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Jesus's middle name is Hume! Caution: Some NSFW images within!

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SphinxnihpS said:
Not to mention, Lucifer is a nickname for Jesus, not Satan. Ugh, Christians can't even get their own religion right half the time...

Lucifer means morning star/light bringer. Some idiot monk fucked up the translation from Hebrew to Greek to Latin and for hundreds of years Christians have been prancing around thinking Lucifer means Satan when it means the opposite.
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didn't know that. I'd assumed the light bringer thing was relating to the eating of the apple, bringing knowledge (light), sort of like Prometheus, who was also treated badly.
 
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SphinxnihpS said:
Not to mention, Lucifer is a nickname for Jesus, not Satan. Ugh, Christians can't even get their own religion right half the time...

Lucifer means morning star/light bringer. Some idiot monk fucked up the translation from Hebrew to Greek to Latin and for hundreds of years Christians have been prancing around thinking Lucifer means Satan when it means the opposite.
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I don't think it was ever applied specifically to Jesus. But you are correct in that it was not originally a name given to Satan, any fallen angels, to a ruler of hell, etc etc etc.

It wasn't so much a botched translation, as an adaptation of old text by a new sect. And it was the Jewish themselves who started that movement.
The "original" Jewish rabbis were disgusted by it, as the original Jewish concepts never depicted a tangible hell, nor any personified evil. It was only ever an abstract concept (evil), never something so concrete as Hell and a ruler of Hell, with eternal damnation and all that goes along with it.
A new Jewish movement liked the original text discussing the concept of a fallen ruler/falling from glory/kicked out of the bosom of divinity, and incorporated that into a a description of it representing Lucifer, the fallen angel who thus became Satan.

Christians merely took that and ran with it.


lucifer, heylel, or whatever it was, was only used in a brief section of the Hebrew text. I think it was all about a dead ruler of someplace, Babylon perhaps.
 
Jodell88 said:
Yeah, she should be sued for damaging of property.
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Did anything break? Many CRTs like that were quite sturdy, and could easily survive that kind of fall with only light screen scratches. it might have gotten away unscathed, given the ankle cushion.
 
busydude said:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt189766.html
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i lost it after the pledge was recited several times.

A liberal homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx.

”Before the class begins," he demanded, "you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
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Nvidiaguy07 said:
i lost it after the pledge was recited several times.
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Maybe a parody of this, which is just a little less obviously fake:

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and ...

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor: Is GOD Good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is Satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . . .

Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor: Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor: Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )
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