jun 3, 2001
- 10,358
- 5
- 0
Why Nice Guys Suck
Nice guys quickly get emotionally attached. Sucking the life of you.
Nice guys make you their Life, their only source of happiness.
Nice guys laugh at your jokes...before you've even reached the punchline.
Nice guys have no real life or interest of their own. They sit around and dream of getting a girlfriend to fill their empty lives.
Nice guys suffocate their girlfriends, expecting them to be their lovers, mother, sister, princess, china doll, best buddy and the Goddess who brings up the sun in the morning.
Nice guys are confused about romance. They either go overboard and bring a dozen roses to a "lets go for a walk in the park" date...or...they do nothing.
Nice guys pretend to be 'just our friend' and then go home and fantasize about us mothering their 'nice guy' kids.
Nice guys will make you feel guilty if you spend a minute anywhere but with them.
Dating a nice guy is like dating yourself. If you like Broccoli, he likes Broccoli. If you hate Jay Leno, he hates Jay Leno. If you order a Shirley Temple, he orders a Shirley Temple. If you are pro capital punishment, he is pro capital punishment. If you think Austin Powers was disgusting he thinks Austin Powers was disgusting. If you prefer Kotex over Tampax...
Nice guys never do for you anything for the simple sake of giving. Everything
they do for their girlfriends are like stock investments. Each gift he gives you, or loving gesture he shows you, is really a guaranteed down payment toward a future of him clinging to you like a drowning man to a life-saver.
Nice guys will never actually tell their girlfriends when they don't like what she's doing. Instead, he will get mad about it six months later.
Nice guys truly think that they are making their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life, desires, wants, needs, opinions, and identities to that of their girlfriends. They can then claim that "no one will ever love you as much as I do".
Nice guys feel so undeserving of 'awesome you' that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.
Nice guys turn into stalkers. They already know your schedule. They will call you and hangup just to hear your voice. They will drive by your house to look at your parked car. They will get depressed if they don?t see you online.
Nice guys think that if a woman doesn't want to have anything to do with their boring, empty shell of manlihood, they're stupid bitches who would rather be with a jerk that beats them.
I fall under all of that minus stalker..
Nice guys quickly get emotionally attached. Sucking the life of you.
Nice guys make you their Life, their only source of happiness.
Nice guys laugh at your jokes...before you've even reached the punchline.
Nice guys have no real life or interest of their own. They sit around and dream of getting a girlfriend to fill their empty lives.
Nice guys suffocate their girlfriends, expecting them to be their lovers, mother, sister, princess, china doll, best buddy and the Goddess who brings up the sun in the morning.
Nice guys are confused about romance. They either go overboard and bring a dozen roses to a "lets go for a walk in the park" date...or...they do nothing.
Nice guys pretend to be 'just our friend' and then go home and fantasize about us mothering their 'nice guy' kids.
Nice guys will make you feel guilty if you spend a minute anywhere but with them.
Dating a nice guy is like dating yourself. If you like Broccoli, he likes Broccoli. If you hate Jay Leno, he hates Jay Leno. If you order a Shirley Temple, he orders a Shirley Temple. If you are pro capital punishment, he is pro capital punishment. If you think Austin Powers was disgusting he thinks Austin Powers was disgusting. If you prefer Kotex over Tampax...
Nice guys never do for you anything for the simple sake of giving. Everything
they do for their girlfriends are like stock investments. Each gift he gives you, or loving gesture he shows you, is really a guaranteed down payment toward a future of him clinging to you like a drowning man to a life-saver.
Nice guys will never actually tell their girlfriends when they don't like what she's doing. Instead, he will get mad about it six months later.
Nice guys truly think that they are making their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life, desires, wants, needs, opinions, and identities to that of their girlfriends. They can then claim that "no one will ever love you as much as I do".
Nice guys feel so undeserving of 'awesome you' that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.
Nice guys turn into stalkers. They already know your schedule. They will call you and hangup just to hear your voice. They will drive by your house to look at your parked car. They will get depressed if they don?t see you online.
Nice guys think that if a woman doesn't want to have anything to do with their boring, empty shell of manlihood, they're stupid bitches who would rather be with a jerk that beats them.
I fall under all of that minus stalker..
WUSSES finish last.
don't deceive yourselves. all you that say your nice and you finish last. ur just wusses. that's all. ur just pussies.
don't deceive yourselves. all you that say your nice and you finish last. ur just wusses. that's all. ur just pussies.
Scouzer
Lifer
- Jun 3, 2001
- 10,358
- 5
- 0
Oh, and for who made the point about the friends zone, that is also VERY true...I am very popular amongst the ladies as a great 'friend'...sensitive, caring etc. I'm no fugly but I definitely ain't great (think 6/10 for looks and body according to some reliable female friends...so 4/10 is accurate). I don't have much of a life, but I'm a very exciting guy to hang around (I'm very hyper, comedian, talkative...if I do say so myself). But, I do 2 things that screw me over which are:
1) When I talk to new people, I define on the spot if I'm interested in having a relationship or friendship with them. If friendship, I'll end up saying the not so good things about me and a bunch of stuff they don't need to know, then if I get interest in them, that hurts. I tend to end up liking most of my girl friends after a point. I can always find something likeable about someone...I think its a curse.
2) For the girls I am interested in pursuing off the get-go, I wait FAR too long...then I get stuck in friends zone.
1) When I talk to new people, I define on the spot if I'm interested in having a relationship or friendship with them. If friendship, I'll end up saying the not so good things about me and a bunch of stuff they don't need to know, then if I get interest in them, that hurts. I tend to end up liking most of my girl friends after a point. I can always find something likeable about someone...I think its a curse.
2) For the girls I am interested in pursuing off the get-go, I wait FAR too long...then I get stuck in friends zone.
glenn1
. i spent the first 21 years of my life saying the same thing. finally i said to hell with it. i went for it. and guess what, i had great relationships w/ great women. finally i got married at the age of 30 and let me tell you , everyone that meets my wife says she's way outta my league. hey, i don't mind admitting that.
truth is when i was in high school and college I said the same sh!t i'm hearing here. YOU FINISH LAST cause your a LOSER not because your nice. I'm still a nice guy. I just don't take sh!t from anyone anymore.
. i spent the first 21 years of my life saying the same thing. finally i said to hell with it. i went for it. and guess what, i had great relationships w/ great women. finally i got married at the age of 30 and let me tell you , everyone that meets my wife says she's way outta my league. hey, i don't mind admitting that.truth is when i was in high school and college I said the same sh!t i'm hearing here. YOU FINISH LAST cause your a LOSER not because your nice. I'm still a nice guy.
I just don't take sh!t from anyone anymore. <<If he's really that great, women asking men out is starting to become more common nowadays <hint> <hint>
No can do. The man has to be the official initiator.
Sarah <== Southern Belle>>
I told her that earlier today.
(<-- says sarcastically)But she doesn't seem to want to make the initiative. I just think that she is afraid of getting shot down.
No can do. The man has to be the official initiator.
Sarah <== Southern Belle>>
I told her that earlier today.
(<-- says sarcastically)But she doesn't seem to want to make the initiative. I just think that she is afraid of getting shot down.
Do you mind if I ask why? Maybe it's just location but I'm curious. I've had one woman ask me out on a date before, and we had a blast. It's not ultra common, but I have seen it work a few times.
It's because men are rather simple beast. To men the pursuit is much more fun than the getting. Have you noticed that you will often have to get something. That fast processor, that sporty car, etc.... But after the getting, how you feel about the item often is dependent on how hard it was for you to get it. If anything is just given to you, it has little value. If you had to eat a hamburger instead of a steak to get it, you value it more. If you had to search and search, save money, and were (after a bit of time) able to finally get it, it is one of your most prized possessions. To the point that you still have that Commodore Amiga in a closet someplace - just in case you want to finish that game of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
These same tendencies apply to romance, at least the better part of the first year.
Sarah <== regrets every time she didn't play hard to get
It's because men are rather simple beast. To men the pursuit is much more fun than the getting. Have you noticed that you will often have to get something. That fast processor, that sporty car, etc.... But after the getting, how you feel about the item often is dependent on how hard it was for you to get it. If anything is just given to you, it has little value. If you had to eat a hamburger instead of a steak to get it, you value it more. If you had to search and search, save money, and were (after a bit of time) able to finally get it, it is one of your most prized possessions. To the point that you still have that Commodore Amiga in a closet someplace - just in case you want to finish that game of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
These same tendencies apply to romance, at least the better part of the first year.
Sarah <== regrets every time she didn't play hard to get
Maleficus
Diamond Member
- May 2, 2001
- 7,682
- 0
- 0
<< WUSSES finish last.
don't deceive yourselves. all you that say your nice and you finish last. ur just wusses. that's all. ur just pussies. >>
Prolly A LOT of truth out there to this statement then most people wanna admit, i read that and thought about it for a second and when it comes to women i definitely fit that category, most stuff is prolly just insecurity, at least it's so in my case.
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