Jesus's middle name is Hume! Caution: Some NSFW images within!

[ImpulsE69]

omfg. Lmao.

 

[TurtleCrusher]

Simo "The White Death" Hayha was a chill ass dude in peace time. He did his mandatory military year in the 1930s and then he turned to farming. But when the Soviet Union invaded Finland, he decided to take a fade with the red army and become a one man skull fucking task force. ‪ ‪#‎BopBopBopWatchinCommiesDrop‬

Hayha figured he could best help out by grabbing his rifle, some canned food and hide out in the forest dropping Russians all day. He did this in 5-6 feet of snow in the forest in temperatures as low as -40 degrees F. Homie used to put snow in his fucking mouth so his exhaled breaths were not visible in the subzero temperatures. ‪#‎ColdBlooded‬ ‪

When the Russians found out they were getting that long range dick from one farmer with a rifle they started to send out teams to track and kill Simo. ‪#‎CominForThatAssSimo‬

The first team the Russians sent out, Hayha smokechecked. The second team, a group of counter snipers, Hayha killed them as well. Over 100 days, this hard dick Finnish motherfucker killed 542 men with a fucking farmer’s rifle.....then he bodied another 150 dudes with his submachine gun. ‪#‎GottaBeTheShoes‬

Sick of getting their asses handed to them, the Russians started to carpet bomb everywhere they thought he could be. He caught some shrapnel but it didn't do shit and he laughed it off then went and got his dick sucked by some bangin ass Finnish bitches later that night. ‪#‎BlowJobsCureAll‬

He finally did take one to the dome piece on March 6, 1940, and half his head was gone. But that shit still didn't phase him. He regained consciousness on the day the war with the Soviets ended. ‪#‎YouHitLikeABitchIvan‬

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[TurtleCrusher]

 

[Printer Bandit]

 

[Jodell88]

^^

Too bad we don't have a horror thread. D:

 

[styrafoam]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY&feature=player_detailpage#t=57

 

[XavierMace]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY&feature=player_detailpage#t=57

Thank god I wasn't the only person who recognized that.

 

[raasco]

A good slap in the face for Monday.

 

[krose]

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY&feature=player_detailpage#t=57

Huh.... so thats where that line comes from...

 

[Jeff7]

Huh.... so thats where that line comes from...

That's also assuming that they didn't get it from somewhere else.

 

[manimal]

 

[Sheik Yerbouti]

The caked crusader.

It's not the cake you want, it's the cake you deserved

 

[GagHalfrunt]

That's also assuming that they didn't get it from somewhere else.

I've tried to find the origin of that line and it looks like MP at the Hollywood Bowl seems to be it. I was never able to come up with anything earlier.