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Jews! Jews! Jews! We're everywhere!

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America's greatest hero. That's right. Created by Jews.
superman-standing.gif


Sandy Koufax-Greatest lefty ever. Not available on Yom Kippur:
274803920_34aa084ea2.jpg
 
AMDZen said:
I would watch out, I got a 3 day vacation for referring to a forum member as a "Jew" even though he has the word in his user name.

So .... apparently those in power on this forum are jew's too.

Personally, I don't know a single jew who is offended by me calling them a jew, and it isn't a derogatory word at all - I just thought I would point it out before thread close.
Click to expand...

The member did not have "Jew" in his username. You were using that and another word in derogatory manner. That is why you got vacationed.

ATOT Moderator ElFenix
 
Golda Meir-Emigrated from America to Israel. This Jewish grandmother defeated 3 arab armies in 6 days. And spent the 7th day complaining her children never call her.
455px-Golda_Meir_03265u.jpg
 
Genrikh Yagoda. A rather nasty fellow. A name best forgotten, advertised by some. But must be remembered as well because of the horrors.

yezhov_yagoda.jpg
 
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I once took a job as a chauffeur for a rich Jewish family. I quit after a few months as it wasn't all that I'd heard it to be.
 
Keep in mind that not all the Jewish people mentioned above are not totallly recongnized as Jewish. According to the Orthodox, a Jew can only be Jewish if he is born from a Jewish woman or converted by orthodox means. Whereas, the Conservative, Traditional, and Reform believe that being born of a Jewish parent or converted by Conservative, traditional or reform is OK and you are Jewish. Many who have only a Jewish father and a Non Jewish mother believe they are Jewish, when according to many, they are not. Israels law of return only applies to Jews born of a Jewish mother or converted by orthodox. Some Jews call themselves 'half Jewish' when they have a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother. If they turn out to be successful, then they call themselves fully Jewish.
 
Ridiculous thread. Do Jews really need to post about how amazing they are? It's not like they haven't done well for themselves and not received all the credit they deserve.
 
Might as well note the Christmas songs that were written by Jews:

Winter Wonderland
Written by: Felix Bernard, Richard B. Smith

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
Written by: Mel Tormé, Robert Wells

Sleigh Ride
Written by: Leroy Anderson, Mitchell Parish

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
Written by: Sammy Cahn, Jule Styne

White Christmas
Written by: Irving Berlin

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
Written by: Johnny Marks

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Written by: Edward Pola, George Wyle

Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
Written by: Johnny Marks

Silver Bells
Written by: Jay Livingston, Ray Evans

I'll Be Home For Christmas
Written by: Walter Kent, Kim Gannon, Buck Ram

A Holly Jolly Christmas
Written by: Johnny Marks

(There's No Place Like) Home For The Holidays
Written by: Bob Allen, Al Stillman
 
Raizinman said:
Keep in mind that not all the Jewish people mentioned above are not totallly recongnized as Jewish. According to the Orthodox, a Jew can only be Jewish if he is born from a Jewish woman or converted by orthodox means. Whereas, the Conservative, Traditional, and Reform believe that being born of a Jewish parent or converted by Conservative, traditional or reform is OK and you are Jewish. Many who have only a Jewish father and a Non Jewish mother believe they are Jewish, when according to many, they are not. Israels law of return only applies to Jews born of a Jewish mother or converted by orthodox. Some Jews call themselves 'half Jewish' when they have a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother. If they turn out to be successful, then they call themselves fully Jewish.
Click to expand...

The Orthos don't speak for everyone (or, really, anyone besides themselves). Their definition of Jewish could be that you are born at the Western Wall. It doesn't matter.

Millions of people who they consider non-Jewish have a right to call themselves Jewish. Period.
 
"The Chanukah Song" is a series of humorous songs written and performed by Adam Sandler. All variations center on the theme of Jewish children feeling alienated during the Christmas season, and Sandler's listing of Jewish celebrities (both real and fictional).

Persons referenced in "The Chanukah Song":​

  • David Lee Roth
  • James Caan​
  • Kirk Douglas​
  • Dinah Shore (replaced in some performances with Pauly Shore)​
  • The Carnegie Deli (not a person, but a place notable for traditional Jewish fare)​
  • Bowser (Jon Bauman) from Sha Na Na​
  • Arthur Fonzarelli (Henry Winkler)​
  • Paul Newman (half-Jewish)​
  • Goldie Hawn (half-Jewish)​
  • Captain Kirk (William Shatner)​
  • Spock (Leonard Nimoy)​
  • Howard Schultz, at the time the owner of the Seattle SuperSonics (now Oklahoma City Thunder)​
  • O. J. Simpson is explicitly stated as "not a Jew!" to great applause from the audience​
  • Rod Carew (this is an error; Carew married a Jewish woman, but he did not convert to Judaism)​
  • Ann Landers​
  • "Dear Abby" (Pauline Phillips at the time, although her daughter, Jeanne Phillips—who took over the column—is also Jewish)​
  • Harrison Ford (quarter-Jewish)​
    • This is an error; Ford's mother is actually fully Jewish.​
  • Ebenezer Scrooge is explicitly stated as not Jewish​
  • The Three Stooges​
  • Tom Cruise's agent (Cruise is not Jewish)​
Persons referenced in "The Chanukah Song, Part II":​

  • Winona Ryder
  • Ralph Lauren​
  • Calvin Klein​
  • Louise Post and Nina Gordon of Veruca Salt​
  • Michael "Mike D" Diamond, Adam "MCA" Yauch, and Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz of the Beastie Boys​
  • Lenny Kravitz (half-Jewish)​
  • Courtney Love (half-Jewish)​
  • Harvey Keitel​
  • Jennifer Beals, this is an error. Beals says she once wanted to be Jewish, but is not.​
  • Yasmine Bleeth​
  • Dustin Hoffman​
  • O.J. Simpson, who is "still not a Jew"​
  • Don Messick, voice actor of Scooby Doo​
  • Bob Dylan​
  • Robert Levine, husband of Mary Tyler Moore​
  • Tiger Woods (no, I'm not talkin' 'bout Tiger Woods)​
  • Happy Gilmore, Sandler's title character in the 1996 film​
  • Bruce Springsteen, who "isn't Jewish," but "[Adam's] mother thinks he is"​


Persons referenced in "The Chanukah Song, Part III":
  • Ross (David Schwimmer) and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) from Friends​
  • David Lander of Laverne & Shirley​
  • Debra Messing​
  • Melissa Gilbert​
  • Michael Landon​
  • Jerry Lewis​
  • Ben Stiller​
  • Jack Black​
  • Tom Arnold ("converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back!")​
  • Deuce Bigalow, Rob Schneider's title character of the 1999 film (Schneider is half-Jewish (and half-Filipino))​
  • Mickey Raphael ("The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Hanukkah!")​
  • Osama bin Laden, who is "not a big fan of the Jews"​
  • Sarah Hughes (half-Jewish)​
  • Harry Houdini​
  • David Blaine​
  • Sean Penn (half-Jewish)​
  • Marlon Brando, who is "not a Jew at all, but it looks to [Adam] like he ate one!"​
  • Gwyneth Paltrow (half-Jewish)​
  • Jennifer Connelly (half-Jewish)​
  • Lou Reed​
  • Perry Farrell​
  • Beck (1/8-Jewish)​
  • Paula Abdul​
  • Joey Ramone​
  • Natalie Portman​
 
guyver01 said:
"The Chanukah Song" is a series of humorous songs written and performed by Adam Sandler. All variations center on the theme of Jewish children feeling alienated during the Christmas season, and Sandler's listing of Jewish celebrities (both real and fictional).

Persons referenced in "The Chanukah Song":​

  • David Lee Roth
  • James Caan​
  • Kirk Douglas​
  • Dinah Shore (replaced in some performances with Pauly Shore)​
  • The Carnegie Deli (not a person, but a place notable for traditional Jewish fare)​
  • Bowser (Jon Bauman) from Sha Na Na​
  • Arthur Fonzarelli (Henry Winkler)​
  • Paul Newman (half-Jewish)​
  • Goldie Hawn (half-Jewish)​
  • Captain Kirk (William Shatner)​
  • Spock (Leonard Nimoy)​
  • Howard Schultz, at the time the owner of the Seattle SuperSonics (now Oklahoma City Thunder)​
  • O. J. Simpson is explicitly stated as "not a Jew!" to great applause from the audience​
  • Rod Carew (this is an error; Carew married a Jewish woman, but he did not convert to Judaism)​
  • Ann Landers​
  • "Dear Abby" (Pauline Phillips at the time, although her daughter, Jeanne Phillips—who took over the column—is also Jewish)​
  • Harrison Ford (quarter-Jewish)​
    • This is an error; Ford's mother is actually fully Jewish.​
  • Ebenezer Scrooge is explicitly stated as not Jewish​
  • The Three Stooges​
  • Tom Cruise's agent (Cruise is not Jewish)​
Persons referenced in "The Chanukah Song, Part II":​

  • Winona Ryder
  • Ralph Lauren​
  • Calvin Klein​
  • Louise Post and Nina Gordon of Veruca Salt​
  • Michael "Mike D" Diamond, Adam "MCA" Yauch, and Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz of the Beastie Boys​
  • Lenny Kravitz (half-Jewish)​
  • Courtney Love (half-Jewish)​
  • Harvey Keitel​
  • Jennifer Beals, this is an error. Beals says she once wanted to be Jewish, but is not.​
  • Yasmine Bleeth​
  • Dustin Hoffman​
  • O.J. Simpson, who is "still not a Jew"​
  • Don Messick, voice actor of Scooby Doo​
  • Bob Dylan​
  • Robert Levine, husband of Mary Tyler Moore​
  • Tiger Woods (no, I'm not talkin' 'bout Tiger Woods)​
  • Happy Gilmore, Sandler's title character in the 1996 film​
  • Bruce Springsteen, who "isn't Jewish," but "[Adam's] mother thinks he is"​


Persons referenced in "The Chanukah Song, Part III":
  • Ross (David Schwimmer) and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) from Friends​
  • David Lander of Laverne & Shirley​
  • Debra Messing​
  • Melissa Gilbert​
  • Michael Landon​
  • Jerry Lewis​
  • Ben Stiller​
  • Jack Black​
  • Tom Arnold ("converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back!")​
  • Deuce Bigalow, Rob Schneider's title character of the 1999 film (Schneider is half-Jewish (and half-Filipino))​
  • Mickey Raphael ("The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Hanukkah!")​
  • Osama bin Laden, who is "not a big fan of the Jews"​
  • Sarah Hughes (half-Jewish)​
  • Harry Houdini​
  • David Blaine​
  • Sean Penn (half-Jewish)​
  • Marlon Brando, who is "not a Jew at all, but it looks to [Adam] like he ate one!"​
  • Gwyneth Paltrow (half-Jewish)​
  • Jennifer Connelly (half-Jewish)​
  • Lou Reed​
  • Perry Farrell​
  • Beck (1/8-Jewish)​
  • Paula Abdul​
  • Joey Ramone​
  • Natalie Portman​
Click to expand...

Holy Crap. There are Jews everywhere!
btw Jennifer Connelly and Gwyneth Paltrow? Damn! Or rather Damn fine!
 
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