Laughing At Lawyers

[lifeobry]

Originally posted by: scott

And, silly me, until this moment I wondered if maybe Richard Pryor was funniest of all time!!!

Attorneys mmay be almost average in smarts, just enough to know what will be palatible by the judge or jury, but the FACT is, they ONLY want to WIN. Principles, belief systems, truth, honesty be damned. It's about (1) getting paid, (2) win record, edit: (3) and of course Perfecting interest in any real assets.intellectually they're midlin, morally they're bbelow boot-licking scum. practically they're all about money (for themselves), and personality-wise they're almost all emotionally-deficient utter assholes who'll think nothing of using you to fill their selfish needs.

Professionallay, thank GOD!, I've won in negotiations against most of 'em because I KNOW my stuff while they are usually a mile-wide-inch-deep don't really know nuances of IP law in such & such country or only got mentiojn in law school of GSP/Customs/GAT while I AM T H E E EXPERT so I win for my clients and they reward me big , and well and honestly deserving and truly earned!

Are you drunk?

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: scott

Originally posted by: Corporate Thug

<cut>

I have worked with, and continue to work with attorneys who demonstrate exemplary ethics and principle.

>cut>

And, silly me, until this moment I wondered if maybe Richard Pryor was funniest of all time!!!

Attorneys mmay be almost average in smarts, just enough to know what will be palatible by the judge or jury, but the FACT is, they ONLY want to WIN. Principles, belief systems, truth, honesty be damned. It's about (1) getting paid, (2) win record, edit: (3) and of course Perfecting interest in any real assets.intellectually they're midlin, morally they're bbelow boot-licking scum. practically they're all about money (for themselves), and personality-wise they're almost all emotionally-deficient utter assholes who'll think nothing of using you to fill their selfish needs.

Professionallay, thank GOD!, I've won in negotiations against most of 'em because I KNOW my stuff while they are usually a mile-wide-inch-deep don't really know nuances of IP law in such & such country or only got mentiojn in law school of GSP/Customs/GAT while I AM T H E E EXPERT so I win for my clients and they reward me big , and well and honestly deserving and truly earned!

So what youre saying is, you represent your clients, you want to win, and then you get paid... sounds like what tons of lawyers do

 

[WildHorse]

``

 

[WildHorse]

``

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: scott

Originally posted by: Mo0o

So what youre saying is, you represent your clients, you want to win, and then you get paid... sounds like what tons of lawyers do

What's your point? Who wouldn't?
Are you thinking that in a huge sized negotiation that you'd give your opponent all he asks in ordwer that yhou will not "win" one-sidedl;y instead of win-win (everyb9odie's philosophy)? Remember that perhaps thousands of jobs over 20 years are at stake, not to mention titanic bucjks, technology transfers enabling future wins, etc.

I heard a funny song driving today that said, "God damned the pusher," so I suggest that the real world application of that thought is, "God damned the lawyer!" They're opportunistic to the max!

If you have a complaint against me personally, (with the supporting justification which I provided) that the attorneys I've negotiated against all over the world are nearly without exception mercenary money-grubbing assholes, that's another subject and I could not care less if you do or don't believe me. It's 100% true. I fully appreciate that almost nobody on AT has experiences like that and that it may strike you as unbelievable. Few have dealt at my level.

But the way you approach your job is the same way lawyers approach them. I'm not sure what your specific profession is but im sure there are plenty of corporations that hire lawyers to do exactly what you do. So criticizing lawyers for doing their jobs is also a criticsm of yourself

 

[Buttzilla]

LAWYER: So, after the anaesthetic, when you came out of it, what
did you observe with respect to your scalp?
WITNESS: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the
hospital.
LAWYER: It was covered?
WITNESS: Yes. Bandaged.
LAWYER: Then, later on, what did you see?
WITNESS: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were
removed and put on top of my head.

 

[Buttzilla]

LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the
farmhouse down the footpath to the cowshed?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the
duck pond?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And did you observe anything?
WITNESS: I did.
(Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?
WITNESS: I saw George.
LAWYER: You saw George *******, the defendant in this case?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?
WITNESS: Yes.
(Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so?
WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.
LAWYER: His "thing"?
WITNESS: You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis.
LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good,
you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this
clearly?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Did you say anything to him?
WITNESS: Of course I did!
LAWYER: What did you say to him?
WITNESS: "Morning, George."

some more

 

[TehMac]

Originally posted by: scott
In other words, it's just mercenary expediency, w/o honest regard to moral principles, other than how they might be appealed to in order to win.

What a sleazy way to make a living

Not necessarily. The law demands a defendant in court have a lawyer to assist him, so a lot of shitty lawyers are provided.

Yea, there are some real demon lawyers, but most lawyers never spend a day in court. The creme de la creme of a law firm's team of lawyers go to court, and even then...

Most law firms try to bully and intimidate each other about before hand. Especially law firms specializing in business. This was especially true in the 1960's.

Originally posted by: scott
` nm
ATOT provincials can't relate; they know better

can't let you screw with my livelihood

you've posted this now three times...we get it, you obviously know what you're talking about and none of us know any better.


Despite the fact that you're a massive idiot and twat.

 

[IronWing]

Originally posted by: TehMac

Originally posted by: scott
In other words, it's just mercenary expediency, w/o honest regard to moral principles, other than how they might be appealed to in order to win.

What a sleazy way to make a living

Not necessarily. The law demands a defendant in court have a lawyer to assist him, so a lot of shitty lawyers are provided.

Yea, there are some real demon lawyers, but most lawyers never spend a day in court. The creme de la creme of a law firm's team of lawyers go to court, and even then...

Most law firms try to bully and intimidate each other about before hand. Especially law firms specializing in business. This was especially true in the 1960's.

Originally posted by: scott
` nm
ATOT provincials can't relate; they know better

can't let you screw with my livelihood

you've posted this now three times...we get it, you obviously know what you're talking about and none of us know any better.


Despite the fact that you're a massive idiot and twat.

scott, when TehMac and I agree on something, you aught to pay attention. TehMac and I have completely different world views and very little overlap in our value systems. And I agree with TehMac on this point: you're a massive idiot and twat.

 

[WildHorse]

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[Chaotic42]

Without lawyers you wouldn't have any rights.

 

[WildHorse]

``

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Without lawyers you wouldn't have any rights.

Actually, without reactionary, violent, racist white men, we wouldn't have any rights. Technically, this country owes its existence to rednecks.

 

[WildHorse]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Without lawyers you wouldn't have any rights.

Actually, without reactionary, violent, racist white men, we wouldn't have any rights. Technically, this country owes its existence to rednecks.

Isn't that just a tad extreme?

USA rights are logical outgrowth from specific oppressions suffered under eu kings & stinking queens.

and now they're trying to institute a "royal" class above us yet again, with imperial enjoyment of the wealth we the peeps toil to produce. They're succeeding, e.g.; Hillary Clinton, Obama, those slimy senators, etc. And who is "they?" Good target for investigative reporting; at least your Bohemian Grove, Bilderburgheres, Trilateral Commission and other proved-to-exist groups which Dr. P (whozat?) and other southerners might say do not exist.

 

[ModerateRepZero]

Originally posted by: scott

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Without lawyers you wouldn't have any rights.

nor nearly as many bullshit problems

Go to China and make an "innocent" protest. You'll find out how important legal representation is, especially when YOU are the client.

I'll give you a hint: the legal system is a joke; no independent judiciary and there's a broad "state secrets" charge that they stick people with, even if it's publicly available or published information elsewhere.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: TehMac
Strikes me as fake. People responding to their attorneys like that in court would probably be reprimanded by the judge.

it's not up to the judge to hash out client / attorney issues.

in general people are stupid, in the last 10 years: fucking stupid.

So those people, some are our lawyers.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Without lawyers you wouldn't have any rights.

Actually, without reactionary, violent, racist white men, we wouldn't have any rights. Technically, this country owes its existence to rednecks.

Damn straight and don't you forget it!

Without those guys we'd either be English citizens or now autonomous like Canadians, and everyone knows the English and Canadians have no rights . . . oh, wait. :shocked:

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Without lawyers you wouldn't have any rights.

Actually, without reactionary, violent, racist white men, we wouldn't have any rights. Technically, this country owes its existence to rednecks.

Wait, what....

Rosa Parks was a redneck?

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Originally posted by: WildHorse
the thing is,

a lawyer will argue for whichever side of a case pays him

he just wants to WIN

could not care less about right or wrong.

In other words, it's just mercenary expediency, w/o honest regard to moral principles, other than how they might be appealed to in order to win.

What a sleazy way to make a living

It's the lawyer's job to do the best with what he has. If a lawyer purposefully throws a case on moral grounds, he's not doing his job right. In a perfect world, all lawyers would be equally skilled and therefore the better evidence and police work would really decide the case.

 

[CZroe]

S

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Without lawyers you wouldn't have any rights.

Actually, without reactionary, violent, racist white men, we wouldn't have any rights. Technically, this country owes its existence to rednecks.

Wait, what....

Rosa Parks was a redneck?

She lived in Alabama, didn't she?