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Amused

Amused

Elite Member
Apr 14, 2001
57,503
20,105
146
Heh, got this in E-mail... (you can probably ignore the "true story" claims)

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor...Here are some ACTUAL logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.....

Bye the way, QANTAS is supposedly the only major airline that has never had an accident..

P-- is Problem- the pilots entered in the log.
S--is Solution or corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something lose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit..

P: Dead bugs on windsheild.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative
S; IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect your right!

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious!

P: Radar hums
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed..
 
W

WTT0001

Golden Member
Jan 2, 2001
1,510
0
76
I am afraid that unlike some of the people here I am only 18, not quite old enough to go out on my own. As to my mother getting a laugh out of it, I was LOL and she wanted to know why (as she was walking by). She read them and also laughed.

Good enough for ya???

WTT
 
ElFenix

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,407
8,595
126
hehehehehe


singapore has never had a major incident, IIRC, though their subsidiary silk has.
 
R

ROTC1983

Diamond Member
Oct 2, 2002
6,130
0
71
Originally posted by: Amused
Heh, got this in E-mail... (you can probably ignore the "true story" claims)

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor...Here are some ACTUAL logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.....

Bye the way, QANTAS is supposedly the only major airline that has never had an accident..

P-- is Problem- the pilots entered in the log.
S--is Solution or corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something lose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit..

P: Dead bugs on windsheild.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative
S; IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect your right!

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious!

P: Radar hums
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed..
Click to expand...

:D
 
T

tm37

Lifer
Jan 24, 2001
12,436
1
0
I can believe all of these.

You would not beleive some of the problems pilots would put down on the repair order or MAF.

The best I ever saw was

Gripe: noise in rear of aircraft sounds like little man banging hammer.

To which a second class electrician repaired by:Took little hammer away from little man.

To our surprise there was no follow up on this bird and apparently that fixed the problem:D
 
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