Jewish jokes

Dari

Lifer
Oct 25, 2002
17,133
38
91
My wife volunteers at a charity. I prefer to give. the other day while I was working from home I decided to stop by a Jewish organization that I donate to. They help those (living in eastern Europe) who helped Jews escape Nazi persecution. Anyway, it was warm outside and it wasn't far from my apartment, so I went there in my flip-flops. While chatting with the president there was a loud bang on the door (it's a secure office). She (the president) yells "They're here to kill us!". I never show how I truly feel so I had a steely expression but all I was thinking about was "Is this it? Am I going to die in my flip-flops?" Turns out it was the Fedex guy and he didn't realize that there was a video/doorbell. The president never gave an assurance that she was joking and kept talking as if she wasn't interrupted. The other people around had a sardonic expression on their faces. I got to admit, it was pretty unsettling.
 

xeemzor

Platinum Member
Mar 27, 2005
2,599
1
71
As Jew I have to say that there are waaaaay better Jewish jokes out there. Try harder next time.
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
i-have-no-idea-what-you-re-talking-about.jpg
 

SlitheryDee

Lifer
Feb 2, 2005
17,252
19
81
What's a good jewish joke? All I've ever heard are the cliche ones about money and safety and the shocking ones about ovens and gas chambers. Never struck me as particularly funny though.
 

Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
41,361
10,480
136
As Jew I have to say that there are waaaaay better Jewish jokes out there. Try harder next time.
A jewish guy had a parrot sent to his mother for her birthday. When he next came to visit her he asked her how she liked the parrot. She replied, "it was delicious." He said, "Mom, that was a talking parrot!" She said, "neu, why didn't he say something?"
 
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rga

Senior member
Nov 9, 2011
640
2
81
On SNL's Weekend update, there was one joke that drew an analogy between Riggs and Murtaugh and Obama and Netanyahu. In a nutshell, the punch line explains that Netanyahu is upset to be Riggs in the analogy, but not as upset as Mel Gibson.