jokes !

lawaris

Banned
Jun 26, 2001
3,690
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Three men -an American, a japanese and Banta Singh were sitting naked in
the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.The American pressed his
forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The
Japanese lifted his palm to his ear.
When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have
a microchip in my hand."
Banta Singh felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do something just as impressive
He stepped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with apiece of 'Toilet paper'
hanging from his ass. The others raised their
eyebrows and said, "Wow!
What's that?".
"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.
 

Oneiric

Member
Mar 13, 2002
66
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Heres another one.... How many telemarketers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 but he has to do it during dinner.

How many telemarketers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10 but it only takes one to screw an old lady out of her life savings.
 

Michael1897

Golden Member
Apr 5, 2002
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so there are 2 muffins sitting in the oven and one muffin turns to the other and says:
Damn it's hot in here!!
the other muffin turns to face the other muffin and says:
WTF, a talking muffin!?!?!
 

lawaris

Banned
Jun 26, 2001
3,690
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Originally posted by: shinerburke
You want a joke? Look between your legs! :D

ha ha ha


















I imagined whatever made u think it was a joke
rolleye.gif


and thank u I am very satisfied the way I am ....... and the girls I am with are too !
 

astriy

Senior member
Jun 11, 2001
640
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0
Originally posted by: lawaris
Originally posted by: shinerburke
You want a joke? Look between your legs! :D

ha ha ha




I imagined whatever made u think it was a joke
rolleye.gif


and thank u I am very satisfied the way I am ....... and the girls I am with are too !



has saying that ever actually make you feel good about your small penis?
 

Michael1897

Golden Member
Apr 5, 2002
1,019
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so i looked down and saw something 9" long and cylindrical and then i moved the straw out of the way and saw my chair.
where is the joke?
 

GooberPHX420

Banned
Jan 13, 2002
1,567
0
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Originally posted by: Michael1897
so there are 2 muffins sitting in the oven and one muffin turns to the other and says:
Damn it's hot in here!!
the other muffin turns to face the other muffin and says:
WTF, a talking muffin!?!?!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG OMG ROFL - nearly pissed my pants on that one..
 

DaLeroy

Golden Member
Dec 4, 2000
1,406
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Originally posted by: Michael1897
so there are 2 muffins sitting in the oven and one muffin turns to the other and says:
Damn it's hot in here!!
the other muffin turns to face the other muffin and says:
WTF, a talking muffin!?!?!

Would the muffin actually have to face the other muffin? Muffin's don't have physical facial features, and hence wouldn't actually have to turn to when talking as sound would just emit from them...It's a point to consider anyway :)
 

Lithium381

Lifer
May 12, 2001
12,452
2
0
Originally posted by: Michael1897
so there are 2 muffins sitting in the oven and one muffin turns to the other and says:
Damn it's hot in here!!
the other muffin turns to face the other muffin and says:
WTF, a talking muffin!?!?!

LOL!!!!!! Thats great, i'm going to be telling that one tomorrow! hah, one of the few jokes i've actually LOL'd for!
 

lawaris

Banned
Jun 26, 2001
3,690
1
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Originally posted by: Lithium381
Originally posted by: Michael1897
so there are 2 muffins sitting in the oven and one muffin turns to the other and says:
Damn it's hot in here!!
the other muffin turns to face the other muffin and says:
WTF, a talking muffin!?!?!

LOL!!!!!! Thats great, i'm going to be telling that one tomorrow! hah, one of the few jokes i've actually LOL'd for!


u shd. do it more often

:D
 

Pastore

Diamond Member
Feb 9, 2000
9,728
0
76
Originally posted by: maladroit
Originally posted by: spankyOO7
q: what do u call mike tyson with no arms and no legs?

a: yo jackass!

:confused:

please explain

he cant kick your ass for calling him a jackass if hes got no arms or legs...

and the muffin joke is really old, i heard it with bananas...
 

Kev

Lifer
Dec 17, 2001
16,367
4
81
Originally posted by: Beast1284
Originally posted by: maladroit
Originally posted by: spankyOO7
q: what do u call mike tyson with no arms and no legs?

a: yo jackass!

:confused:

please explain

he cant kick your ass for calling him a jackass if hes got no arms or legs...

hehe, i finally got it just before reading this. the sad thing is, i think i heard this joke a few times before