Joke #2

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Papagayo

Papagayo

Platinum Member
Jul 28, 2003
2,303
24
81
Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put
> your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
>
> The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear,
> "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
>
> "I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this
> been going on?" the doctor asked.
>
> "That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
>
> The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I
> really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
>
> "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything
> like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
>
> "Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down
> on my ankle," the man urged him.
>
> The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead,
> "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really
> desperate!"
>
> "I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing
> about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his
> medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated guess.
>
> Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some
> certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
 
franksta

franksta

Golden Member
Jun 6, 2001
1,967
6
81
I got a chuckle out of it.

I work at a university around quite a few students from various other nations. Anyway when I moved into my new office apparently it was occupied by some students at some time in the past. I found a book that was to help the students with their English skills. Mostly things you would use in a normal conversation like "broke" as used in the joke. To someone that's not familiar with this use the joke doesn't make any sense. Anyway they had some fill in the blank sections. I got a huge laugh out of these

He does not have any money. He is broke.
They can not go to the movies. They are broken.

Hillarity ensued.
 
Fritzo

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,920
2,162
126
Originally posted by: Papagayo
Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put
> your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
>
> The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear,
> "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
>
> "I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this
> been going on?" the doctor asked.
>
> "That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
>
> The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I
> really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
>
> "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything
> like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
>
> "Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down
> on my ankle," the man urged him.
>
> The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead,
> "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really
> desperate!"
>
> "I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing
> about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his
> medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated guess.
>
> Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some
> certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Click to expand...

[simon]Awful. Absolutely dreadful.[/simon]
 
Fritzo

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,920
2,162
126
Maybe this will make up for it:

A lady goes into a tattoo parlor and asks the artist to tattoo a picture of Robert Redford on her right upper thigh and a picture of Paul Newman on her left upper thigh.

The artist does so, and when he finishes hands her a mirror so she can inspect the work.

She looks at the left thigh and says, "Wow! That?s definitely Paul Newman. Just look at those blue eyes." Then she looks at the right thigh and complains, "That doesn?t look like Robert Redford."

The artist disagrees and says they need to find an impartial judge.

They go to the bar next door and ask the first guy they meet to identify the tattoos. She raises her skirt and drops her panties, and he gets his face up close and says, "Well, ma?am, the one on your left thigh is definitely Paul Newman. He even has the blue eyes. The one on your right I?m not sure about?but the one in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson."
 
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