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Jobs where you have to lie a lot.

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Parent :

"Yes Santa is coming tonight"

"You're the MOST beautiful girl in the world"

"No, my son was home with me last night when those girls were murdered"
 
oldsmoboat said:
Cop
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I came in to post this. Cops will lie to pull you over and search your car. For example, something like "You didn't use your blinker while changing lanes." or "You didn't stop completely." etc. Its your word against theirs and guess who the judge is going to believe.
 
Tech support. Never tell the user they had a virus. They go apeshit. Tell them there was a software glitch because the programmers are idiots. :awe:
 
I used to work in customer service... I don't know if I'd call feigning empathy to be a "lie." my old company had a lot of douchebags working for it, I generally was sorry for their bad experiences unless they were a raging asshole about it.

we were discouraged from out and out lying. the one common lie that I can think of was promising to escalate their complaint.

I worked for a ferry company. if a customer called to complain that their ferry was running late, I'd apologize and ensure him that I'd call over to dispatch to make sure that everything was OK. which of course I wouldn't do... the boats ran when they ran. they vaguely held to a schedule, but if it took an extra 15 minutes for passengers to board one morning because people were moving slowly or they had to help out a guy in a wheelchair or something, what am I going to do about it?

unless it was a serious issue, escalating complaints usually meant filling out a generic complaint form. the complaint forms would be used to generate a weekly and monthly report to show where and why customers were complaining, and otherwise get ignored unless there was a significant spike somewhere.
 
I'm in sales/customer service and I have a constant battle with my boss because I refuse to lie. She tries to give me "examples" of things to say and when I ask about it not being the truth she gets all pissy.

I don't have to fake empathy because if its something stupid, I just handle it and get them off the phone. Mud on your carpet? Fill out a form. We nicked your gas line and your house blew up? Fill out a form. Your dog is missing and your daughter is pregnant? Ask for pics.
 
The last dentist I went to for a routine cleaning tried to convince me that I need flap surgery with bone grafts or I would lose all my teeth by 30. And the fucker didn't even seem serious, nor did he try to offer me a half-decent how/why/when explanation. He had this stupid 'I am super sewious lol' look on his face. I later told my cousin and her husband about it (both dentists) and they were like, "Yeah, guy was trying to get you to pay for a vacation."
 
her209 said:
I came in to post this. Cops will lie to pull you over and search your car. For example, something like "You didn't use your blinker while changing lanes." or "You didn't stop completely." etc. Its your word against theirs and guess who the judge is going to believe.
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I kind of hated posting that but it's true. I've worked with cops and been friends with cops for years. There are some good ones. But a lot of them are egotistical nazis, goose steeping all over our civil rights.
 
My whole job is being able to say, "youre idea sucks and you're a fuckwit" without actually saying, "your idea sucks and you're a fuckwit" .
 
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her209 said:
I came in to post this. Cops will lie to pull you over and search your car. For example, something like "You didn't use your blinker while changing lanes." or "You didn't stop completely." etc. Its your word against theirs and guess who the judge is going to believe.
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99% of the time you did do something illegal.
Just because you don't give a shit about some irrelevant law doesn't mean the cop doesn't or wont use it as an excuse to pull you over.
 
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