Here's the story. I've been seeing my girlfriend for almost three years now. The last few months she distanced herself quite a bit and started hanging out with her girlfriends more. Finally, it just came to a point where she was confused on what she wanted out of our relationship. So, she decided that she still wants to talk to me and have me around, but doesn't want to consider us 'together'. I decided that I didn't want to see her for the course of the summer, and see how things go in a few months. However, I have ran into her a few times this summer, we hooked up every time. She still calls me, and I have told her that I didn't want contact with her, but she becomes upset when I lay it down like that. She still wants to plan times for me to visit. I'm just getting tired of her wanting to have me around and try to plan things out, when I am trying to move on past this relationship. Any ladies out there know why she is acting like this... Any guys have similar situations to relate to. Am I just too blind to see the point here or what?
lady troubles
- Thread starter wilnbrow
- Start date
She likes you and wants you around, but wants to have the freedom to screw around with other guys.
That's my assesment
That's my assesment
You are now "Plan B" or if you prefer..."A backup plan". Call it what you will, she's using you. So you can either:
a) Do the same...keep her around while pumping other chicks
b) Tell her that you think it would be best to go your separate ways if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
a) Do the same...keep her around while pumping other chicks
b) Tell her that you think it would be best to go your separate ways if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
just tell her she can't have her cake and eat it too
if you can be strong about it tell her you want to totally break off contact and see how it goes. if it was meant to be you'll get back together after that.
if you can be strong about it tell her you want to totally break off contact and see how it goes. if it was meant to be you'll get back together after that.
3 years is a long time. I would suggest B for a couple months, and then you can possibly switch to A, but on your terms, not hers.
edited, had them reversed
StageLeft
No Lifer
- Sep 29, 2000
- 70,150
- 5
- 0
Obviously she's acting like this because she hates that you don't want to see her. She doesn't really want to see you, but when you say "Ok, bye!", then suddenly she feels that she's lost some control and that she's not quite as desirable as she thought, so she hooks up with you to reaffirm that you still want her. It's a self-esteem issue. You should tell her to buggar off.
Sounds about right. Find out where she calls you from, don't take those calls. Delete all her e-mail, and if you run into her, treat her like another face in the crowd, and walk past. She's nothing more than a ho.
Fingolfin269
Lifer
- Feb 28, 2003
- 17,948
- 34
- 91
Your only option is to start dating other women and make sure she knows/sees you with these other women.
That is assuming you actually want to get back with her. Otherwise just forget about it. The worst thing you can do is appear to be miserable in front of her.
That is assuming you actually want to get back with her. Otherwise just forget about it. The worst thing you can do is appear to be miserable in front of her.
She's just keeping you around for backup until something better comes along. Keep her for a booty call if you want, but make sure it's on your terms. Otherwise, dump her and move on.
BTW, it's not a valid chick problems thread without YAGT in the title.
BTW, it's not a valid chick problems thread without YAGT in the title.
confused? No, she's just like every other woman in the world. They don't want to let you move on until they have found someone else. Then she'll completely ignore you. Seriously. It's VERY common. Every one of my friends who recently broke up with their girlfriends has done this.
The best thing you can do is arrange a "friends with benefits" relationship. Make sure to reiterate that you don't want to get back together and the sex is just sex. Then enjoy yourself.
:thumbsup: Unfortunate, but true. They love playing little games like this. She wants the power of calling it quits but having you back anytime she wants. If you truly feel there is nothing left in this relationship then you have to stop all contact with her. Not only will that enable you to move on with your life but it will really screw up her head games.
When you left for the summer you forgot to get your balls back. She owns you and she knows it. z0mb13 said it best.
Your best course of action is to sever almost all contact with her. No emails, no phone calls. If you want to get back together later on, still talk to her in public, but don't go anywhere with her that's not a booty call. By doing this you will have taken (back) the power in the relationship and she will likely come crawling back to you. Or she'll truly ditch you once and for all, which I think is unlikely. She could very well be one of those girls that has to be treated like a ho by you in order to keep from acting like one with other guys. I saw that enough during highschool. Either way, you'll know exactly what that relationship meant to her at the end.
Your best course of action is to sever almost all contact with her. No emails, no phone calls. If you want to get back together later on, still talk to her in public, but don't go anywhere with her that's not a booty call. By doing this you will have taken (back) the power in the relationship and she will likely come crawling back to you. Or she'll truly ditch you once and for all, which I think is unlikely. She could very well be one of those girls that has to be treated like a ho by you in order to keep from acting like one with other guys. I saw that enough during highschool. Either way, you'll know exactly what that relationship meant to her at the end.
Axon
Platinum Member
- Sep 25, 2003
- 2,541
- 1
- 76
What I meant was that what she told him was probably true, she doesn't know what she wants. It wasn't a BS line to get out of the relationship.
Although I agree that leaving a woman drives them mad with jealousy and that most can't handle it when you move on.
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