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Joke: Two Old Ladies

T

Transition

Banned
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.
 
Originally posted by: Transition
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.
Click to expand...

Lol old joke but 7/10
 
The joke was funny, I hadn't heard it before! :thumbsup: 8/10

JRock: Don't quote the entire OP, isn't THAT the point of the thread?
 
Originally posted by: lightweight
The joke was funny, I hadn't heard it before! :thumbsup: 8/10

JRock: Don't quote the entire OP, isn't THAT the point of the thread?
Click to expand...

Cut me some slack I was drinking all night and have been at my desk as of 6:50 this morning. 😉
 
REALLY old joke. I heard it in high school. That is more than 25 years ago!

Followup:

A kid goes into the pharmacy to buy some condoms. He looks both ways to see if anybody is looking, palms a pack and heads for the checkout. He tries to be inconspicious as he puts them on the counter. The cashier starts ringing them up.
C: "That is a dollar for the condoms, and 5 cents for taxes"
K: "Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

rimshot
 
Originally posted by: gsellis
REALLY old joke. I heard it in high school. That is more than 25 years ago!

Followup:

A kid goes into the pharmacy to buy some condoms. He looks both ways to see if anybody is looking, palms a pack and heads for the checkout. He tries to be inconspicious as he puts them on the counter. The cashier starts ringing them up.
C: "That is a dollar for the condoms, and 5 cents for taxes"
K: "Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

rimshot
Click to expand...

:thumbsdown:

that was horribly badly terribly poorly just sucky.
 
Originally posted by: purbeast0
Originally posted by: gsellis
REALLY old joke. I heard it in high school. That is more than 25 years ago!

Followup:

A kid goes into the pharmacy to buy some condoms. He looks both ways to see if anybody is looking, palms a pack and heads for the checkout. He tries to be inconspicious as he puts them on the counter. The cashier starts ringing them up.
C: "That is a dollar for the condoms, and 5 cents for taxes"
K: "Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

rimshot
Click to expand...

:thumbsdown:

that was horribly badly terribly poorly just sucky.
Click to expand...

I would stop at horribly badly terribly poorly, no need to go farther. After all, it did get a grin out of me.

-spike
 
Here is one I got today that made me laugh:

Three old grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
About then an old man walked by, and one of the grandmas says,
"We bet we can tell how old you are."

The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it."

One of the grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your trousers and we
can tell your exact age."

He did.

The grandmas stared at him for a while and then they all piped up and
said, "You're 84 years old!"

The old man was stunned. "Amazing! How did you guess that?"

The grandmas laughed. Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to
ear, all three happily yelled in unison, "You told us yesterday!"
 
Originally posted by: OmahaTaz
Here is one I got today that made me laugh:

Three old grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
About then an old man walked by, and one of the grandmas says,
"We bet we can tell how old you are."

The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it."

One of the grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your trousers and we
can tell your exact age."

He did.

The grandmas stared at him for a while and then they all piped up and
said, "You're 84 years old!"

The old man was stunned. "Amazing! How did you guess that?"

The grandmas laughed. Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to
ear, all three happily yelled in unison, "You told us yesterday!"
Click to expand...

lol. funny
 
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