drewshin

Golden Member
Dec 14, 1999
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Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's court. He
had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous
breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was
the King's chief physician. Horatio said "I can arrange it, but I will
need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes." Michael the Dragon Master readily
agreed.
The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching lotion and poured a
little of it into the Queen's brassiere while she was taking a bath.

Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew in intensity.
Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only
a special saliva would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown
such a saliva was only to be in the mouth of Michael the Dragon Master.
King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master and issued the imperial
command. Michael the Dragon Master slipped the antidote to the itching
lotion, which Horatio had given him, into his mouth and for the next four
hours worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts.

Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding
payment.
However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Horatio
anything and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never report
this matter to the King.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion
onto King Arthur's loincloth. And Michael the Dragon Master was again
summoned by the King.
 

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,445
131
106
You know what's scary? I spent a whole quarter in medieval romance class and that's not too different from what we read. Kind of a cross between Lanval - where the queen has the hots for this knight, he's got a hotter chick so he turns her down, she accuses him of being gay then goes crying to the king that he propositioned her, and The Franklin's Tale, by Chaucer, where a married duchess tells a knight that he can sleep with her if he gets rid of a bunch of rocks and he hires an illusionist to do it for him.
Now see, if you'd posted that joke five hundred years ago, we'd've had to read it in class and write papers on it! :p