Just got to thinking about this...

[Orsorum]

And this is really scary.

I started thinking about self-confidence and all that other hippie crap, but it started me thinking about my relationship in an RA-type role to other college students my age, and how from time to time there will be someone who is just a total ass to me or another person; in those situations, our word is almost always taken over theirs, as a default.

But then I hear about stories where an RA is a total ass, and he basically manages to make enough enemies of his residents that they get him fired.

Does any man realize how dangerous it is living in contemporary American society? All it would take for a man in my position would be to have a female resident accuse us of sexual harassment to cost us our job. It wouldn't matter if we weren't even in the area at the time of the incident, if the facts didn't add up, or anything. I know the bureaucracy I work in, and they take public relations as a top priority - they do not hesitate to let someone go if they generate even an iota of controversy. Accusations like these are on our records for a lonng time, especially when a person works for any sort of public institution.

Every now and then I start to relax in my role, then I read stories about situations like this, and it makes me reconsider why I'm even doing this. This sh1t is flimsy.

 

[brigden]

That's why you need to start spreading rumours that you're gay!

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: brigden
That's why you need to start spreading rumours that you're gay!

I've already had that happen. :frown:

 

[MangoTBG]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: brigden
That's why you need to start spreading rumours that you're gay!

I've already had that happen. :frown:

Why the unhappy face? Gay=happy.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: MangoTBG

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: brigden
That's why you need to start spreading rumours that you're gay!

I've already had that happen. :frown:

Why the unhappy face? Gay=happy.

Yes, but being called gay when you're a 20-year-old straight male makes for frustrations, sometimes.

 

[Moonbeam]

For those of us still in high school, what the hell is an RA and why do you call self confidence Hippy stuff and how does it relate to getting you into a paranoid dive? And do you want a technical solution or are you seeking that crappy hippy emotional understanding stuff? Often the answer is in knowing the question.

 

[brigden]

RA = Residence Advisor. Read: Responsible upper-year, usually older, student who babysits the Frosh morons and makes sure they don't smash up their dorm rooms.

 

[Moonbeam]

Still waiting on the technical vs emotional part.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Still waiting on the technical vs emotional part.

As if you could offer anything but the latter.

- M4H

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
For those of us still in high school, what the hell is an RA and why do you call self confidence Hippy stuff and how does it relate to getting you into a paranoid dive? And do you want a technical solution or are you seeking that crappy hippy emotional understanding stuff? Often the answer is in knowing the question.

I'm not entirely an RA anymore, I'm a Community Assistant - similar job, but more legalities binding my actions (the local landlord-tenant laws apply with us, they don't for RA's).

I was thinking of my self-confidence as sometimes dependent upon my mood, and my mood being dependent upon my confrontations with other people. I am normally a very shy, introverted person, and confronting people or having people just flat-out dislike me is not an easy thing for me to bear. So when I get into situations where I have to be mean because it's the only way to get my point across, it does start me thinking about things like this - when you're in a position of relative power, you start to realize how easily those positions can be lost.

It helps me alter my behavior so that I act appopriately around residents and simultaneously protect my own professional reputation.

And, I guess I wasn't really looking for an answer, just sharing some random thoughts on a Saturday morning.

 

[brigden]

In my experience RA's are usually losers (no offence, Orsorum) on a sad, little powertrip. Most of the time they're the subject of ridicule and are seldom taken seriously.

I'm guessing our friend is making strides to exercise his authority over the kiddies and he's paranoid about having some broad accuse him of sexual harrasment in an attempt to get him in trouble.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: brigden
In my experience RA's are usually losers (no offence, Orsorum) on a sad, little powertrip. Most of the time they're the subject of ridicule and are seldom taken seriously.

I'm guessing our friend is making strides to exercise his authority over the kiddies and he's paranoid about having some broad accuse him of sexual harrasment in an attempt to get him in trouble.

None taken, .

It's not really that big of a deal, really. It's just a tangent thought I've run into while reading through threads and news stories of men who get falsely accused of rape or sexual harassment. Most RA's that I've worked with are laid back and a ton of fun to hang out with, and most of us really just don't care about bossing residents around. However, I've run into situations where even when we're being as loose as we can, we still have to be dicks - and we get hated on for it.

So, I've learned to watch my step and my behavior and keep the more risque stuff to my close circle of friends and away from the dorms.

 

[Willoughbyva]

Yes it is worrisome that people can do crap and get others in trouble. I am an INFP and dislike being around a lot of people so I know where you are coming from. Take your role as an RA as a learning experience. There will be hazards when you get out of school that you will need to navigate, so maybe you will have a little experience to go by. I guess the main thing is to not worry about the small stuff. If something major happens you will know it and will deal with it in the correct way, asking for help from your superiors in these situations will probably be the best course of action.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Yes I've thought about that many times. My business law class brought that fear up on me. You're liabile for anything and everything nowadays. You can't let the fear get to you though - you just have to stare fear in the eye and say "fvck you"

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Angrymarshmello
Yes I've thought about that many times. My business law class brought that fear up on me. You're liabile for anything and everything nowadays. You can't let the fear get to you though - you just have to stare fear in the eye and say "fvck you"

And that is often the hardest part. Doing my job effectively but with the highest ethics possible.

I have never doubted my own ethics, but that remote possibility of getting accused still haunts me.

 

[Moonbeam]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Still waiting on the technical vs emotional part.

As if you could offer anything but the latter.

- M4H

Hehe, as if you knew anything about me or my skill set or even considered that a techincal solution might not require much more than the few IQ points it requires to carry a voice activated tape recorder when dealing with potentially problamatic situations. The techincal part is easy.

 

[AreaCode707]

I could type up an answer, but... when are you coming over for dinner? I can be lazy and not have to type an answer.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Still waiting on the technical vs emotional part.

As if you could offer anything but the latter.

- M4H

Hehe, as if you knew anything about me or my skill set or even considered that a techincal solution might not require much more than the few IQ points it requires to carry a voice activated tape recorder when dealing with potentially problamatic situations. The techincal part is easy.

...

I hadn't thought about that.

/me runs next door to Office Depot to buy tape recorder

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: HotChic
I could type up an answer, but... when are you coming over for dinner? I can be lazy and not have to type an answer.

But that requires driving down to Auburn. =\ How about the Monday after this?

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Yes it is worrisome that people can do crap and get others in trouble. I am an INFP and dislike being around a lot of people so I know where you are coming from. Take your role as an RA as a learning experience. There will be hazards when you get out of school that you will need to navigate, so maybe you will have a little experience to go by. I guess the main thing is to not worry about the small stuff. If something major happens you will know it and will deal with it in the correct way, asking for help from your superiors in these situations will probably be the best course of action.

Now that I am coming back and looking at it, this comment means a lot to me.

Thank you.