- Jul 13, 2005
- 33,986
- 3,321
- 126
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
##################################
Bill Clinton and the Pope died and went to St. Peter.
St. Peter wasn't having a good day so he made a mistake and sent them both in the wrong direction: Bill to heaven and the Pope to Hell. Finally God catches on and tells St. Peter to fix things, so he calls them both back.
The Pope breathes a sigh of relief, and says I'm so happy, now I finally get to meet the greatest of my faith: the Virgin Mary?.
Bill replies "You're too late"
#######################################
A Marine gets out of the Corps after Nam and lives his life like the American dream. When the War on Iraq comes around 40 plus years later, he goes down to the local recruiting station and tells the recruiter "I want in, I want to fight!"
But the recruiter says, "Sorry Buddy, you're too old."
"Fine," the guy says. "I'll go to the Pentagon. I have a friend there.
He'll let me in!" So he goes to the Pentagon and tells his friend,"I wanna fight!"
But his friend says "Sorry Buddy, you're too old."
"Fine", the guy says. "I'll buy a boat and row to Iraq!"
So he goes out and buys himself a rowboat and starts rowing to Iraq, chanting "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!" over and over again!
St. Peter sees all this and goes to God and says, "Lord, what do I do to stop this guy?" God tells St. Peter, "Why don't you take his brain?
It's the root of all thought."
So St. Peter takes the guy's brain. It doesn't faze him, "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!" St. Peter then says, "Now what?!"
God replies, "Why don't you take his heart? It's the seat of all emotion." So St Peter takes it. Doesn't faze the guy. "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!"
St. Peter says, "Now what should I do?" God smiles and says, "Take his manhood."
So St. Peter takes the guy's manhood. The guy stops rowing, looks confused, turns his boat around, and begins chanting, "Off we go, into the wild blue yonder..."
This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
##################################
Bill Clinton and the Pope died and went to St. Peter.
St. Peter wasn't having a good day so he made a mistake and sent them both in the wrong direction: Bill to heaven and the Pope to Hell. Finally God catches on and tells St. Peter to fix things, so he calls them both back.
The Pope breathes a sigh of relief, and says I'm so happy, now I finally get to meet the greatest of my faith: the Virgin Mary?.
Bill replies "You're too late"
#######################################
A Marine gets out of the Corps after Nam and lives his life like the American dream. When the War on Iraq comes around 40 plus years later, he goes down to the local recruiting station and tells the recruiter "I want in, I want to fight!"
But the recruiter says, "Sorry Buddy, you're too old."
"Fine," the guy says. "I'll go to the Pentagon. I have a friend there.
He'll let me in!" So he goes to the Pentagon and tells his friend,"I wanna fight!"
But his friend says "Sorry Buddy, you're too old."
"Fine", the guy says. "I'll buy a boat and row to Iraq!"
So he goes out and buys himself a rowboat and starts rowing to Iraq, chanting "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!" over and over again!
St. Peter sees all this and goes to God and says, "Lord, what do I do to stop this guy?" God tells St. Peter, "Why don't you take his brain?
It's the root of all thought."
So St. Peter takes the guy's brain. It doesn't faze him, "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!" St. Peter then says, "Now what?!"
God replies, "Why don't you take his heart? It's the seat of all emotion." So St Peter takes it. Doesn't faze the guy. "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!"
St. Peter says, "Now what should I do?" God smiles and says, "Take his manhood."
So St. Peter takes the guy's manhood. The guy stops rowing, looks confused, turns his boat around, and begins chanting, "Off we go, into the wild blue yonder..."
Facebook
Twitter