Ruptga
Lifer
- Aug 3, 2006
- 10,246
- 207
- 106
disappoint
Lifer
- Dec 7, 2009
- 10,132
- 382
- 126
local
Golden Member
- Jun 28, 2011
- 1,852
- 517
- 136
Newbian
Lifer
- Aug 24, 2008
- 24,779
- 882
- 126
shortylickens
No Lifer
- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
- 17,081
- 136
kage69
Lifer
- Jul 17, 2003
- 30,823
- 46,140
- 136
Ass kicked?
http://clothingmonster.com/en/pets/300-grey-koala-face.html
also a more jubilant version..
http://clothingmonster.com/en/pets/341-koala-face.html
Dr. Zaus
Lifer
- Oct 16, 2008
- 11,764
- 347
- 126
1. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
2. Yo mama so fat she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem.
3. How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
4. Ask me if I am an orange.
“Are you an orange?”
Nope, I’m a person.
5. A priest, a rabbi, and a Muslim cleric walk into a bar. The cleric having abstained from alcohol due to religious constrictions, does not drink, and his friends decide to do the same. They spend the night laughing and having a good time.
6. Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?
He uses the finest ingredients.
7. What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
8. What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
9. A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware that he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
10. I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucked. He said,
“Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
11. A group of Mexicans were in the back of a car. They were carpooling to work to save on gas.
12. A man walks into a bar.
His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.
13. I like my coffee like I like my women.
Without a penis.
14. An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.
15. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
16. Yo momma’s so ugly that your father no longer finds her attractive, and now their marriage is in trouble.
17. Why didn’t Jesus play hockey?
Because Baseball and Soccer are much more popular sports in Mexico.
18. What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
19. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
They both have handlebars… except for the duck.
20. What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?
Neither of them is a police officer.
21. What do you call a black man who flies a plane?
A pilot.
22. Why isn’t Helen Keller a good driver?
Because she’s dead.
23. Why couldn’t the dinosaur break through the brick wall?
I don’t know. I’m asking you the question.
24. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
25. Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker?
She has dementia.
from:
http://jo.tickld.com/x/25-of-the-best-anti-jokes-ever-11-is-gold
2. Yo mama so fat she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem.
3. How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
4. Ask me if I am an orange.
“Are you an orange?”
Nope, I’m a person.
5. A priest, a rabbi, and a Muslim cleric walk into a bar. The cleric having abstained from alcohol due to religious constrictions, does not drink, and his friends decide to do the same. They spend the night laughing and having a good time.
6. Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?
He uses the finest ingredients.
7. What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
8. What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
9. A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware that he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
10. I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucked. He said,
“Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
11. A group of Mexicans were in the back of a car. They were carpooling to work to save on gas.
12. A man walks into a bar.
His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.
13. I like my coffee like I like my women.
Without a penis.
14. An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.
15. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
16. Yo momma’s so ugly that your father no longer finds her attractive, and now their marriage is in trouble.
17. Why didn’t Jesus play hockey?
Because Baseball and Soccer are much more popular sports in Mexico.
18. What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
19. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
They both have handlebars… except for the duck.
20. What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?
Neither of them is a police officer.
21. What do you call a black man who flies a plane?
A pilot.
22. Why isn’t Helen Keller a good driver?
Because she’s dead.
23. Why couldn’t the dinosaur break through the brick wall?
I don’t know. I’m asking you the question.
24. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
25. Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker?
She has dementia.
from:
http://jo.tickld.com/x/25-of-the-best-anti-jokes-ever-11-is-gold
Last edited:
- Nov 30, 2005
- 50,231
- 118
- 116
Dr. Zaus
Lifer
- Oct 16, 2008
- 11,764
- 347
- 126
dank69
Lifer
- Oct 6, 2009
- 37,109
- 32,468
- 136
MtnMan
Diamond Member
- Jul 27, 2004
- 9,372
- 8,722
- 136
SphinxnihpS
Diamond Member
- Feb 17, 2005
- 8,368
- 25
- 91
Puppies04
Diamond Member
- Apr 25, 2011
- 5,909
- 17
- 76
Should what?
Oh I see, I re-read your previous post....
I should think I am smarter than you.
Ichinisan
Lifer
- Oct 9, 2002
- 28,298
- 1,235
- 136
Probably because it's what semi-literate construction workers are looking for, or it's the name they give when they send someone else to buy it.
Strateejurrie.
highland145
Lifer
- Oct 12, 2009
- 43,973
- 6,336
- 136
That's why we birds have an expression: caw caw cah caw caw [translation: like taking fish from a human]
shortylickens
No Lifer
- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
- 17,081
- 136
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