cKGunslinger
Lifer
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a man carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't show up." "Sure," they said, "you're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. A couple holes later, one of the fellows asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man."
"You're joking!"
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here's the 'tool of my trade.'"
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other fellow, "can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
"Sure, said the hit man."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha, that's funny, she must be just out of the shower because I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... he's naked as well! Why that little b1tch!"
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's supposed to be a friend of mine, but don't kill him, just shoot his d1ck off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. A couple holes later, one of the fellows asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man."
"You're joking!"
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here's the 'tool of my trade.'"
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other fellow, "can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
"Sure, said the hit man."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha, that's funny, she must be just out of the shower because I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... he's naked as well! Why that little b1tch!"
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's supposed to be a friend of mine, but don't kill him, just shoot his d1ck off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
